𝐼 𝐶𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝐴𝑛𝑦𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒

chapter twenty-two

I had regretted going home to Alejandro but I needed to talk, we needed to talk. After yesterday it was important and it was going to hurt worse than I thought yes but...we needed to talk. We did.

Stepping through the front door, I expected him to be at work but he's sitting on the couch, watching a movie. I could feel confidence rise in my body, feeling better about this already. Taking a deep breath I close the door behind me and his head turns my way, his eyes meeting mine. His hair is shaggy and all over the place, a beautiful sandy mess. His eyes are dark and intense as he eyes me, a questioning look in his eyes.

"What's up?" He spoke and his voice sends a shiver down my spine.

"We need to..talk" I spoke and he shuts off the tv and stands up and I feel my confidence drop as he stands by the couch, leaning over as he faces me.

"What about?" He asked.

"Um....okay" I take a deep breath before I continue.

"What you did was... unacceptable. Slugging my boss and..you hurt me the other day it's..not okay. I love you so much it hurts to even talk about this...but we need too. I think....I think we need a break from each other" I say softly and when the words come out it's both a breath of fresh air and a crumpled piece of my heart. It hurts and yet has to be done...for the both of us.

"Seriously Anna? You're making such a big deal out of this" he rolled his eyes and he isn't taking this as seriously as I thought...

"I am. I cant break up with you because I need you but...if that's what it takes for you to take this seriously I fucking will" I spoke and he turns to eye me, glaring into my eyes. He's angry now, dangerous. His eyes were darkened as he stands up from the couch and makes his way towards me,  grabbing a hold onto my hands.

"Big words coming from someone whose completely under my mercy" he speaks and I tried to pull away but his grip is too strong, too powerful. I'm nothing compared to him and I hate it. I need to go. Right away.

"Let me go" I spoke and he leans down, peering into my eyes.

"I apologized. Okay? I am sorry. But you push me and push me and I resort to options I dont wanna do but have to because of you...." He hissed, gripping my wrists tightly. I felt the sharp pain inflicting on my wrists and I wince, the feeling too strong.

"Let...me...go" I spoke, rasing my eyes to meet his. He shakes his head as he releases me, shaking his head.

"Fine....go. You wanna take a break? Fuck it. Let's take a break okay? Happy?" He laughed and I could feel tears In my eyes but I quickly wiped them away, not wanting him to see he won.

"Okay..." I waited for him to say anything, but..he didn't. He watched me, and didn't say anything.

Closing my eyes I turn away towards the door but before I could move his hand shoots out and grabs my waist, spinning me towards him.

Before I could react his lips are on mine as he pulls me into a rough kiss, his lips hard against mine. I wanted more than anything to press into him, create something more but...this was it. I couldn't...so I pull away and blink at him, confused and heartbroken completely.

"Goodbye Anna" he says and I turn away and leave, not turning around once.

The coffee cup swirls In my hand as I watch the liquid in the cup swish back and forth, over and over. It hurt more than I expected it to but shit did I feel better...in a way.

I hadn't known how long the break was, I didn't really think that far ahead. But I knew it was what we both needed and in order to become better people we needed to take a break to recognize the people we've become...him more than me.

Austin steps inside the diner and sees me, a smile playing on his lips. He was in such a good mood I didn't want to destroy him with my drama bullshit but I knew he would enjoy it...secretly.

"Hey noobie" he smiled as he sat across from me in the booth and I smiled back but it was no use, feeling it fall completely.

"What's wrong?" He asked and I didn't want to cry, not anymore. I couldn't feel like I would, like I was numb to crying. I felt numb....like I couldn't even express how I felt anymore. Is this what it felt like to lose a piece of my heart? Because..it hurt. Fucking hurts.

"We...broke up? Or were...taking a break" I told him and his face falls, sadness filling his eyes.

"I'm really sorry Anna" he seemed genuinely sincere and I give him a nod, appreciating his concern.

"Thanks" I tell him and he studies my eyes before standing up and holding out his arm for mine.

"What are you-"

"Let's go. No moping around...the first day is always the hardest..but not for you. So..get up. We're gonna go have some fun".

By "fun" I didn't know what he meant until he took me to the beach, a beautiful and quiet beach. It was so peaceful and beautiful and the water looked calm and so perfect and all I wanted to do was stay on this beach forever...was that possible?

"Let's take a walk" Austin smiled at me and I nod, following him down the beach.

"Thank you..I actually enjoy the beach" I tell him and close my eyes, rejecting any memories of Alejandro and me at the beach completely. I focused my mind on the beach and being here with a friend and let my mind go completely.