When All is Lost

Chapter 44

From the corner of my eye, I could see Ian whispering with Ray and shortly after, Ray moved to sit beside me. "What's going on?" he asked.

I glanced at Ian and we locked eyes for a moment before he turned to talk to Misty and Carlos. My stomach twisted uncomfortably. I made my focus turn to Ray.

"Tell the others that another group has arrived. I don't think they're dangerous, but I want everyone to be alert just in case, okay?"

Ray's eyes widened slightly as he nodded. "Okay."

"I don't know what Gertie has planned, but this might change our... situation."

Ray looked unconcerned by my statement and I could almost see the millions of thoughts running through his head behind his eyes. "Did you see the group? Did they have guns?"

"No. They had nothing." To me, that was almost more alarming. I knew as well as anyone that desperate people resorted to desperate measures. I also had to hope that both they and Gertie didn't get any ideas of dipping into my group's supplies. Their youth would almost definitely play on Gertie's conscience. "They also looked young."

Ray raised a brow at that. "How young?"

"There were five of them. The youngest is probably Jamie's age. I think the oldest can't be more than eighteen or nineteen."

The look Ray gave me instantly made me regret my words. Sometimes I forgot that he was barely out of his teens himself.

"Sorry," I mumbled, wanting to hurriedly move on from the subject. "Just let the others know, please?" Big Al let out a jolly laugh at something Jamie said, making me add, "And please be discrete."

Ray looked between me and Big Al and nodded again. "Alright."

He moved off and I got back to my knitting, listening intently as he whispered the news to the others. I knew almost instantly that I'd made a mistake in asking Ray to be the one to deliver the news. His discretion abilities were clearly on par with his ability to be sensitive. If Big Al didn't instantly catch on, then he had the observational skills of a pinecone.

Ray had many great traits and I had come to rely on him, but he couldn't always read the room even when it was dictated to him. I needed to be smarter in the future about who I could lean on and when... especially if Ian was out of the picture.

It was strange how much I missed him after a single night. I hated him, but I missed him. I knew my distance hurt him, but I wasn't sure I had it in me to care. I was struggling too much with my own emotions. I was too angry. And too scared.

In the short amount of time that I'd had to process what Ian had told me, I'd discovered that as angry as I was about what he'd done – and I was very angry – that wasn't where the heart of my emotions lay. It seemed that deep down, what enraged me the most, was that he had revealed anything at all. And that scared the hell out of me. I didn't know what kind of person that made me and I didn't know if I wanted to find out.

---

It took Gertie less than ten minutes to cave – or so I assumed. The teens were checked over for bites in the stall next to ours. My group listened quietly, only resuming their conversations in whispers once the other group was given the all-clear.

"So," Ian said, breaking the worst of the tension that had built up in the silence. "Do you guys normally take in this many people at once?"

His blunt question was the exact one I'd been dying to ask. I could hear the clicking of my needles slow as I lost my rhythm, wanting to hear the answer.

Big Al was thrown by it and, from what I could tell, he was far more serious than usual. "Sometimes." I looked up in time to see him shrug. "It happens."