Danger Zone

Chapter 19: "Higher Love"

"Jules?" Tom asked when he didn't see her immediately.
"I'm here", she replied, hanging upside down from her high bar she had in her home gym. He walked closer to her, and she swung down in a perfect, smooth move. Once she was on her mat, she decided to tease him a little more. She lay down on her back with a flirty smirk on her face.
Tom understood immediately and pinned her down, so that she couldn't move. "And how do you get out of THAT now?" he asked with a grin, his face inches from hers.
"Defenses down", she muttered and looked deep into his eyes again – right to the bottom of his soul.
"In as much?" The tension between them was that of two lovers who are about to make out for the first time ever.
"I'm going to hate myself for it, no matter if I do or don't do ..."
"Do what?" he breathed.
Jules closed her eyes and kissed him. And although it wasn't planned, her kiss turned out to be filled with a lot of passion. A wave of pleasure flooded her body, and she knew that she had cleared that final hurdle. And yet ...
Tom's heart skipped a beat the second her lips touched his. This was sure not how he had imagined their first kiss to be, but here they were. In love. Deeply in love.

"Wow", she said when she broke the kiss again. "Dunno what just came over me, but at least THAT one's outta the way."
Tom lay down next to her, propped up on his elbow, his chin resting in his hand and looked lovingly at her. "Yeah, I guess so."
Jules gnawed on her lower lip again. "But don't ask too much of me. I'm ... not ready to fully commit just yet."
"That was already much more than I expected", he replied. "Are you going to tell ...?"
She shook her head. "Nope. This is our little secret." And at the same time, she realized that she had made matters only worse for them. Kissing him was the last thing she should have done, because it would hurt even more now to let go at the airport. "Fuck", she said.
"What is it, love?"
"I think I just added another level of pain when we ..."
"Shhhhh!" he said and pressed his forefinger on her lips. "Not the time for that right now." He just looked at her and realized how hopelessly in love he was with her.
Jules was absentmindedly playing with the string of his hoodie. "I love that hoodie", she randomly commented. And the man who's wearing it.

With that, she had planted an idea in Tom's mind.

Later that day, they were sitting on her couch, snuggling, and Jules was still a bit confused about what had happened earlier. Not too long ago, she had vehemently denied to be in love with him, even to her best friend. And today, she had gone all in and kissed him. "Whatever happens, happens", she muttered.
"The kiss?"
"Yep." She looked at Tom. "I wasn't ready, and yet, I still kissed you."
"I'm glad you did." He caressed her cheek. "At least we both know where we are with ...whatever this is."
She sighed happily. "You know what? I am in the mood for another nap in your arms."
"Good idea!" Tom lay on his back, so that Jules could lie in his arms, feel his heartbeat and be close to him. He wrapped Jules in an embrace, and within moments, she was sound asleep. He carefully placed a kiss on her forehead and fell asleep as well.

"Jules?" Nora asked when she rolled in. No response. She tiptoed into the living room – where she saw Tom and Jules snuggling and having a nap together. "Awwww, you cuties!" Not knowing what had happened a couple of hours earlier, she secretly snapped some photos to message to Jules: "You lovebirds!" she wrote in the caption and disappeared again. On her way back to her flat, she couldn't stop grinning. If she had ever needed a definite proof about her best friend being in love, she had just gotten it.

Jules woke up before he did. She traced his jawline with her finger, feeling love and affection. Something she had thought she'd never feel again. But then Tom happened. She smiled happily and studied his face. "What have you done to me?" she murmured. Shouldn't have kissed you, though ...

She needed to go to the bathroom and carefully got up, in order to not wake Tom up. On her way, she also picked up her phone and saw Nora's message. "If only you knew, Nora", she said with a giggle.

Just as she returned, Tom woke up as well and wondered why Jules was still giggling. "What is it?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Nora apparently came over for a little visit while we were napping. She sent me photo proof. In other words, new fodder for her to tease me with."
Tom started laughing and replied: "Good thing that she didn't catch us in THAT moment!"
"Oh Lord, we'd never hear the end of it!" Jules hollered.

