Oh! Darling

Chapter 17

Marcia's POV

Clarifying the fact that myself and John only went to the counsellor once and I backed out. We haven't made up. I was still at my parents house. Though the day Paul tried doing all this stupid shit, I had only gone back to get some things. 

As I was leaving Jessica had showed up, off to hustle Paul into a happy mood. I didn't acknowledge her or anyone else. They can make up, but I'm not talking to John.

Everything is making me angry. I'm so paranoid and tense that I'll yell at anything that makes a noise. I couldn't be bothered with anyone. I felt so sorry for myself, but then I realized I had no point in it. 

I couldn't live with the fact that I'd be having John's baby in a few months, and not even be living with him. I want this child to have a father, but how can I trust John with a baby. They do things that people don't like because they don't understand. I just hope John knows that. 

I was sick and tired of everything. I spent the rest of my night laying in bed, saying sorry to everything. My parents, my baby, my family, my fans and even John. But I also got a phone call from Paul the same night. 

The light was off but there was still some shine from the moon in my room. My sore eyes looked over to the phone, I picked it up and answers it. 

"Hello?" I answered softly

"Hey Marci" Said Paul 

"There must be a pretty good reason you're calling me, after all that's happened" I sighed 

"No, I just wanted to say thanks for calling Jessica and telling her about me, I wasn't actually gonna kill myself, I don't have a reason too" Paul said 

"I thought Jessica was your reason?" I questioned 

"Maybe, I was just really upset about losing her. I told a white lie from behind the bathroom door" Paul explained 

"Interesting" I said 

"So what about you and John?" Paul asked 

"I don't know, I'm so damn confused I don't know what to do" I sighed in frustration 

"He's really sorry, a few nights ago he called me up sobbing, John never sobs. He needs you Marcia, when you went to get your stuff he wanted you to stay so bad, he can't function with out you I mean you're the reason he keeps up with life" Paul stated 

"I want to forgive him but, I can't. I've let him have so many chances that I've lost tract of them all" my throat had a lump in it now, one I couldn't swallow 

"I know, but you're a forgiving person, he doesn't want to lose you again" Paul said 

"What am I supposed to do, Paul?" I sobbed 

"Whatever you want love, it's what makes you happy. If you want a divorce...nobody is saying you can't" Paul spoke cautiously 

"I know" I sighed. 

Written by Hannah