Onion's!venus teaching My!Venus how to Make a fruit salad

262 3 7
                                    

———
_onlon_ 's Venus = bold
My Venus = Underline
———
Venus: ok so.. we have to cook something rn, but what the hell should we cook?
Venus: idk tbh
Venus: Pipsqueak, today I decided to cook my fav food, a fruit salad.
Venus:... Ok..?
Venus: First we should get the Ingredients, and basically, we need strawberries, Pineapples, Blueberries, Red Grapes, Kiwis, Mandarins, Bana-
Venus: Wait- Mandarin is a language, not a fruit..
Venus: I meant Mandarin Oranges you short asshole(Venus is 2 inches shorter than Venus)
Venus: Oh.. Btw I'm allergic to Oranges..
Venus: yeah that's fine we could just use mangoes instead
Venus:Cool..
Venus: Anyways, Then we need to add bananas-
Venus: I'm allergic to those to..
Venus: oh.. then we don't need to add them, I don't really like them either.. anyways after that, we need to add honey-
Venus: V-Venus?
Venus: Yeah?
Venus: I'm allergic to honey..
Venus: Jesus Christ.. then we could use maple syrup-
Venus: Allergic to that to.
Venus: Is there anything that ur NOT allergic to!?
Venus: Idk tbh since I have over 30 allergies-
Venus: OVER 30!?(no wonder why this man is so skinny...)
Venus: Yeah..
Venus: ok.. then we could use brown rice syrup..?
Venus: idk what that is but I hope I'm not allergic to it..
Venus: I hope so too man.. and lastly, lime
Venus: ok so... now that we finished, should we start actually doing it now?
Venus: yes ofc u idiot. First, we have to chop the fruit except for the blueberries.. do u wanna do it yourself?
Venus: Yeah sure,
*Venus starts chopping the fruits but really slowly*
Venus: UGH a why are u so slow!?
Venus: So I don't hurt myself?-
Venus: Let me do it!
*Venus starts chopping the fruits quickly*
Venus: Venus.. I'm not good with the knife so I can't do that without cutting my finger-
Venus: WDYM YOU CANT DO THIS WITHOUT CUTTING YOUR FINGER THIS IS SO EASY!!!
*Venus starts yelling at Venus for like- 10 minutes until Venus finally stops, leaving Venus scared af*
Venus: you know what.. just make the dressing.. u just have to mix the honey, the lime zest and the lime juice in that bowl over there *pointing to a bowl*
Venus: Y-yes sir..
*Venus starts doing what he was told to do until the both of them finish*
Venus: Now that You've finished, just pour the dressing in the fruit bowl I just made..
Venus: o-ok
*Venus Pours the dressings over the fruit bowl*
Venus: Now you just toss the salad around till it's evenly coat-
*Venus is about to toss the salad onto the counter but Venus stops him*
Venus: VENUS I MEANT MIXING THE FRUIT YOU GODDAMNING BITCH!!
Venus: S-SORRY
*Venus starts mixing the fruit till it's evenly coated*
Venus: ok.. now that's it's finished, we should probably eat this..
Venus: no t-thanks, I'll pass
Venus: you little- ugh, then I'll just eat it with the others..
———
+Bonus
—-
* Venus walking to (my) Mercury*
Venus: Hey pipspueak, do u want some of this...?
Mercury: N-no... I'll pass.. you can give some to konnor tho, he didn't eat anything for breakfast yet.
Venus: Uhh.. who is konnor...?
Mercury: How do u not know ur own boyf- oh... you must be Venus from another universe right?
Venus: Yeah..? Can u tell me who tf is he?
Mercury: Oh, u see uh.. konnor dates Venus, and he's visiting for the night..
Venus: Venus is dating someon- uh- HUH!?
Mercury: Yup, you heard me.. dating...
Venus: uhhh... I'm gonna try to not question that
Mercury: btw konnor is in Venus's Bedroom
Venus: Ok..?
*Venus walks over to Venus's bedroom*
*Venus opens the door*
Venus: O-OH GOD IM SO SORRY!!
*venus shuts the door*
(Whatever happens is ur ✨imagination✨)

Your local chaotic solarballs and random tumblr aus and stuff :3Donde viven las historias. Descúbrelo ahora