My blood, not yours (Ronance)

There's blood on the floor

TW: SH

The next few hours were excruciatingly long. She felt so numb, like every emotion was drained out of her. Her cheek kept swelling and getting more blue with every second that passed. The numbness started to overwhelm her, but she couldn't cry nor do anything else that required showing emotion. There was a razor blade in the drawer in her bedside table. Robin couldn't stop thinking about it, it was stuck in her head and as the numbness grew the desire for the blade did to. Eventually she gave in and took the razor blade out of the drawer. The girl put the blade on the skin on her forearm and started pressing. She started pressing harder and harder until her forearm was slashed open. It bled badly but that didn't really bother her, the rush of Adrenalin still racing through her veins.

 But when reality hit, Robin started to panic. It currently was 5:28am and she was bleeding all over her room. The blonde remembered what they had learned in Health: Cover the wound with sterile gauze or a clean cloth. Press on it firmly with the palm of your hand until bleeding stops. Robin dug through the second drawer, she remembered putting gauze in there 2 years ago, when it all started getting worse. While following the memorized instructions she starts to sob, the emotions finally crashing down like a truck.  She got worried, the blood didn't stop, it just got less. What if she cut an important artery, the more she thought about it her fears got smaller. If she'd just let it bleed out, maybe she would get freed from all the pain. No, no she can't let that happen. Steve loves her (platonically) and she has friends that care about her. For the sake of her friends she pressed harder, ignoring the stinging pain. Remembering all the happy memories she had helped her get out of the dark mindset. After a bit the bleeding stopped fully and she could think straight again. As soon as she started to think, the only thing that was in her mind were the similarities the Russians and her parents had. Both had tortured her. Maybe in different ways but they still did.  

"Rinse the wound under running tap water for 5 to 10 minutes.", she suddenly remembers her Health teacher saying. She still had a giant gash on her forearm that probably needed stitches. So she got up and walked into her bathroom, good thing it's in her room. The water stung on her fresh wound and a bit of dried blood flowed down the drain. After cleaning the wound she bandaged it and went back to her bed. There were bloodstains all over her bedroom floor. Well, good thing she had wooden flooring. The blood could be easily removed from the floor, without leaving any stains behind. 

When she eventually looked at the clock it read 6:37 am. She hadn't slept a single minute that night. Steve is going to pick her up in an hour but she didn't want to encounter her patents on her way out, therefor she slapped lots of concealer on her bruised face and ran out of her parents house. The girl ran to Steves house, on her way making up excuses why she ran there.

"Robin?", Steve started to ask, "since when do you walk to my house, you know your house is on my way to Family Video."

"Uh, yeah, I thought I could come and visit you before school.", Robin stuttered, walking into Steves house.

"Something's off Rob. Your face looks weird. Are you wearing Make-Up?!", the boy inquired hysterically.

"Yes Steve. There are girls who wear Make-Up, Surprise.", the blonde explained.

"But Robin, you, Robin Buckley never wear more then mascara and some eyeliner.", Steve explained while garbing  his car keys.

"I decided to wear it now. It's my face after all.", Robin insisted rushing to Steves car.

"Okay, Okay, I was just asking.", the brunet implied, starting the car engine.

The rest of the car ride was silent. Great, another silent car ride, Robin thought. When Steve arrived at the parking lot Robin hoped Nancy wasn't going to be there, surprisingly she wasn't. Nancy would have smelled that something's off and Robin didn't want her worrying. First period she had Math, then English and then Health. She didn't have class with Nancy on Tuesdays. But when Mr. Houser, her Health and English teacher walked in and started talking about infections,  those great memories she had persuaded the whole morning came back up. Robin excused herself to the restroom, she felt the panic rising in her whole body again.

"No,no,no,no,no,no, please not another panic attack, not in school!!!!!", the girl scolded herself.

The teen ran as fast as she could. When she entered the restroom no one was there except for her. Hot tears streaming down her cheeks, she locked herself in one of the stalls. Her lungs started to give in again and her breaths got shorter. The Make-Up on her face was almost fully gone and the bruises showed trough. Black dots plagued her vision and the sounds around her got more and more silent. Somehow she could still hear someone banging on the door.

"ROBIN,ROBIN,COME ON ROBIN, OPEN THE DOOR, YOU'LL FAINT IF YOU KEEP HYPERVENTILATING!!!!!!!", a girl shouted.

Robin manged to open the door with her last remaining strength. Nancy gasped as soon as she saw the broken girl. The taller girl wasn't completely conscious anymore, drifting between two realities. The brunette walked inside the stall and locked the door. She had to catch Robin before she fell on the hard tile floor.

"Robin, please wake up. Robin, please.", the shorter girl whispered softly.

"I'm sorry.", Robin replied too quiet, barely audible.

"Hey, no Robin, who ever did this to you should be sorry. Never be sorry for something someone else did, okay?", Nancy cued caring. 

"No, I'm sorry you had to see that.", the taller girl whispered back.

"Well, I want to be there the next time this happens so you have someone with you. What happens if your alone and no one is there to help you?", the brunette asked with so much care.

"I...I...Don't know...", the blonde whined, burring her face into the crook of Nancys neck.

"It's okay, we're gonna get trough this. Together, I promise. I'll be there if you need to talk or just hang out, okay?", the shorter girl says. Robin is sobbing again. The older girl caressed her in her arms telling her that they'll get through this together. After Robin calmed down a bit Nancy started talking again.

"Rob, I knew something was up with you yesterday, I just didn't want to make false assumptions that could ruin the mood. And you don't have to tell me who did this or even if you just ran into a lantern pole. But I really want to help you, Robin, and you just had a panic attack. This is serious shit Rob.", Nancy calmed her down, stroking her hair. Robin needed some time to think of a proper answer.

"I told you my parents are dicks... They think I fuck Steve and literally every boy I talk to. I came back last night and my parents were in the kitchen drinking. My mom started yelling that I'm a slut and that I am a disgrace. So I talked back to her and she smacked me across the face. Her ring hit my cheek bone and now my face looks like this. I tried to cover it up with Make-Up but the tears washed it all off. They always do this... Find something to get mad at me for and then punish me. As a child I had severe anxiety and my mom would always scold me for it. You know Nancy, I tried, I really tried but I never do it right. Maybe they're right...", Robin rambles, cheeks tear stained. They both sat down and leaned against the cold tile wall.

"It's definitely NOT your fault, they're assholes. Can I do something about them? I... We have to do something. They can't keep on beating you up!", the curly haired girl implied furiously.

"I don't know, Nancy. We can't report them to the police! I could just move out or something like that.", the taller girl replies, leaning a bit of weight on Nancys side.

"Actually I have been looking for apartments in Hawkins, and I have found one that i rented. I'll be moving out of my parents house in a week. But don't tell the kids or Steve or Eddie. If you'd like to you can move in with me.", Nancy mentions with a hint of hope in her voice.

"Nancy... You don't have to do that. I'd be a burden-", Robin was cut off by Nancy before she could continue.

"I wouldn't have suggested it if I didn't want you in the apartment.", the older girl insisted. She pulled something out of her pocket. The keys to the apartment. They were on a key ring with Nancys car keys.

"Here take the spare key. I already own it. You can go there if things with your parents get out of hand again.", the brunette said, handing Robin the keys.