𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐑𝐄 -Negan x Reader

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You watch as the infamous iron burns from black to orange in the large furnace. You're front and center in the large crowd that had gathered to watch, Dwight by your side. The buzz from the alcohol is still present but you're sober enough to stand on your own now. Your subconscious screaming at you for causing all of this, getting Dwight caught in the crossfire.

All of this, because I was stupid enough to drink and nearly get Dwight and me killed. I don't think I can ever forgive myself.

You can't even look Dwight in the eye; Guilt and embarrassment drowning you. You stay focused on the roaring flames. Trying to avoid a permanent mental image of the three men tied to chairs in the center, waiting for their punishment. Dean was their friend, you would do the same for Dwight if you were in their shoes. It doesn't make them any less deserving of the punishment though. Watching this scene you can't help but picture yourself bound to the chair just as they are, awaiting death or a nasty, fresh scar.

This should've been you.

For reasons unbeknownst to you, Negan pardoned you. You killed someone, no matter the reason, that broke one of his rules. The only difference between you and them is they didn't succeed in their attempt. This definitely should've been your fate. Chills run down your spine as you picture it. A loud melodic whistle rings through the air, the room falls silent. You turn around to find Negan at the top of the stairs. His eyes scan the sea of people, pausing for just a second when he finds you, then continuing to eye the rest of the room. Your heart skips a beat at this. You know he's not happy with you for leaving as you did. Swinging Lucille over his shoulder, he finally speaks.

"We survive. We provide security to others, we bring civilization back to this world, we are the saviors.", he begins, his authoritative voice echoing, everyone listening intently.

"But we can't do that without rules. Rules are what make it alllll work.", he pauses for a moment.

"I know, it's hard sometimes, but here if you can't follow the rules, if you can't obey orders,", he booms, causing everyone's heart to skip a beat.

He chuckles heartily.

"then it's the iron for you.", he grins wickedly.

He gives the crowd a once over before sauntering down the stairs, boots loud on the concrete steps. A path clears immediately in the crowd for him as he reaches the bottom. You being at the very end. His leather jacket hugging every move his torso makes, boots echoing each confident step as he strides through the sea of people. His eyes on you. Your stomach doing flips with each step he takes.

You want to know what he's thinking when he looks at you this way. You haven't been able to read this look. Each and every time you find his eyes on you, he's got that same look. It makes you want to pull your hair out in frustration.

What is it about you that makes him so interested in you? What about you makes him break his own rules? His gaze leaves you as he walks past into the center of the room. He eyes each man as he slips on the glove he uses to hold the iron.

"This has got to be some kind of fucking record. I've never had to give three men the iron at one time." ,he chuckles.

One of his men pull the hot orange iron from the fire with the long stick. Negan takes it into his gloved hand. You almost catch a flicker of a grin pull at his lips.

Does he enjoy this?

He sighs as he approaches the first man. You can hear his rapid breathing, trying to brace himself. Watching him, you imagine that you would've died of a heart attack before the iron ever got close to you. Negan pushes the iron into the man's face without warning. His loud, pained screams penetrate your ears. You can almost hear his skin boiling under the face of the iron. Smoke emits from his face and the screaming stops. His consciousness slips away from the shock.

You feel yourself shaking. Looking away from the horror before you, trying to find anything else to latch your gaze onto, you find Sarah. She's sobbing uncontrollably in the embrace of Sherry, Dwight's ex-girlfriend. They're at the front of the crowd on the other side, they have a perfect view. You also take notice that Sherry isn't wearing the signature little black dress that Negan's wives are accustomed to wear, she's in regular clothing. As Negan moves to the second man, Sarah really starts losing it.

No, don't tell me that's her husband.

You replay what you remember of the events that occurred earlier in your drunken stupor. Finally connecting the dots, you come to the realization that it is, in fact, her husband. She must have ran to go tell him after she spotted you. Your eyes stay glued to Sarah as her husband screams for mercy, skin sizzling. The air reeks of burnt hair and charred flesh. It's a smell you never get used to. Usually these things were bad and you hated watching, but this was torture.

This time, it's your fault they're getting their faces fried off. Tears well in your eyes and blur your vision. Sarah collapses at the sight, wailing. You can't begin to imagine what she's feeling right now. The guilt is absolutely absorbing you. Negan moves to the third and final man, the one that had you at gunpoint. He looks at him for just a moment and then proceeds to throw the iron back into the fire.

"Untie him." ,Negan orders.

The man that was in charge of the iron steps up and swiftly unties the man then returns to the sidelines. You can't see his face but you imagine it's stricken with fear, wondering what's going to happen if not the iron. You see a flicker of change in Negan's demeanor, only for a second though. The authoritarian, cold, ruthless leader persona slipped away in that moment as he eyed the man that had you at gunpoint not too long ago. This was a vengeful look. Like he wants this man to suffer by his hand.

You begin to wonder if anyone else caught this slip or if you've become accustomed to analyzing every twitch Negan makes.

Before anyone can react, Negan grabs the man by the back of his neck and pushes him into the roaring flames of the furnace. You've never heard a scream like this. He fights with what little strength he has but it's not enough to pull himself out. You can hear his skin boiling on the hot coals. The entire crowd is mortified and the room fills with a thick scent of burnt flesh. Negan turns to the crowd, blank expression riddled across his face.

"Let their faces be a daily reminder that the rules matter, and if I give you orders, you obey them." ,He says firmly, gesturing to the remaining two men still bound to the chairs.

He looks over to one of his men.

"Put 'em in the hole." ,he says motioning them off.

He finds you standing amongst the crowd, eyes still wide as you try to comprehend what just happened. You feel as if you're going to be sick.

"As you were." ,Negan booms, and the crowd disperses, all except for you.

He begins to walk in your direction as you go to say something to Dwight only to realize he's gone. He did in fact have a job so that's where he must have went to. You know he's mad at you. You also know he probably won't forgive you. You'll spend the rest of your life ashamed of yourself for what you caused today. Here lately, it seems to you that you can't do anything without someone getting hurt or killed. Negan's right up on you now. You can feel the warmth radiating off of him. You look up from your dissociative stare and find him eyeing you.

"I think we need to have a little chat." ,he says lowly, the breath coming off of each syllable brushing against your ear, making goosebumps rise all over your body.

Your eyes trail off, trying to avoid eye contact, feeling ashamed of yourself. You catch Sherry, comforting Sarah who's still on the floor sobbing. If looks could kill, you would be dead a thousand times over. This confuses you.

Why is she looking at me like that? She can't possibly have known what happened earlier. And why is she in regular clothes and not that usual black dress?

Negan follows your gaze and then looks back to you, amusement riddled across his face.

"Yeah I gotta bring you up to speed on that too." ,he grins.

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