Danger Zone

Chapter 16: "I Come Undone"

"I fucking hate this", Jules muttered under her breath. And by that, she obviously meant to be separated from Tom again. She trusted him, had opened up to him a bit, and allowed him in. Holding hands, snuggles, naps ...all that. It had been five days only since she was back in her normal reality, and she didn't like it at all. Only talking to him on the phone didn't replace anything. On the contrary – it made matters worse. She was longing for him more than she had ever dreamed or thought of.

"I miss the feeling of having you in my arms", Tom texted her, feeling lonely and as if an important part of him had gone missing. He had withdrawn himself a whole lot in the past days since he had last seen Jules. Of course, it hadn't gone unnoticed, but everyone knew better than bugging him. He had never shown this side to Jules, also since he hated himself for it, but if things weren't going the way he needed them to, he had a tendency to lose his shit completely. Therefore, he basically was not talking to a lot of people, not even his sisters. He kept scrolling through the photos of Jules and felt his heart ache with the pain of missing her. When he had first met her, he had not intended to have feelings for her, but here he was, having a gargantuan crush on her.

Jules had become rather monosyllabic as well when Nora tried to talk to her. "Do you need an Emotional Support Friend?" she asked in a text.
"Sure. But I am not the funnest one to be around ..."
"I know. That's why I asked."

A couple of minutes later, Nora showed up and saw the disgruntled state her friend was in. "Jesus! You look like crap!"
"Because I miss Tom."
"Oh Sweetie ..." Everything that had happened so far told Nora that her bestie was beyond help. As in, she had fallen hook, line and sinker for him. "You guys really need to kiss already."
Jules pulled a face. "If only it was that easy ... We both know that we have feelings for each other, but neither of us is ready to make the next step." She sighed. "I shouldn't have let him in."
"Too late now, isn't it?" Nora tried to cheer her up. "Also – why all those ...songs?" she asked when she realized that Jules had some power ballads on.
"Uhm ..." She tried to close the playlist before Nora could see it, but she was too slow.
"Julesy, you have a whole ass playlist called Liebe, with all those power ballads. You visited him a couple of days ago without having a real reason. You had a nap with your man. You know what's up? I'll help you – you guys are head over heels in love. Point. Blank. PERIOD!"
"Nora, please ... don't make this mess any worse than it already is", Jules said and felt her eyes well up with tears again. "I wish I had never met him."
Nora hugged her. "I know ...you haven't felt that way in a decade, you got your heart broken in a way that was unacceptable and inexcusable. And I really think you had to meet him to be able to ...heal." She looked at her lovesick friend. "Give it a chance. He wants you in his life, and you want him, too."
"Do I?" she said with a smile full of pain. Of course I do ...because he ...
Nora tilted her head. "I know it's the last thing you wanted, but I also know you, and you're ready for a relationship again. Trust me."
"And what about ...you know?"
Nora smiled. "I think it's a pretty good sign that he protected you, and that he doesn't force anything on you. Because if he did, you know, I'd be there and tell him off." She looked into her friend's eyes. "When will you see him again?"
"That is exactly the problem here – he's off filming, and we don't know, yet, when we'll hang out again." She ran a hand through her hair. "Knowing him, he'd invite me to visit him on set again, but that is not exactly an ideal situation to explore this ...thing... with us."

Tom was focused on filming, obviously, but every time he had a moment to himself, he realized how much he was missing Jules. He snapped a photo of the landscape around him and added: "Wish you were here. Miss you! <3"
"Miss you, too ... Hope to see you soon again! <3"
Nora knew immediately that the text message Jules had just received was from Tom. "You guys really can't stop flirting, can you?"
Jules sighed heavily. "I wish I could see him more often. And at the same time, I wish I had never met him."
Nora nodded. "Understandable. But as I've said a couple of times over again – you're ready for this."
Just then, her phone buzzed. "Tom", Jules mouthed and disappeared into the bedroom to talk to him without Nora's expert commentary.

"Hey", she said when she answered his video call, after she had plonked down on her bed.
"Hey", he replied. "I miss you."
"I know you do ..." She just looked at him and noticed that he, too, had this longing in his eyes. "When will I see you again?"
"Not sure, yet, but I am trying to figure something out."
She sighed again. "Tom ...is ...is this really getting serious between us?"
"Apparently so, yes." God, how I'd love to be close to you now ...
"So much for Rule Number One", Jules tried to joke, but terribly failed doing so. The pain of not having him around was getting too much to bear.
"Take your time, Jules. No rush."
She swallowed and decided to fill him in on what Nora had told her: "Maybe Nora's right."
"In as much?"
"That I had to meet you to be able to finally heal all those broken pieces inside me."
"I like that a lot", he replied with a smile. "Who knows?"
Jules was quiet for a moment. "Exactly. Who knows?" What I do know is that I am falling for you.

They had just hung up again, when Jules returned to her friend. "So?" Nora asked immediately.
"Nothing out of the ordinary", Jules replied. "We're missing each other, we still don't know when we'll meet next, and he's giving me time."
"That's good to hear." She looked at her best friend. "So you guys are going to continue with your somewhat dating?"
"Yeah, definitely. I think we've gotten too far now to call it off again."
"See?" Nora said, without the slightest hint of tease. I so knew it that you'd crush on and fall in love with him, Sweetie.
"I also told him what you said about meeting him to be able to heal", Jules confessed.
"And?"
"He said he liked that." Jules hung her head again. "God, I miss him. And missing him fucking hurts, too."
"Julesy ..." Nora hugged her friend tightly. "You do love him already, no?"
Jules shook her head. "Too early. But fact is also that I cannot get over him. He's somewhere ... IN there." She paused for a second. "Whatever this is between Tom and me, it feels good, even if it hurts, too." It's a bittersweet pain, though ...
Nora was even more sure now that her best friend was in love, even if Jules tried to downplay it as much as she could. She had feelings for Tom, that was as obvious as night and day, but her insecurity always got the better of her. Nora couldn't blame her – Jules had been terribly hurt and her trust got broken in a really nasty way. Of course she was careful to let someone, a guy, that is, in again.
Nora rubbed Jules's back and tried to cheer her up again, but before she could suggest anything, Jules blurted out: "Do you have any idea how fucking safe I feel in his arms? It's like, he's tearing down those walls around me, while his arms become a new kind of protection? When he holds me close to him, so that I can feel his heartbeat and all?" She rubbed her face. "I don't know what the fuck he's doing to me, but I do know that he's proper messed me up and I've come undone."
Nora looked at her: "And you still want to tell me you're not in love with him already?"

"She's on your mind still, isn't she?" Simon asked Tom one day on set.
"That obvious?" he replied. "I mean, you've seen her, and she's the absolute whirlwind."
"When are you seeing her again?"
Tom pulled a face. "Not sure. I mean, I'd invite her over again, but we both know that we wouldn't have a lot of quiet moments to ourselves, so I need to figure something out here."
Simon playfully slapped his shoulder. "I am sure you will. I'd be happy to welcome her back, though!"

"Don't know what you're doing to me
Cause when your arms reach out I'm gone
Here's my confession you're all that I need
I don't want to love you but oh, oh oh 

With the touch of your hand I come undone
With the flash of your burning eyes
I know that you're the only one"