Kingdom of Life and Death (The Fifth Element Chronicles)

Chapter 10 "Into the depths" [part 1]

My feelings for Russell were complicated.

I still felt the primal innocent love of those days where my life seemed to be just being by his side, going to the lake, and laughing as we ate dinner. Everything was so simple. He was my first love, and always would be. No one would ever take that away from him. No one would ever take that away from us.

But then I met Caelus.

He changed the perspective I had on love, turned it completely around.

And now, whenever I compared feelings for one or the other, I couldn't deny it.

The love I had for Caelus was different, unlike any other.

Maybe loving Russell like that would be easier, but the heart sometimes didn't understand reason.

The problem was that he had been caught in the memory of that love, he had not been able to move on. I was no longer the girl he remembered, and I could never be again.

But how could I say that to someone I still loved? 

Only I didn't love him the way he wanted me to love him.

I continued the embrace, until he felt he should let go of me.

He was quick to notice, however, that I didn't feel at ease.

'I wanted to surprise you, you look ...' he murmured letting go of me.

'I am surprised,' I said not knowing what else to say. 'I don't understand though. I thought you would stay and train with Frederick, that the time together would be good for you both.'

'I know, and it was. But I felt you would need me here. So when I heard Polar was coming, I came along.'

Polar appeared behind him, walking slowly, adjusting his shirt before bowing to me.

He never lost respect for me, as I never lost respect for him.

'It's true, he insisted on coming, your Majesty, he was very persistent,' Polar told me, calm and collected, as he always was. I had only seen him angry once before, when he had to defend me from Aurora, and I suspect it was a one-time thing.

'I didn't know you were coming either, Polar,' I replied and saw the confusion in his look.

'Last night, after we agreed to come to Anapos, I opened a portal to the Lost Kingdom to ask Polar to join us. Rayn has a complicated issue on Anapos and I thought if we were all together it would be easier for him. Of course, I told only him to come. Only him,' Caelus told me.

'I wish you had told me everything before.'

'Sure, next time I'll come pay you a visit in your chambers while you're sleeping, because that sounds like a good idea.'

We just stared at each other, an entire conversation between our eyes. I couldn't stop connecting with him. It was impossible. Even though I knew he was right, I wished he would have told me. I didn't like the feeling of being surprised and also not knowing exactly what was Rayn's thing.

'Be careful how you talk to her, she's a royal,' Russell interjected.

To him, in his eyes, Caelus was just a pirate who was surely using me for his own gain, just as I saw him when I first met him.

But he wasn't like that, he was far from that.

'How nice, you finally remember she's royalty. Hopefully next time you'll remember her name is Gaia. Did you hear that big boy? GAIA.'

'Caelus, please, don't,' I said touching his shoulder.

It was as if physical contact was impossible for us to control, at least for me.