Imagines ( All my favorite guy candy)

WORST DATE EVER

Okay so it all started today after work my Ex J( we just call him J ) hit me up. You know how it is after the freshman year of college. People coming back and they want to "reconnect" or whatever but let me tell yall about what happened in the past. In my senior year of high school I dated J and I broke up with him because he cheated on me with some easy thot freshman. Like one she wasn't even cute and two she was bussin it open for a happy meal. So you know me I aint tolerate foolishness so I dipped. 

Okay back to present day so I was driving home from work and got a message. I don't text or drive but it interrupted my husband singing.  I was bumpin my Pop It and august was talking yall know he my bae. So when I  got home I opened to see who gone get cussed out. Nobody and I mean NOBODY interrupt my bae that's a death sentence. 

But this is how the conversation went

J- wasuup 

Me –Hey 

J – Hey 

( Pause) so yall see this nigga is kinda slow but we all make mistakes but back to the story 

J- wat you been on 

Me- work just got home from school 

j- awe that good 

( Pause) – Wat the fuck does that mean awe that good. Nigga speak English but back to the story 

J- wat you trying to do tonight 

Me- huh 

j- LOL 

 ( pause) Wat da fuck is funny bout Huh it's a three letter word 

Me- wats so funny 

J- nah I was watching Scooby doo and I wanted to know 

( pause) Okay like this nigga act like I give a fuck 

j- you want to see that new scary movie 

me – um sure I aint got nothing else to do 

j – damn just like that lol 

me-Just like that lol

okay so we on our way to go the movies and I was just in my mind nigga don't touch me because this aint a date. So this is how the car convo went no lie 

j- why yo fine ass single 

me- excuse me 

j- I mean why you single I mean your TYLER

yes this nigga just sceamed my name so yall now im childish 

me – use yo inside voice ( turn up the radio)

so no type came on so I started to vibe this nigga though this was an opportunity 

j- I AINT GOT NO TYPE TYLER IS THE ONLY THIING I LIKE 

me- well I don't like you 

okay so we go to see the movie it was pretty good. it was the poltergeist it was deso. He aint try nothing in the movie so I thought okay the rest of the night is going to be good. oh that was until we went to dinner. Now yall know how I am come correct or don't come at all . this nigga was a gentleman you kno opening doors and shit . so Im thinking we just goin to the restaurant. No this nigga pulled out his phone 

j- what you wanna listen to 

me – the radio is fine 

j- okay how bout one of my songs 

me – okay 

j- ight ill play my no love remix 

so in my mind this nigga better not try to do my husband song. So of course the title got me interested and oh lord this nigga cant sing for shit. I mean this nigga sound like auto tone had a crack baby. so I was very blessed that the restaurant was close. So I thought okay we in the restaurant parking lot so we can get out the car. No this nigga let his wack song play like what the fuck. I was sitting there boy can you please turn yo wanna be  drip drop hustler flow ass off. like the lyrics was no love for thots because they do block. Oh and the best part is he said he was driving in Chicago on the northside nigga that's not hood cred. That's where the beaches are so what you talking about.. so yall kno im childish so I ask this nigga when his mixtape come out and he gone tell me exact date. Like I really gave a damn 

so we go in the restaurant and we order our food. So they bring my salmon Caesar salad and I was happy as hell because I love food. Like food is bae don't tell august tho yall know he got anger problems throwing chairs and shit. But okay so im eating my food and I look up and this nigga blowing his nose with the fancy napkin. OH hell no that's was it I couldn't take it 

me – REALLY YOU HAVE TO BLOW YOUR NOSE HERE OKAY THAT'S IT I HAD IT . IM TIRED OF THIS HANG OUT BECAUSE YOU ACTING LIKE IT'S A DATE. I DON'T WANT YOU. AND YO ASS CANT FUCKIN SING SO STOP TRYING. SOUNDING LIKE FUTURE AND YUNG THUG HAD A BABY WHO WAS RAN OVER AND ADDICTED TO CRACK. AND THAT MOTHERFUCKA WOULD SOUND BETTER. 

Needless to say I aint goin on no more dates until im sitting across from my baby august. I aint got that longer to wait on him because he comes June 20. Don't say nothing when yall see me on bae Instagram page on june 21