The Book of Gemma -Apocalyptic Fantasy Romance-

CHAPTER 23: THE SWIRLS

I knock on the bunker door to be let in as the night creeps over the desert.

"It's me." I assure them that I am not a drifter.

The door creaks open and I throw my bag into the hole to climb down the ladder.
A couple candles are lit in the living room that glows with an orange hue.
I feel hands start to help me down the ladder as I plant my feet on the stone.
The hands now grab the tops of my shoulder and whips me around to face them.

Deecon.
His eyes have dark circles, his skin flushed, his belly growls and his fearful emotions crash into me... but he's smiling.

"Deecon, are you okay? Are you feeling well?" I put the back of my hand to his forehead but feel no fever. Tears fall from his eyes as he takes me in his arms. His hand pushes the back of my head into his peck and begins to run his fingers through my hair. His lips putting pressure on the top of my head, he kept wanting more of me in his arms as he squeezed tighter.

His anxiety begins to crawl back into the black hole as his happiness begins to flourish with me in his arms. He was so warm and comforting that I didn't want the embrace to end.

I muffle into his shirt, "I'm sorry I took so long."

He pushes my face deeper into his chest, shushing me.
"No, I'm sorry I didn't have faith in you to do it alone. We can talk about everything in the morning when Albi is present. "

You were right though, I shouldn't have done it alone.
Franco would be alive if I just stayed in the bunker with you. I squeeze my left hand in the glove, disgusted at the new swirl around my middle finger.
I cannot tell him now, I cannot let him feel any iced emotion flowing from my body.

He moves his mouth to the side of my head,
'I should have told you I loved you before you left.. I didn't know if I would get the chance again with the altercation we had before you left... I've tormented my mental state in your absence.'

I still cannot say it back.
It would taste so bitter coming from my lips after killing Franco. I didn't deserve him saying it to me at that moment. I am a fraud who let the dark win again. Helping those people in the desert was only a drop for the ocean I needed to redeem myself.

Deecon deserves someone better to love... and it shreds my heart every time I don't say it back.
I do love you Deecon.. But I am not worthy to be anyone's partner with the nightmares I have dropped onto your kind.

He grabs my pack from my back and ushers me to the made cot.
'I thought you would like a place to lay down after hours of walking.'
I nod to him and climb under the blanket, finally resting my head on the plush.
I feel a nudge at my arm, 'Scoot over.' Deecon asks lowly.
I gladly scoot over and await his embrace.
He puts his arm under my neck and pulls my waist into the side of his chest.

'I actually missed my night light in this dark cave.' He rubs my cheekbone as he whispers to me.
He then winces, looking down at me. 'Gem, you're burning up.'
I smile, digging my face into his peck.
I was happy.
I was so goddamn happy feeling the lava in my veins.

'I know... I missed you terribly.'

He inches further from me to analyze my facial expressions.
'You haven't missed me in years... I don't even remember the last time I heard you say it... You missed... me?'

I begin to snicker as I look up to him,

'I missed you for a couple minutes when you were dead..'

His chest moves under my cheek as he tries to hold in his loud laughter.
'That shouldn't count, you didn't say it out loud.' He retaliates.
I begin to trace my finger over his chest as I think back to all the times I never said it aloud.

I did miss Deecon, the real Deecon.

I have missed our connection since the day it was lost by my own hand. It should sadden me when I think of it but my mind caps it before crying.
I missed crying.
It was a human trait that my people rarely can do, I was jealous of the relief the outburst gave.
'I'm sad.' I whisper.
Deecon's finger strokes my cheek again, 'You're sad? Did I say something wrong?'
I shake my head, 'Being in my full form won't allow me to cry over silly things anymore.. But I miss it. I want to physically show the emotion thinking of all the times I could have told you I missed you.. I know you weren't yourself for most of it but I still should have told you. Over the last six thousand years I have never wanted to slow down and take a breather... but you.. You stopped me dead in my tracks. I no longer wanted to be alone after experiencing a night with you.'

Deecon turns to his left side to face me, our noses almost touching.
I could feel the warmth coming off of his body.

'For as long as you allow me, I will remain by your side.'