The Hidden Servant

Chapter Fourty-Three: Regret (2)

I did remember one place he loved, the garden. I ran to the garden and slammed open the door. "Deku!" And there they were, I was worried for nothing.
My worry was for nothing. This anxiety was overwhelming.. I hate that. God, I hate that I feel this way.
I stared at deku, my cape is still draped around his shoulders. I scanned his body for any unusual markings. His clothes and hair look a little rustled. Why?.. did she do something. She's been overly interested with Deku.. they hung out for hours, and he disobeyed my orders.. I walked over quickly and stared the princess down. Her clothes appear untouched. I see the book next to her, I'm burning it. I glare at her. "You dare steal my servant. I'll have your head. If you've laid but a finger on him I'll kill you!" I gently grabbed Dekus wrist and pulled him up to his feet. His wrists are still so thin.. he needs to eat. He'll get sick if he doesn't-
This bitch begins laughing like a fucking maniac. She stood and made eye contact with me. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were so possessive, if I was aware I would've brought him back earlier. Anyways,"
Would she shut up I don't care..
"I'm going to head to bed in my guest room"
Thank the lords above.
"I'll see you two for breakfast in the morning."
She looked at Izuku and gave a cheeky smile, "Thankyou Izuku" she then went inside.
I hate that.. did she do something to him.. with him. I hate it. I hate it.. I hate it.. I hate her.
I sighed. "I thought something happened to you again, Damnit.." I mumbled glancing at him. I hate being honest, it's such a weakness. "I said be quick. Don't take advantage of me" was that right to say?.. I've embarrassed myself I have to cover it. He's just a servant I shouldn't feel this way..
I glance at his body up and down. "You need to eat and it's hours passed dinner."
"K-Kacchan it's ok.. I'm not hungry.."
It's been hours how is he not..? I made him food too.. I spent so long on it..
"I said you need to eat." I stated and grabbed his wrist walking inside and towards the kitchen. I really wanted him to try what I made.. I hope he thinks it's good.. I'm.. I'm excited..

Before we got to the kitchen I remembered Chiyo finally got the suppressants. I thought maybe him knowing we have them now he'll be less stressed about the topic.
"Chiyo got your suppressants, and they're in my bathroom now. You'll take them when your heat decides to start."
Soon his body will be healthy enough to do its natural things.. and maybe he'll be happier when his body is healthier too..

His pheromones began going crazy- he's anxious.. does it really stress him out that much, I shouldn't have brought it up again. "Deku.." I turned to him. "Don't think about it too much, I know it stresses you. But you'll be fine." I know I'm bad with reassurance.. it's embarrassing. But we have stuff to control it.. it should stress him less..
"How?-"
"You're easy to read and you can't control your pheromones"
He just nodded and I took that as a we can continue to the kitchen.
My mother asked me to come talk to her. I forgot entirely. I'll have to visit her I suppose.. we entered the kitchen and I grabbed the soup I made for him and took the top off and threw the cover away. "Eat it. I'll be right back.." I set it by him with a spoon and left.
I walked to her workroom and opened the door. She was not in her office.. I guess she went to bed. I closed her door and walked to her room and knocked then opened the door.
"Ah- Katsuki. I said come talk to me hours ago." I think she just got into bed, my father is already asleep.. "But I'm in here now, so what did you want?"
"Katsuki, get out of my room. We can talk tomorrow if I'm not busy." She sighed and shooed me away. I closed her door. I just wasted time I wanted to see Dekus reaction to the food I made. I quickly walked back to the kitchen, and stopped by the door, I heard a liquid go down the drain. I knew what it was.. A pit grew in my chest. An ache in my throat. This was my first time really cooking something, and it was all for nothing.. This feeling is terrible.. I feel terrible. I really did try so hard.. I spent so.. long on it.. I even got help.. maybe.. maybe he tried it and didn't like it.. that hurts more to think about.. my chest hurts so bad..
I stepped into the door way and looked at him as he sat on the floor. I stared at him, he appeared lost in thought. Maybe me bringing up his heat stressed him too much. I guess it's my fault he didn't eat.. he could have at least tried it.. well.. he might've.. I'll find out.. I scanned his body, his clothes were still a bit tattered. "What did the princess do to you?" I watched as he fidgeted with his hands. Is he nervous? Of what? What'd she d-
"She's actually.. really nice.. she read me a book.. and gave me a healing stone.. she said it won't heal my current wounds, but it will prevent new ones if I wear it. Elvish magic is really cool Kacchan.."
I know it is.. why is she so kind to him.. is she interested in him? She shouldn't be, he's mine. I don't want him spending more time with her.. I stopped getting involved with the princesses to spend time with him, to take care of him, but she's taking him away. I hate this. "Hmg.." I sighed not knowing how to respond. "Let me see the stone." He stood and walked over handing me the stone from his pocket, he didn't put it on yet. I examined it, it was real.. it's not dangerous.. I gently put it around his neck, it looks good on him.. "ok.." I sighed. "Let's go." I left and started my way to my room as he followed behind me. "You didn't eat did you?" "Wha-"
He thought he could hide it from me? I won't tell him I made it..
"You can't lie to me Deku. You're such a shit liar." I mumbled walking up the stairs. "I'm sorry Kacchan.. I really don't think I can get food down right now.."
I sighed entering the room. He didn't try it.. not even a taste. I wasted my time.. It's my fault, I feel guilty.. I can't show it, it's weak.. "this one night" he doesn't have to eat for tonight.. I just wish he didn't pour it down the drain.. he could have saved it.. or maybe he thought I'd think he ate it.. but if I didn't know he through it away.. I'd get a fake response about it.. damn..
I feel like shit..
"I won't remind you of your heat again. S-sor- fuck that, you know what I mean." I hate that word. It's so stupid.
"Go change and then lay down." After, I changed then laid in bed.
I glanced at him as he quickly changed then put my cape back on. It looks good on him. He looked at me and just stood there. "Come on" I patted my bed. He kind of hesitated but eventually he walked over and laid in bed getting under the covers.
"The princess is truly so nice.. I was very surprised Kacchan.." he whispered and turned to me as I glanced at him. He spent hours with her, and he looks like he had so much fun.. he looks happy..
I'm glad he's not hurt, I'm glad she didn't do anything to him but show him kindness.. but she's taking him away from me.. and I don't like it..

Shes not staying.. I hope he doesn't get attached just because she's nice.. I turned and looked at him. "I don't care, I won't marry her, or any princesses."
I have no interest in any of the princesses. I don't care if they're perfect, or beautiful, or the definition of a goddess. I don't want it.
"Oh.." he mumbled with a small nod. He seems disappointed.. I shouldn't feel this way. I feel so dumb. I wonder if he is interested in her.. maybe he wants her to stay cause she's nice to him, does he think she likes him- does she like my servant? Does he like her? She doesn't seem to appear to be interested in me. I hate this feeling. I hate this. I huffed a bit and closed my eyes. "Night Deku.." This'll be the worst sleep of my life. I hate everything..
"Nigh' Nigh' Kacchan.."
I don't hate you..

Goodnight Izuku.. I hope you sleep well tonight..