The Hidden Servant

Chapter Fourty-Two: Regret

(Pov change)
(Part 1 of 4)
Recap: I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard something clatter and shatter. I glanced up a bit and it was the plate of food. "Fucking starve then!" He walked to the bathroom and slammed the door.

I looked at the mess and sighed. This mess is also my fault..

I grabbed a rag and the broom, and a small bag. I got down on my knees and gently picked up the larger pieces of glass from the plate, I cut my finger, but it healed faster than it could bleed, there's still a sting as if it's still there, but there's no cut.. the princess truly is amazing..
I quickly swept and picked up the mess; the shower in the bathroom was on, so I can assume Kacchan is showering. So I grabbed him some clothes and sat them on his bed.
After I finished I sat in the stairwell, I don't want to be in the room when he gets out.. I don't think he wants me in there actually.. he's really angry at me.. it's my fault though.. I should've done better..
I rested my self against the wall and picked at my fingers, it didn't matter if I picked until I bled because it just healed immediately.. I could scratch, pick, and cut my skin and it doesn't matter anymore.. it heals without scars.. it's not like I needed anymore anyways..

I closed my eyes and tucked my head down. I'll go back in once he's calmed down.. I'd assume that'd be in a couple hours.. maybe after his shower..? No I shouldn't. I just need to wait..
Ah.. I don't want to talk to him.. I don't want to talk at all right now.. I.. I'm so stupid..
—

I heard the shower turn off and listened as he slammed the bathroom door open, and the rustling of clothes as he got dressed. He's clearly still angry so I shouldn't go in there..
I listened to his bed creak, so I assume he's going to read his book.. I'll wait a couple minutes. Before I go in.. he's always calmer when he's reading.. but I'll let him get in the zone first.

I tapped my feet gently against the stairs listening to the gentle echo, I made a little beat.. it's a pretty sound.. while waiting for Kacchan I was able to calm down as well.
I don't know how long it had been, but it surely had been way over a couple of minutes.
So I decided that I could go back inside.. I'm sure Kacchan had calmed down as well. Or he was at least distracted with his book.
I stood up and dusted myself off and opened the door, before I could even step inside-
"Get the fuck out!!"
I was wrong.
I looked at him as he was sat on his bed, he wasn't doing anything.. I clenched my jaw, the ache in my throat came back, and tears welled up.
"Don't look at me like that! Get the fuck out!!" He screamed dragging is voice out. He was really really angry with me.. god I'm so pitiful..
I couldn't blink the tears away this time, they just spilled right over like a boiling pot,
I exhaled shakily and closed the door gently.
I'm not going to wait by his door this time.. I walked down the stairs, to the kitchen where I grabbed a small woven bag and put three apples in it. And then I walk to the back hall that led to the back of the castle. I walked out the door, and started my way to our old hide out area he showed me. Will he be pissed I'm out here? Yes definitely. But it's not like I have my own room to wait in anymore. My old one was taken by a new servant.
Besides, this'll give time for Kacchan to calm down.. so I'm giving him his space. I made my way through the trees into the small gorgeous open patch of grass. And I sat down. I exhaled again, my tears haven't stopped flowing. They won't stop at all.. maybe I should go back and wait in the stairwell- no.. what if he decides to leave his room and is mad I'm there. I don't think he even wants to look at me..
I gasp slightly for air as more tears fall, why does it hurt so much?.. I wish he would just tolerate me in his room.. no- no.. I understand his anger.. I was being annoying..
I huffed and wiped my tears, but more fell.
I laid in the grass. I'm going to take this time for myself..

Katsuki's Pov:
Starting from Katniss Kiyama
part 1:
"I'm making you lunch today right?"
"No, you can eat with us today, but can you hurry up already. I'm hungry." I sighed watching Deku tediously hustle as he got ready. He's so slow. God- not only that but he started cleaning right after he finished getting ready. I sighed and let him do his job. Once he got to, what I thought was an acceptable point to stop, I told him it was clean enough, and that we should go eat finally.
"But.. But what if she doesn't think so..?" He mumbled self consciously stepping half way out of the bathroom fiddling with a rag in his hands. He's cute when he's nervous or self conscious.
But who cares what the bitch thinks. She not staying here anyways. I hate these princesses. And I hate this one too. I don't have to know her to know.

