The Alphas Guard

Chapter 27

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I did not sleep properly that night.

Guilt swarmed my entire body and the image of father's distraught face when I didn't grant him a place in my heart stayed in my mind. It was awfully there; that feeling sitting right on top of my chest. I could have forgiven him and stopped myself from feeling that way, but that would have kept him safe on his high horse thinking he got away with what he did.

Stressed, I turned in my bed, only to be greeted by Luca's wonderful face as he snoozed the night away.

He looked wonderful in his sleep.

To honor my deep need for respect, Luca created a border of pillows to separate our bodies from touching one another, but that night, separation was the last thing I wanted. I craved warmth, sentiment and contact. I craved feeling light, airy and delicate. I craved love.

Using my elbows, I sat up straight and began dismantling our border as gently as I could, picking up each pillow and throwing it to the ground with a small 'thud'. All while doing that, images of fathers face and fragments of Slaiman's hurtful words began popping up in my brain. I would have paid my entire life's savings to find out why my brother, my own blood, was treating me so poorly. It wasn't like I was going to cry over him, he surely didn't deserve that, but it just hurt.

It may be petty of me to hold it against him, but I almost died killing that beast in the outskirts all because I didn't want him to die.

Did I remind him of a memory he did not want to recall?

Did I do something without realizing I hurt him?

Did my existence cause him pain?

Once all the pillows were on the ground, I sat there, back against the headboard of the bed, staring down at my fiddling fingers.

Mother, I spoke to myself, where are you when I need you with all my being?

My head shifted so I was looking at Luca and an instinctive smile grew on my lips. He made me happy with one look. He made the butterflies in my stomach turn to bees with one touch. He made my chest feel full in a way my present family couldn't. In a way only mother could.

I knew I should have been feeling grateful that I still had family alive, but that day, I would have traded both Slaiman and Father for mothers presence. Without a shadow of a doubt, I'm positive I would have done that. But I didn't know a witch powerful enough to resurrect the dead and I was pretty sure that was a grave sin in accordance with the moon goddess.

"Come here," Luca's groggy voice made me eyes snap to his serene figure, "right here,"

He lifted his arm, creating a small space right between his chest and the mattress for me to rest.

"I don't want you to be uncomfortable, hobbi," I said, lips rising at the sight of his sleepy face.

He grabbed my thigh and gently pulled me downwards, forcing a gasp out of me as I slid from the headboard and into his bare chest. Instinctively, my palm rested at his peck, balancing myself from the strength of his graceful pull.

"Much better," His arms went around my waist as he snuggled his face deeper into my neck, "much, much better,"

I giggled softly as his breath fanned my neck, the sensation mimicking a tickle.

"Go to sleep verde," He laid a small kiss to my neck, forcing an avalanche of fire to rise from my skin, "go to sleep,"

I did as he told me.