The Alphas Guard

Chapter 49 - Filler

I swallowed, a shiver running down my spine.

"Talk to me, boy. Let it out. All this frustration is not good. You need to talk," Alpha Bilal ushered, "I am going through the same thing - I will understand you,"

I exploded.

Like a ticking time bomb.

I let it all out.

"My soul is incomplete. A chunk of it has gone missing with Leila," I palmed my chest, jaw clenching with the pain that accompanied my heart, "It's just- Alpha Bilal, I don't know how to phrase it other than that. Every second I spend with a being that's not her is a second I spend mourning that they're alive and she's gone," I let out a quivering breath, throat clogging with emotions I grew accustomed to, "Ever since Lara moved to the North, I have become a lonely king. One that drowns himself in work and liquor,"

"Leila despised alcohol," He said, "In fact, it is completely banned in the north. Anyone found possessing alcohol would have to pay a hefty fine,"

"Really?"

"Really. Ever since she was young, she would judge the westerners that visited us who came drunk off their boots and ask, 'Father, how could someone live a happy life if all of their happy moments are made true with the sip of a drink?',"

"That sounds very much like her," A sad smile made its way to my lips and forced my eyes to look down, "It's been 5 years and I cannot get her eyes out of my head. They're all I see when I'm not looking at papers, and they're all I think of when I'm not working,"

"She had Haya's eyes," It was Alpha Bilal's turn to look down, "Her mother's eyes were just as bright as her's," He began fidgeting with his tan fingers, "In many ways, Leila was just like her mother. So strong on the outside but so soft on the inside. You should, however, never mistake the softness of her soul as weakness. It was what made both of those women the absolute warriors they were,"

"Was Leila's mother also a warrior?"

"No," He shook his head, "She was a housewife, one with big dreams and standards as high as the moon,"

We were silent for a while, both recalling the beautiful memories we once had with Leila Bilal Haddad. For the first time in 5 decades of full moons, the weight settling atop my heart lessened in its volume. For the first time in a while, I was not mourning alone.

Bilal was the first to break the silence.

"What did Leila think of me?" Bilal ran his hands down his face, "Please, do not sugar coat it. I want honesty from your end,"

I sighed, eyeing him for a beat before I began.

"She loved you. That was for sure. She would have taken an arrow in the heart for you at any time of the day. Before she found out you were alive, she spoke of you as though you were the warrior of all warriors, that you were the man who made her who she was. It's just-" I gulped, unable to face the sadness swarming his brown orbs, "She didn't think you loved her as much as you love your- your new family. When we had dinner at your palace, she told me she did not feel at home. She felt foreign – that you had disposed of her,"

"Oh goddess," Bilal shut his reddening eyes.

"Why did you not look for her as much as you should have?" I asked, "I don't mean to pry, but I've always-"

"When our previous Alpha was pronounced dead, the entire pack voted me to be their new leader. Never in a million years would I have ever thought that they wanted me as their new king," He spoke, voice raspy, "After finding out Leila had disappeared, I ordered as many willing soldiers as I could to look out for her. I could not force the men that had just lost their entire families to put their lives in danger once more – so I did not command them. We organized search parties for weeks, and our numbers were low, as you can imagine with a pack who had just undergone a war. 4 weeks in, I decided I was ready to bury Haya. When I went back into my old cottage and saw that the door to the tunnel my grandfathers grandfather had dug out was open, I just knew she was in the outskirts,"