"What are you talking about? She's not going to stay here anyways. If she doesn't like it, she'll have to get over it, besides, I think it's looks fine, isn't that enough?" I glanced at him.
I tried reassuring him, but I don't even care what the bathroom looks like as long as it's decent. And anything Deku does, is done well.
I opened the door "So? let's go."
He did his quick little nod and ran into the bathroom, probably to set the rag down, but I heard the sink turn on so I just left him. I took my time though so he could catch up. Once I heard he was right behind me I walked a bit faster.
As we were making our way down I heard him sigh, there's always something going on in his head, always in some sort of LaLa land. He has so much to say in his head but so little to say out loud. Makes me wonder.
I stopped and turned to look at him. I scanned his scarred face,
"Hm..? You ok?.." he mumbled. I exhaled and turned around continuing my way to the dining room. I stopped just before the door and turned to Deku. I took my cape off carefully and gently placed it around his shoulders. I'm marking what's mine.
"Why?" He asked confused.

But he doesn't get an answer.

"Shut up." I put my hand on his head gently and ruffled his hair. It's soft.
I turned and we walked into the dining room. We waited for fucking ever for this bitch to finally walk in as her and my stupid birth giver talked up a storm. If my mom likes her I know I won't. I hate her even more now..
I glance to the side at Deku as he looks at the bitch in utter awe. How annoying.. I glance at the princess, and she's.. she's nothing special.. but, I look at Deku as he hasn't pulled his eyes away yet. What's so special about her? You're just a servant why do you look at her like that. The princess greeted me, I acknowledged it, but I don't care, she smiles at me. Put your teeth away, you matter not, to me bitch.
I can feel Deku gaze at me, I wonder whats going on in his head right now. I can see him in my peripherals before he looks away and eats.
The princess and my birth giver continue talking up a damn hurricane. Everytime the princess says something my mother likes she fucking looks at me with that ugly ass cheeky grin. I don't give a fuck what she wants. So I'd just glance at Deku instead. I'm glad he's eating..
During lunch the princess didnt even try making conversation with either of us. So I'll take it as a token to leave with my token.
I nudged Dekus shoulder letting him know that it was time for us to leave.
My mother did her little parting speech and left. Which means I can leave. "Deku let's go" I left immediately expecting him to follow. He did not.
"I can show you to his room"
"That would be lovely"
Please die. Disrespectfully. I don't want her in my room. Damnit.
Once I got to my room I closed the door and took my shoes off by the end of my bed. Deku often puts my shoes there, so I'll make it easier for him. I moved a pillow and sat against the headboard of my bed grabbing a book from my bedside table. I read to pass time quicker, I used to leave to do my own thing, but I can't trust Deku alone anymore.. he just can't take care of himself. Sometime I'll take him when he's healthier than he is now.. But for now I'm just going to try and help him..

"Have you toured the castle yet ma'am?" He was muffled through the door. He opened it as the princess walked through before him. "You can address me as Katniss, I don't mind. And no I have not, would you show me around."
He glanced over to me then turned his attention towards her.
I'd like him to say no, but I know he can't.. But hopefully he's quick.
"Of course"
I wish my mother would get someone else to show the princesses around.

I can see them in my peripherals as I keep my focus towards my book.
She walked further into my room then towards my book shelves.
"Oh wow, there's quite a collection of books."
She turned to Deku "do you like books Izuku?"
"M-me?" He stuttered closing the door. "Uhm.. I don't know. I don't really r-read to often.. I-I mean.. I used to hang out in the library here but there wasn't a whole lot a could read.."
He looked embarrassed, he got so excited when I brought up showing him the library before. I know he used to hang out in there cause he told me, but can he not read well?.. should I teach him.. hm.. he's asked before but I told him no.. I'll think about it..
"I see"
Shut up bitch.
"Do you like books L- Katniss?"
He's uncomfortable addressing her informally.
"Oh, I love books! The art of the fictional world is just so beautiful!"
She walked closer to my bookshelf and looked through them as if she asked if she could. I wish she wouldn't touch my shit. She picked out a book and rambled about how cool it was. I stared at her, I was rather annoyed, but she hasn't done anything wrong yet so I can't do anything.. I'm burning that book after she leaves. I glanced at Deku who appeared insecure.
She set the book down, "So Izuku, mind showing me around now?"
Stop using his name.
"Oh, of course."
I glanced at Deku, "Be quick"
She took a book with her. I'll burn that one too.
I hope she doesn't return with him.
And with that Deku nodded at me and left. I'm glad he listens to me well.. he does everything well. Except take care of himself.. I need to be diligent with his self care.. I know I'm his priority, I know it's his job to work for me, but he could at least recognize that he also exists. He has a beating heart too..