She May Not Belong to One of Us, but She Belongs to All of Us

Chapter 28

MELISSA POV

I have no real experience or expectations to base tonight off. It's my first date and while I may be naive, I'm not stupid enough to base this date or any date for that matter, off of what movies show. Truly there's no real handbook for being taken by five gang members and then kinda, sorta falling for two of them. However, for my first ever date this is pretty good. I'm with a gorgeous hunk of man who is unbelievably sexy and practically dripping sex appeal, in a luxurious restaurant. Not to mention the outfit and make-up Amelia so graciously helped me pick out today.

As I sit here across from him, staring at every piece of him, it's so easy to understand the women in the mansion. It would be all too honest to say that Shadows is just a walking and breathing muscle factory and how many women can truly say they don't desire that. But in all actuality that's not all women saw or wanted when it came to him. It was his cute little dimples when he smiled, even though he mostly only smirked. It was the bad boy twinkle in his eyes that ignited something damn near primal in a woman. Most profoundly it was the fact that you knew he was going to fuck the absolute shit out of you and you could not do a single thing about it.

"So how are you enjoying the mansion?"

"I'm enjoying it quite nicely actually."

"How are you settling in though? Like with all the changes and people. I'm sure it must be a stark change from what you're used to."

Immediately I could see the shame on his face. Most would see the comment as a terrible reminder to my upbringing but I knew this man well enough that this could quite possibly be the first time he has ever had to conversation with a woman that he didn't have every intention of fucking within the next 5 minutes.

"Very true. I'm getting along okay enough I think. It has mostly been a long process of getting know who the fuck I am. With everything going on, I kind of have to take time alone and just figure it out you know. I get scared that if I'm around someone too long that I'll just start taking on their personality. I don't want to just become a copy of someone else. I want to actually become my own person. It is such a tricky path to be on. Constantly wanting to be close to people and still not able to truly dive into other people because I don't want to lose myself on the way down."

Nodding I knew that he probably would never really understand my dilemma. Honesty who in the hell would ever truly understand me. This was a fucked up situation of epic proportions. Yet one pushes through and muscles her way through life. Slowly I see a hand extend its way to meet mine on the table. Of course with his long limbs, it looks like he's barely making any effort to stretch while I'm sure I would've looked like I was mounting the table. The soft embrace was welcomed, a happy ease of some of the tension.

"There really is no way for this to ever be normal is there?"

A bubbling laugh broke from both of our lips. In all truth, he was completely right. Though that small fact helped me realize that maybe we needed to stop tiptoeing and trying to make this normal. Maybe if we did this our own way, as unconventional and weird as that is, it might be a better experience for both of us.

"How about we stop trying to be normal?"

A swift look of confusion crossed his beautiful face.

"What do you mean?"

"Let's stop trying to act like either of us is normal or even this situation is normal. I was your hostage up until last week it feels and you have never had a prolonged conversation with a woman without having sex with her since you hit puberty I assume. How about we stop trying to go through this date like we're normal and just exist as we are."

Understanding washed over him and it was clear that he understood what I meant. This date was awkward enough without all the pretense of this needing to go well. We live together and will live together for the foreseeable future, no need to add the pressure of making this date perfect or super romantic.