The Alphas Guard

Chapter 53

I looped the lace of my kaftan, tightening its hold on my waist as I stared into the mirror.

Green eyes stared back at me. Dull, glimmer-less green eyes. I sighed, straightening out the burgundy red skirt before turning, not sparing myself another glance. I couldn't look at my own reflection without hating myself for not killing the witch fast enough. I couldn't look at myself knowing I killed my mother once more. I couldn't look at myself without thinking how much better I could have done – not for everyone, but for myself.

Warm arms wrapped around my waist, diminishing my capacity to think. I closed my eyes as I leaned into Luca's chest – traitorous tears lining my vision.

"Stop thinking, verde," He whispered, breath fanning my ears, "You did everything you could. You did everything you needed to,"

I nodded mindlessly, disagreeing with his kind words but agreeing with him just to silence my mind for the time being.

"It feels like this is a dream, a dream I could have never dreamed but one I am," I admitted, tone low, "It still feels like I'm stuck. Nothing feels real,"

"All of this is real," He reassured, "The birds sing louder in your presence. The swivel against the wind with more grace when you're here,"

I blushed, eyes meeting the floor.

"You always know what to say," I mumbled, staring at our reflection in the mirror, "I hate it, but I love it so much,"

"I'm just glad you're back," He laid a wet kiss to my neck, compelling my eyes to close as I leaned further of my weight against his chest, "Only the goddess knew how heavy my grief made me,"

"Oh, Luca,"

"Let's not get into that now," He ushered, "There's so much I have to tell you. So many people I want you to meet. I cannot wait to speak of the wonders I've uncovered – we'll do it all at your own pace,"

"Thank you," I said, grateful, "I just feel so- so disoriented. It's only been a day since I saw you but for you- for you it's been decades,"

"The disorientation will subside. I don't know when it will, but it's only a matter of time,"

My lips parted.

"Is that what you thought when I was gone?" I asked, turning to face him.

He furrowed his brows, confused.

"That it's only a matter of time for me to come? That you would stay alone and wait for time to finally befriend you?" I tilted my head, eyes shiny as they met his, "Did you never once give up? Did you never once come to terms with the thought that I wouldn't come back?"

He let out a shaky breath, grip on my waist tightening.

Worry laced his ocean orbs, evoking confusion out of me.

"What is it, Luca?" I asked.

Worry began settling over my heart as I sensed his panic through our bond. His grip on my waist farther tightened, forcing the smallest of gasps out of me – not at the pain, but at the shock of realisation.

He immediately let go at the sound of my voice.

"I'm sorry, I-"

"There was a time, wasn't there?" I asked, every muscle in my body hardening, "There was someone else, wasn't there?"

"It's not what you think, Leila," He rushed out, going to grab my hands only for me to step backwards.

My soul crumbled.