The day Tom had to leave Jules again, he decided he would leave something behind for her. He placed his hoodie on her bed and included a note:
"For you. Whenever you miss me. <3
Tom :-* "

They didn't speak at all on the way to the airport. Tom clenched his jaw and could barely hide the pain of having to let Jules go.
"I shouldn't have kissed you", she quarreled with herself while Tom hugged her tightly. "It only makes matters worse now, and this shit fucking hurts even more."
"Too late now, isn't it?" he muttered.
"Yeah", she sighed. "No regrets, though!"
He rubbed her back. "I somehow have a hunch that the day when we won't have to let go anymore isn't too far off, though."
"You think?" she asked, her voice thick with sadness.
He nodded. "That kiss sealed it." And if I could, I'd kiss you again, right now, in this very instant.
She looked into his eyes again. "I want this adventure with you. Wherever it'll lead us."
"We've really embarked on one", he replied and leaned in until his lips almost touched Jules's.
"Don't ..." she begged. "Not here. Not now. It's enough that *I* lost control yesterday ..."
He brushed his thumb across her lips. Jules closed her eyes and felt that pleasant tingle all over her body again. Tom had turned her inside out, made her feel in a way she hadn't thought possible anymore. The broken pieces inside her were slowly repairing themselves again. For that alone, she was thankful to have him in her life.
"I don't know what you've done to me, but I love it", he murmured almost inaudibly. I really love you, Jules.

Jules found the hoodie shortly after she had returned from the airport. Not knowing when they'd see each other again was even more painful now. That it was pretty serious between them by now only added to the mess. Whatever "it" was. She sat on her bed, clinging to Tom's hoodie. She closed her eyes and breathed in his scent. "I don't deserve you ..." she mumbled. The feelings she had for him had grown a lot in the past days, all the way to kissing him. And yet ...

She put the hoodie on and immediately felt Tom. As if he was giving her the tightest hug possible. His heartbeat. His warmth. HIM.
She was bit by bit coming to terms with the sensation, when Nora showed up. "Jules?!"
"I'm here", she replied and walked out of the bedroom.
Nora noticed the hoodie immediately and raised an eyebrow.
"Tom left it for me", Jules said. She showed her friend the note.
"Tell me again that the two of you ..."
"Nora, please. Whatever this thing between me and him is ..."
She couldn't finish her sentence, as Nora said: "That 'thing' between Tom and you is called L.O.V.E., sweetie. You guys have it bad for each other."
Jules didn't say anything for a moment, so Nora continued: "Whom of us did he visit? Whom of us is wearing his hoodie? And whom of us did snuggle with him on your couch to have a nap? You cannot tell me any longer that you two aren't in love. It's beyond me how you two aren't together, yet." She looked at her friend. "Just fucking kiss him already next time you see him and tell him that you love him!"
Jules just grinned knowingly ...and was reliving the moment when she had indeed kissed Tom. How good it had felt. His soft lips, her burning desire for him, their love.
"What?" Nora asked, her senses tingling.
"Oh, nothing", Jules replied with a sassy smirk.
Something inside Nora clicked into place. "Oh come ON! You've done it, haven't you?"
"Done what?"
"Kissed him, for God's sake!"
Jules just grinned.
"I knew it ..." Nora said and laughed.

Jules got ready for bed, and all of a sudden, she felt utterly ...alone. While she had never really shared her bed with Tom, the knowledge that he wasn't sleeping only meters away from her tore her almost apart. She stood in front of her bed, her eyes wet again. She dropped her pillow and blanket on the floor and snuggled into the cushion his head had rested on. She inhaled his scent which was still lingering around her, was aware of his presence, his warmth, everything. She had a look at one of the photos Nora had secretly taken of them, zoomed in on his face and stared at it for a bit. "Ich liebe dich", she mumbled and fell asleep.

"I could light the night up with my soul on fire
I could make the sun shine from pure desire
Let me feel that love come over me
Let me feel how strong it could be"