Unforeseen Resolutions (Complete)

Chapter Twenty-three

Alex POV

No. No? No!

The simple two letter word plays on repeat in my head. Had I gone into that room planning to ask her to marry me? No. Had I thought about it? Yes. Had I even gone as far as to buy a ring…yes. I didn’t have it on me at the time because I had no idea those words would come out of my mouth at that very moment. But never in my mind did I ever think she would say “no.”

I didn’t know what to do or say after so I left. I told her I would be back later but I needed to think. I don’t know why she didn’t say yes. Does she even know why? I mean I thought we loved each other. I want to be with her and Xander and get a home for us. I want all of us to be together. Maybe after everything she doesn’t want me anymore. Did she only get back together with me because of Xander? Does she want to separate? She has been through so much I couldn’t blame her, no matter how much pain it would cause me. Now that I think about it…after she almost died, nothing could be worse. If she doesn’t want me it would hurt but if she’s happy.

“Hey you’re home.”

James snaps me out of my thoughts. I turn my head and see James and Cassie coming in the door as I just stand in our living room.

“Are you here for the night or just picking up some things?” Cassie asks as she smiles at me.

“We were going to order something. At least stay for dinner.” James urges me.

I think about it. As much as I want to get back to Anna I know she needs some time too. So with little energy I nod and agree to stay.

James walks off to order dinner and Cassie disappears into James' bedroom. I am once again left to my thoughts. But not for long. When they return the two of them carry the discussions all evening. That however is no different than most days. I have never been a very chatty person. After dinner James cleans everything up.

“So why so quiet?” Cassie asks me.

I guess my lack of conversation has been noticed.

“I don’t really want to talk about it.” I tell her.

“Is everything ok with Anna and Xander?” She asks in concern.

I sigh. “They are both fine.”

“So what are you doing here? It’s obviously not to catch up.” James asks as he walks back into the living room.

“Like I said, I don't want to talk about it.” I snap at them this time.

They go quiet. I groan.

“I’m sorry. I just…it’s been a long day.” I fall back into the couch.

“It’s ok. We understand. You have a lot going on and a lot on your shoulders right now. Just let us know what we can do. For either one of you.” James pats me on the shoulder.

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It’s not really late but it’s long after dark by the time I get back to Anna’s parents’ house. Most of the lights are off but the kitchen light is on. I figure she left it on for me to see when I got back. I walk into the kitchen to turn off the light and stop when I see Anna standing at the counter.

“I thought everyone would be asleep at this time.”

She looks up at me. I can instantly tell she’s been crying. I make my way to her side.

“I couldn’t sleep…I didn’t know if you were going to come back.”

I fight the deep urge to hold her but I don’t know if that’s what she wants anymore.

“I said I would be back. I went home. James and Cassie asked me to stay for dinner. Then I went for a drive. I’m sorry it’s so late.”

“It’s ok, my parents and Xander just went down about a half hour ago.”

“You should be sleeping. He will be up in a couple hours.”

I couldn’t fight the urge anymore. I reach out and cup her face, my thumb running across her cheek. Just under her red, tear swollen eyes.

“You’ve been crying.”

It’s not a question, just a simple statement.

“I’m so sorry.” Her voice breaks and I pull her to my chest.

“Don’t be.” I try to console her.

I lift her up, bridal style, and carry her to the couch. Afraid if we went into her room we would wake Xander. I sit down and place her on my lap. I quietly hold her.

“I still love you.”

“I know. I love you too.” I tell her.

“I don’t want you to leave me.” she whispers like she’s afraid to even speak the words.

I pull her away from my chest and look her in the eyes.

“Baby, I don’t want to leave you. I asked because I want us to be together.”

“I just thought because I said no…”

“That changes nothing unless you want me to leave. Since the beginning it has always been your choice to be with me. I was such a cold teacher and so scared of the consequences in the beginning. You could have so easily changed your mind and moved on. I made the choice a long time ago to be with you and I have never regretted it.”

“I’m just not ready, but I don’t want to lose what we have.” I can tell she is on the brink of tears.

“If you’re not ready then we will wait. I am in no rush. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

I kiss her on the forehead and we go quiet. It’s not long before she falls asleep in my arms. Both of us, physically and emotionally exhausted.