Dying Stars

Chapter XXIV

RYUJIN

".... but your Dad started giving me letters."

Mom hold my hand so tight, "When your Dad started telling me what happened to you, I was wishing God to put me in hell and help you all the way he can. I was desperate of undoing what I'd done to you, I thought that I can live the life I chose but the picture of you suffering was everyday hunting me. I didn't know that this is the consequence of it. I thought you'll be all fine."

I also hold Mom's hand then I felt a scars on her wrist when I looked into it, Mom pulled her hand and stand up, she went to the kitchen and asked me,

"I already told you everything, I don't really expect you to forgive me or treat me like your Mother, All I want is nothing but your safety and future. You can have everything I have when I died."

She was about to give me water but I pulled her hand and the water spilled on the floor and the same as the glass, the glass was broken and it made a noise that made Auntie come inside and Yeji was standing and looking at me through the window.

Mom says, "Honey, don't come any closer, this is between me and my Daughter." Auntie stopped. "You're hurting your Mom's hand, it's getting red now." She said.

I dropped her hand and asked her, "Is it because of me?"

"I was young, I want to end the pain.... but it was all nothing now...I just keep on thinking that I still have you so why would I do that? I want you to be rich in the future--"

She was hurting herself, I can't believe that I judged her the way I forget that she was once my Mother and if you ask me if I had a bad relationship with her when I was young? None.

My doubts were cleared.

My Mom loves me.

"Mom? Do you want to hug me?" I asked.

Mom suddenly hugged me so tight and she started crying that it made me shed tears, I never knew that when you hear your Mom crying her heart out, it can also make you cry.

"My Daughter... My Child....."

My hands are slowly reaching my Mom's back and when my fingertips linked to her back, I also hugged her tighter. The feelings of a Mom's hand touching your hair, her breathing in your ears, her tears on your shoulder, her kisses on your cheeks,

I never knew this is a Mother's love.

Mom keeps on crying for hours.

And if I'm being honest, I have this feeling that why would I forgive her instantly when Dad and I suffered for a long time together and she's not here right by my side, she chose herself, her own happiness.

I am still looking for a final answer, an answer that would open my eyes and my thoughts for people like Mom, people who will leave something to achieve the greatest life.

Mom cried for hours, Auntie helped her already and after a while, Mom started moving like she has a hundred visitors.

It was getting dark already, Mom showed me my bed and she asked, "Do you want a solo bedroom or do you want that Girl to be in the same room with you?" Mom is giving me that look, she knew there was something going on between us.

"The first one, Mom."

Mom hold my hand and smiled at me, she keeps on kissing me on my cheeks and Auntie smiled at us, "Honey, let Ryujin sit outside, let's have a bonfire."

I went outside and I saw Yeji putting the woods in the middle of the circled chairs, "Ryujin," She said while she was looking into my eyes. I smiled at her, walked close to her, and helped her put the woods, Yeji keeps on staring at me.