Chapter One

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"Oh hell no! Get up and get dressed!" Sadie comes barging into my room. 

I groan as I roll over and look at her.

“What part of not replying to your text says come pick me up?” 

“Come on, you haven’t gone out with us in forever. Now get dressed, we are going out! You can sip on a soda and be the DD for anyone who does drink. But you are going!” 

“Get up!” Dorian shouts from the doorway. 

I look up at him and he is dressed in his usual black jeans and t-shirt. But his hair is done also so I know he plans to go out too. I squint at him as I get up.

"Traitor!"

"All we do is hang out at the house every weekend. Especially since classes started. My mom has Makena tonight so we are going out!"

"Fine."

I shove Sadie and Dorian out of my bedroom to get changed. 

"Put this on." Sadie tosses a dress at me before the door shuts. 

I hold the dress out and sigh. I know she wont let me leave this house without putting it on. So I put it on, do some light makeup, and put on my flats. God knows I'm not going out to dance in heels. I look at myself in the mirror. I look nice but nothing special. Why should I? It's not like I'm trying to grab anyone's attention or impress anybody. 

When I walk out of my room I see the gang's all here. Sadie, Reign, Lily and Crystal are waiting in the living room. 

"Where's…?" 

I don't finish my question when Dorian comes walking out of his bedroom. 

"Alright let's go!" He cheers. 

It doesn't take us long to get to the "club." It's really just a restaurant with a dance floor but it's very popular with the underage high school and college crowd. And in the evenings Thursday thru Saturday the place is pretty much just that age group. We walk in and I smirk at Dorian. He loves it. Arriving with five women will do that to an ego. We find a table and order dinner, but we all know we're really here to dance! 

I try to relax and have fun. It's easy to do when you are surrounded by so many great friends. We all grew really close over the summer. Some of us closer than others.

I think back to my return shortly after Hunter’s graduation. I however try not to think about Alex because it will just sour the evening. I was required to return for the  school board hearings about my allegations against Professor Sabah. Lily and Dorian also had to be present as witnesses. The dorms were closed and with Alex’s apartment no longer an option Dorian offered for me to stay with him. 

The whole reason we had to stop at his house and I met Makena and his mother was so he could cosign leasing papers. He now has a three bedroom house about ten minutes from campus. He got it so Makena could live with him here. She goes to Preschool every day he has classes. 

Crystal pulls my hand and drags me out to the dance floor with everyone else. She was another surprise over the summer. Whether it was seeded from guilt or confidence in herself, Crystal made a speech at one of the school board hearings. She told them what he had done to her and even had others with her. Some girls showed up in person and others sent in written testimonies. By the end of it he was fired. Some of the assaults were so recent they were able to arrest him as well.  

Everyone pairs off and starts dancing with each other. I smile at Reign as we bounce and sway to the music. She leans into me.

"I'm glad you came out."

"I'm glad I did too!"

"I'm going to go pee." She shouts in my ear a few minutes later.

"Ok" 

I follow her, because everyone knows you stay in pairs, buddy system and all. We talk as we wait for the bathroom to open up. She is practically doing a potty dance like Makena. When the door opens she rushes in and the lady and I laugh at her. 

After a few minutes of standing alone in the dimly lit hallway Reign comes back out.

"Sorry, I probably shouldn't have just left you out here alone." She apologizes. 

"No worries." Hiding the fact it was a bit unnerving. 

I smile and grab her hand, hurrying back to the table. We take our seats with everyone else and grab a drink to cool off from the dance floor. I down more than half of my glass of water. After what happened last school year I don't drink, especially in public. I don't even take the risk and only drink water when we go out. Honestly I have learned I am a very flirty drunk and have accepted alcohol is just not my thing. I have probably had three drinks in total since Hunter’s graduation "party" when he allowed me to test the effects. 

Dorian bumps his shoulder into mine and smiles down at me. 

"Having fun?" He smirks.

I roll my eyes. "Yes, thank you for making me come." 

"You needed it. Don't get me wrong, I love our movie, game nights but we have plenty of time for that. We are still in college. We should act like it and enjoy it when we can." 

He wraps his arms around me and hugs me. I know he is right and hopefully I'll get there again. I smile and agree to have fun. 

It's well after midnight when I am able to crawl back into my bed. I take my journal off the nightstand and stare at the cover. It's simple in its design, made to look old and vintage. I look up at my bookshelves at my other journals. Specifically the brown leather bond one, that I put away, unfinished, about four months ago. Using it was hard and I needed a new start. When I found this one in the book store I fell in love with it. I open it and start writing down about my day and the great time I had out tonight. 

When I'm done, just like every night, I feel a sadness and a desire to reach out to Alex. I miss him. I miss our nightly calls. Over the past few months the distance has grown between us to the point we go weeks without talking. Part of me wants him to be thinking about me and rushing to call me. But a part of me feels guilty, I don't want him waiting around and missing out on things. Then I get jealous and upset at the thought of him moving on without me. Just like every night I fight with myself on whether or not I should bother him. 

Like a lot lately, I end my night alone, missing him, and wondering have we made the best decisions.

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