Silk & Steel (Spellbound #3)

Chapter 23: Winter Solstice

She stood just outside the door to the keep, shadowed by the tall walls stretching towards the night sky behind her, but Cas didn't need to see to know it was her. He would recognise her voice anywhere.

"Why are you here?" he asked. Until now, she had respected his need for space, only coming close the last time she worked to remove the magic inside him.

Taking two steps towards him, the shadows fell away as the moon illuminated her silhouette. Dressed in a beautiful blue dress with an intricate pattern in gossamer silk along her arms, and her long silver-blonde hair pinned back but flowing freely down her back, she was stunning. It was no wonder Kairn couldn't tear himself from her side.

"I wanted to make sure you're all right," she said, nodding towards the tankard he still held in his hand. "You've had quite a few."

He raised a dark eyebrow. "Worried I will topple off the ramparts?"

The ghost of a smile crossed her lips. "Maybe nothing quite so dramatic. I'm just not used to seeing you imbibe."

Feeling a childish need to prove he was fine—even if he was far from it—he raised the drink in a mocking salute before taking another mouthful. "Considering that we might be under attack any day now, I believe it's fully reasonable to indulge oneself for once."

"Fair." Her gaze lowered to the ground, and she looked as if she was debating whether to continue their discussion. He rather hoped she decided not to. "I suppose we all find different ways to cope when waiting for the inevitable."

When he said nothing else, her shoulders slumped and she let out a small sigh. "Take care of yourself, Castel."

She turned to return inside. He should let her. It was the wise thing to do.

"I hate seeing you with him."

His words halted her steps, and he cursed himself for his inability to remain silent. Turning slowly to face him, her brow lowered and he could see exactly when her temper sparked. Even in the winter night with only the moon and stars to light their way, he recognised the dark glint in her deep-blue eyes, the tightening of her mouth.

"You have no right," she said, crossing her arms over her chest while the wind whipped her long hair behind her like a mantle. She was a glorious sight.

"I know."

"I've been more than clear about what I want, and you chose to—" Her diatribe stopped when she realised what he'd said, and her arms fell back to her sides, but the line between her brows remained. "Then why?"

His free hand flexed while the other tightened around the tankard. "Because I still want you." His eyes met hers, as he could no longer hold back his confession. Aided by jealousy and alcohol, he took a step towards her. "Because I've always wanted you, and I don't know how to stop."

"And I'm right here." She raised her chin slightly in that stubborn way he both loved and found incredibly frustrating. "Like I have always been. So what do you want?"

He let out a joyless sound somewhere between a chuckle and a huff. "That's just the thing," he said as he took another step. "I don't just want to take you to bed, Isobel. Yes, it might scratch that itch, that desire for you that burns ever bright. But I want more than that."

When he stopped in front of her, she had to tilt her head back to continue meeting his gaze. Her mouth was slightly open, and the air misted in front of her when her breath mixed with the cold air.

"Wh... What are you saying, Castel?"

He grabbed her hand with his free one and brought it to his face, running his lips over the knuckles, before gathering the courage to confess everything. "I'm saying that I don't only desire you. I love you, Isobel. I have always loved you. And, I—" He shook his head, trying to find the right words. "I don't know how I could go on without you. I know you can never be with me. Not fully. You're prohibited by your vow as a sorcerer. So maybe I'm a coward like Boreas says. Maybe I've been using my fear of hurting you as an excuse. Because the alternative is to have you for a brief period only to see you walk away, and that's... It's torture."