Don de Santos

34. No Way

CASH

"No way!" I say as I pace back and forth.

"Yes way, man! You have to do it," River replies firmly.

"I will not change my name and my life for freedom."

"You can't have everything after what happened."

"So you're telling me that when I marry your sister, her husband's name won't be Cash?

Rafa glares at me and shakes his head. "That is the only thing you are worried about?"

"Look, man, I just want to find a way to get rid of this thing without changing my whole life. Not only my name will change, but also, I have to change my appearance," I try to explain.

"Look, I will try to find another way since your crime is not murder like your dumb brother," he replies.

"Speaking of Alex, have you found him?"

"No, and I really don't care about him."

I look down in shame, knowing that what happened will always follow me. Rafael and Manuel will never forget that my own blood betrayed them.

"Don't do this, man, you know I don't blame you, right?" Rafa pats my shoulder.

"I know...it is just...hard," I reply, still not looking up.

"Hold your head up. You didn't do anything wrong, brother."

I slowly look up at him and smile. Rafael has been the only person who stood by me after my brother. He was and is the only person whom I trust. Even when I went to jail, Rafael was against the plan. He didn't want Alex and me to do that, but we insisted. We would do anything for him and his family, our family.

"Thanks for always sticking around, man," I say, patting him back on the shoulder.

"Always. Remember 8th grade?" he says and I grin with a nod.

"How could I forget?"

In 8th grade, I accidentally spilled water on an 11th grader. He and his friends ganged up on me and wanted to beat me up, but Rafael came out of nowhere and fought with them. Not going to lie, Rafael was pretty messed up that night, but at least, the other boys were worse. The positive thing about Rafael's anger issues in the past was that it came in handy sometimes, and at that time, it definitely came in handy. Let us just say, those 11th graders never dared to look down on anyone anymore.

"That best time of our lives," Rafa comments.

"I agree. I wish we could just go back and never get old."

"Me too."

Nighttime is possibly the worst time for me. I can't stand the darkness, it makes me feel claustrophobic for a reason that is not known to me. Maybe because of something that happened when I was younger and don't remember now, but I repeatedly dream about things from my childhood. I am unsure if it is just a dream or a memory, but my gut tells me it is the latter.

I don't remember anything from my childhood, especially before the age of ten.

My mind drifts off to Alba when I near my bedroom. She slept in my bed yesterday, and I hope she is still inside.

Twisting the handle, I push the door open and step inside.

The room is lightened by the sunlight while the lights are turned off. My eyes immediately fall on the bed, and a smile stretches on my lips.

Alba is lying peacefully as her little snores echo through the silent room. She doesn't snore loudly as I do, and I only found out about it when she kicked me a few times at night to shut me up.

That was embarrassing, but I don't mind getting embarrassed in front of her. Only her.

I lay on the bed beside her and look at her as I wait for her to wake up. A part of me tells me that she is already awake, but I don't want to make a fool of myself and call her out on it when she would, in fact, be sleeping.

After nine minutes, she slowly opens her eyes and winces as the sun hit her.

Her hand finds its way to her face and covers her eyes as she groans.

"Close the curtains!" she yells, hitting me in the arm with her other hand.

I stand up swiftly to close it, but I stumble and almost fall down trying to reach the damn curtain.

"Fuck this shit," I mumble.

I close the curtains and go back to my original place. She is still in bed and only when I closed the curtains does she open her eyes and look at me.

"Good morning," I say with a grin.

She looks at me as if I offended her and scoffs. "Good morning."

"You woke up on the wrong side of the bed?" I ask hesitantly.

"More like woke up on the wrong bed," she replies as she sits up.

"Well, you came in last night."

"I know, dumbass."

"Why the violence, my love?" I ask with a pout.

She glares at me and finally smiles. "I like it when you call me that."

"Call you what?" I tease her.

"That..."

"What?"

"I know now why Rafael gets mad at you," she says.

"Oh, come on!"

"You are infuriating!" she yells.

"But you love me?"

"A lot." She grins and kisses my cheek. "I'll brush my teeth, take a shower, and come back here."

"Do you want me to join you?" I joke, knowing very well that she will not agree.

However!

She looks at me with inviting eyes and motions for me by lifting her eyebrows. "Why not?"

As if a kid on his birthday who just got a lot of presents, I speed walk to her bedroom, arriving before her.

But when she told me to join her in the bathroom, I definitely didn't think to stand outside the shower, with my back to her, as I look ahead at the door. And I definitely didn't know that she would be describing each and every detail about what was she doing in the shower while I stood looking at the door, feeling pain all over.

"This is unfair."

"Well, this is what you will get for now. You could wait outside if you want."

"No! I am good like this."

"Good."