Homestar Saga

Chapter 31: Secrets

"Are you sure you want to take us to your secret base?" Lissa asked, glowering. "Mr. I'll Only Tell You When It's Relevant."

"My handlers won't like it," the human admitted. "There's a chance they'll try to kill you. If you don't want to take the risk, you can stay on the Ancillary and I'll go alone in the Encounter."

"Why are we taking the Ancillary, anyway?" Yvian asked. "The Encounter's faster."

"I didn't want to leave her at Migo's shipyard after what happened with the Paradigm," Mims explained, "Also, we can't access the Nex outside of the Confed, so we can't remote access her once we leave. Ancillary's a good support ship. I'd rather keep her with us."

"Are we seriously not going to talk about this?" Lissa interrupted. "You lied to us."

"I did not lie." Lissa opened her mouth to speak again, but the Captain raised a hand to forestall her. "But I would." Lissa blinked, confused. "I'll lie to both of you if my reasons are good enough. I won't do it lightly, but I will if I need to."

The Captain leaned forward, addressing Lissa. "You're angry because you don't feel trusted. I understand. I do. But you're wrong. Right now, the recorders in your voidarmor hold undeniable proof that I am a spy for the most hated nation in the verse. If the Confederation learns of such a thing, they won't just kill me. They'll start a war of extinction with humankind. You don't just hold my life in your hands, Lissa. You hold the lives of my entire species. And that's not even counting what we've done with the Xill, what we're doing now" He reached out, placing a hand on Lissa's shoulder. His eyes softened, face still grim. "You are not the one that cannot be trusted, Lissa." He released her, eyes hardening again. "I am."

Lissa stared at him. "Mark..."

The human continued: "I have secrets. A lot of them. Some I'll tell you. Some I won't. You want to know if you can trust me? You can't." He picked up his coffee. "Not completely. Not the way I trust you." He turned the cup in his hands, then set it down, meeting Lissa's eyes, than Yvian's. " I'm a privateer. A killer for hire. Secrets and lies are part of the life. That won't change no matter how much I...no matter how important you are to me."

"Mark, are..." Lissa glower had been replaced with confusion, hurt. Her eyes were moist. "Are you saying...?"

"I'm just trying to be as honest as I can," Mims told her. "For what it's worth, I am sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." He stood abruptly, gathering dishes to take to the sink. "If you want out, I'll understand. You can take the Ancillary. If you want to stay on the crew, but end our relationship, I'll try to accommodate you. I can't guarantee I can keep things professional, but I will try."

Lissa stared for a moment, tears dangerously close to falling. She wiped her eyes and said, "Mark, you dumbass. You should have lead with that." She got up and hugged him from behind. He set down his dishes and clasped his hands over hers. "So. How long were you working on that speech, anyway."

"Some secrets I'll tell you," he said. "Some I won't."

"Ok, then tell me a secret." She let go of the human and went back to the table, smiling.

"I am filthy stinking rich."

"I already know that one," she chided. gathering up her plate. "Tell me a better one."

Mims considered. "When we first met, I was more interested in Yvian that I was in you."

Yvian's eyes widened. Did he just...?

Lissa's eyes narrowed. "You were what?"

Ten minutes later found them back on the bridge. "You were using wiles on me," Mims explained. The ship's computer counted the Jumpdrive's progress in the background. "It was off-putting. Yvian was more...earnest."