A Soldier's Misery

Chapter 11

I am peacefully eating my lunch alone here in the hotel restau. I been working all day dahil dumami ang trabaho lalo ng magkasakit ako. Dahil medyo malayo ang pwesto na pinili ko aside that I won't bother the other staff and guests I prefer to be on this side also, it's good spot to be alone.

"Hi, Do you mind if I sit here" napaangat ang tingin ko ng may magsalita.

"No, "tumango pa ako. Skyler on his office suit and clean cut sit in front of me. I don't know what to feel. I just keep calm.. Hindi ako manhid para hindi mapansin ang ginagawa niya. Palagi niya akong hinahatid kahit may gamit sasakyan. Convoy kami palagi. Walang palya simula ng gumaling ako. Every night din palagi siyang nag tetext. His actions say it all but I still want to confirm through words. I don't want to be confused.

"Are you done? "tanong niya habang binibigay ang order sa nag-aabang na waiter. 

I wipe my hands and nod at him. He nodded a bit.

"Can you stay and wait for me"  sabi niya kaya ibinaba ko ang tubig na iinumin ko sana. Nakakabigla din kasi siya minsan. 

"Bakit? " I asked, confused..

"Let's go together. I'll be fast" he smiled wider. Pinagtitinginan na nga kami sa buong restau. Natapos siyang kumain na tahimik kami pareho.

"let's go " anito at inalalayan akong tumayo.

What a gentleman!!

Naglalakad kami papasok ng makasalubong ko ang kapa----no erase I don't treat her as that. My stepsister. May dala siyang lunch at hindi niya ako napapansin dahil ang buong atensyon niya kay Skyler.

"Skyler, I bring lunch "she smiled widely and show the paperbag.

"Let's eat this together "malapad ang ngiti nito at napakabait ng maamong pagmumukha nito.  Dahil naisip ko naman na wala akong gagawin unti unti na akong naglalakad papasok at balak iwanan sila ng pigilan ako ni Skyler.

"Sarriene, wait "nabigla pa si Allison ng makita ako. Pabalik balik ang tingin nito sa dalawa.

"What's the meaning of this? "ani Allison at tiningnan ako ng puno ng pagbabanta.
I shrugged my shoulders "Nothing, I'll go first "

"Bakit kayo magkasama ni Sarriene Skyler ?" rinig ko pang tanong ni Allison pero hindi ko nalang pinagtuonan ng pansin.

Madali kong tinapos ang trabaho ko para hindi na ako kulitin at ihatid ni Skyler dahil nalilito nadin ako. Nasa labas na ako ng makita ko si Michael.

"Michael "tawag ko dito. Ngumiti siya at ginulo ang buhok ko.

"I heard that your sick. I'm sorry I didn't visit pero babawi ako today, let's hang out please " ani nito at inakbayan pa ako.

"Sure, Saan ba?"

"Leave it to me Sarriene. Please come in "sabi niya at binuksan ang pinto ng puting sedan niya. 

"What about my car? "sabay naming tiningnan ang car ko.

"Don't worry about it. Ipapakuha ko yan sa driver at ihahatid sa inyo." sabi niya kaya hindi na ako nagdalawang isip pa at pumasok na.  In-on niya ang music at sinabayan namin ang kanta ni Miley Cyrus na 'Party In USA' until we reached our destination. Nag pizza parlor at dinala niya ako sa arcades. 

"Let's do this again please " ani ko. Nasa harap na kami ng dagat may hawak na beer sa likod ng kotse niya. This is our last stop today. Sobrang saya at naalala ko tuloy pag naghahang out kami ni Michael noon palaging akong tinatawagan ni Mom at she always request for pasalubong kaya palagi ko siyang dinadalhan ng cupcakes and flowers. Inangat ko ang tingin sa langit. I love how peaceful the night is. There's no stars yet it's calm and show that tomorrow will be sunny.

"I guess this is going to be the last time, Sarriene "nabigla ako sa sinabi ni Michael. Tiningnan ko siya pero nakaharap siya sa dagat. Unti unti siyang humarap sakin. Makikita ang lungkot sa mukha nito.

"What do you mean Michael? " parang may nakabara sa lalamunan ko ng sabihin iyan. Huminga siya ng malalim bago nagsalita.

"Actually I like you Sarriene not a friend but I like you to be mine. romantically. But, it's clear that you don't feel the same. " Napatigil ako sa sinabi nito dahil alam ko. All along alam ko hindi ako manhid. Michael is a sweet and loving man but I don't think we can be lover. I don't feel the same way all I feel is pure friendship.

"Michael,we already talk about this right I mea---" he cut me off.

"Yeah, I know that " huminto siya at uminom ng beer at humarap ulit sa dagat. I do the same.
Ilang minuto lang ay muli siyang nagsalita.

"I'm leaving " tumulo yung luha ko sa sinabi niya pero nanatili lang akong nakaharap sa dagat.

Huminga ako ng malalim at pinahiran ang luha bago nagsalita.
"Kailan ka babalik? "

Humarap ako sa kanya at makikita ang pag iingat sa mata nito.
"I don't know but I'm planning to leave for good " anito. Masakit maiwan lalo na ng totoong kaibigan. In life you're not just experiencing heartbreak from boyfriend or girlfriend. Family and Friends can cause heartbreak too.

"Is that why are you leaving because you like me. Are you fucking serious Michael"  may halong inis ang sabi ko.

"I will be married soon" anito na nagpagulat sa akin.

"Hindi kita maintindihan. Nakakalito "

"I already tell her that I like you and she's insecure and hurt but she accepted it. The only thing I promised to her is to leave so that she wouldn't feel left out and insecure "anito na mas nagpagulo sa akin. Pero makikita din sa kanya na naguguluhan din siya.

I smiled "You love her "nanlaki ang mata nito at nagulat.

"Michael,you already love her the moment you care about her and the moment you considered about her feelings " I calmly said and drank my shot and open another bottle. Michael is lost in his thoughts.

What a shame? I have crazy friend. Deny pa.

"Your right Sarriene, I started to get over you and started to like her. She's nice by the way " anito parang wala sa sarili.

"Kung ganon bakit kailangan mo pang umalis? " tanong ko at huminga ng malalalim.

"Because I'm still confused about my feelings. This is the only way I could move on"

"You don't need to do this Michael. You don't need to leave to move on. You don't need to escape from it. "

"We have different way to heal and move on. This is mine. I'm sorry Sarriene". Malungkot niyang sabi.

"Are we still friends? "tanong ko habang nakatingin sa mata nito.

"The first time I know about my feelings for you I know that it will change. Because whenever we hang out its not a pure friendship anymore. But I can assure that you still the best friend I have. You have a special space on my heart "it's hurt to know it. But we need to accept reality. We are still friends though. He's confused I hope he find out about it sooner. Kung anong kinatalino niya sa negosyo ganun siya kabobo sa feelings. Kung hindi ko lang siya kaibigan matagal ko na siyang nilunod sa dagat na nasa harap namin ngayon.

"I guess that's enough for tonight,Michael. Best wishes for you and her" he nodded sadly pero tumayo at inayos ang kalat namin bago pumasok sa kotse.

"Drive me home for the last time till you came back. " I said hoping for him to gain his consciousness. Maybe nasobrahan sa beer ang utak kaya hindi masyadong gumana.