COPYCAT ✾ The Umbrella Academy

{ TWENTY-THREE }

We all sit upstairs at Hotel Obsidion, silenced by our own thoughts. Those of us that are here, are lucky to be. We lost Fei and Christopher to the Kugelblitz. All I can think is; who next?

Luther and Sloane are cuddled up on the couch. Uncle Viktor and aunt Allison brood in opposite corners still pissed at each other. Uncle Five looks out over the hotel lobby from the balcony, and Ben stands with a flask in hand.

Mom lays on the chair near Luther and Sloane, her feet lazily thrown over the back. I sit on the ground next to her, reading a book, only I'm not reading, I'm observing everyone. And dad stands off to the side, flipping one of his knives into the air and catching it over and over again.

"So, how is it that we're still here, but the whole of the universe is going down the cosmic shitter?" Allison suddenly asks, getting everyone's attention, and I put down the book I wasn't reading. "Maybe we're the last to get flushed." Viktor suggests after a long silence.

"Wasn't talking to you," Allison responds. I roll my eyes. The sibling's petty bullshit is giving me a headache. I wish they could just move on, I mean, we're all gonna be dead in a day or two anyway. We all might as well put our differences aside. At least that's how I see it.

Luther sighs, glancing around the room. "Hey, has anyone seen Klaus?" He asks. I look around, realizing for the first time that uncle Klaus is nowhere to be found. I knew something was off. "Or dad?" Sloane adds, looking around before looking to Luther, who she clings onto the arm of.

"They'll be here," Diego says as if the two will just magically appear. "Really? Did they... hit traffic on the way?" Ben asks. I can't decide whether to roll my eyes or laugh. "Look, people, we're alive because we're special, right?" Ben sighs as he continues. "We're the only ones who can save the universe."

"Uh, question." Aunt Allison says, raising her hand. "Yes." Ben nods. "Didn't we just try that and fail miserably?" She asks. "Yeah, it's because his plan was stupid," Diego responds, referring to Ben. Allison hums as dad walks to the center of the room, saying, "I got a better plan."

"'Course you do." Ben mumbles. "We go with the large hard-on particle accelerator. You guys do some science, and...-" Diego clicks his tongue as we all give him funny looks, "-... we launch the Kugelblitz into outer space. Didn't think I knew that, did ya? It's in Switzerland."

I tilt my head in confusion, having no clue as to what my father's talking about, as mom returns to sitting normally. "It's 'hadron,' not 'hard-on,' ya moron!" Ben corrects. "Oi! At least he's trying, you shitty little squid. What have you contributed?" Mom says.

"Actually, he did blow up half his family." Diego points out. "Oh, you wanna talk about family problems?" Ben asks, walking up to dad. "You know what should have blown up is that face on that neck!"  "I wish I had a cake to hit you with it in your face!"  "What are you talking about?" Ben asks in Korean. "You better cut that out..." Dad says in Spanish. "Shut up!" Ben retorts, still speaking Korean.

I roll my eyes, leaning back against mom's legs. "Hey!" Five yells, getting the two to shut up. "You guys done? The universe is disappearing outside. So you can keep rearranging the deck chairs of the Titanic if it makes you feel better. But the fact remains that we are too late."

Diego and Ben scoff, walking back to their original positions. "Five, come on," Luther says dismissively. Five sighs. "It's over, Luther. We failed." He says. "Come on. It can't be over over." Viktor says, sitting up straight in his chair.

"Yeah, come on, Five. We gotta figure this out, man." Dad says. "Okay. How about we take a step back?" Five clasps his hands together. "Look at the big picture here. Most of us have spent the last twenty-eight days trying to stop the world from ending. What exactly have we accomplished?"

Everyone shrinks back. "Well, we made some friends along the way," Luther says after a moment of silence. He glances around at Sloane, Lila, and me. Five points at him. "Incorrect! You know what we've done? Nothing. We made things worse. Every. Single. Time."

"Amen to that," Allison mumbles. "Look, when I went to the Commission, I had a conversation with my hundred-year-old self." Five says. "And my last words to me were, 'don't save the world'."  " 'Don't save the world'?" Viktor echoes. "Don't save the world." Five repeats.

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard," Dad says. "Is it?" Luther asks. "I mean, whatever we're doing's not working. All we ever do is save the world for a day, pat ourselves on the back, and then everything goes to shit again."

"Yeah, maybe we're the problem," Viktor mumbles. "Oh, yeah. Us." Allison scoffs. "So, wait. Your big plan is... no plan?" Mom clarifies. "Exactly. Conscientious objection." Five answers. "Why the hell not? We've tried everything else. Look, maybe this is just what the universe needs. I say embrace the apocalypse. See what's on the other side."

"What if it's... nothing?" Sloane asks. Five clicks his tongue. "Then it's been nice knowing you all. Whatever's on your bucket list, I recommend you do that now."

Everyone sighs, shrinking back. "Well, on that... super happy note, we've um..." Luther starts, looking at Sloane. We all look over at them, watching as Sloane giggles, and they stand up. "We've, uh, got a little announcement to make," Luther announces. He looks at Sloane and she smiles.

"We're engaged!"