38. re-enact

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re-enact (verb)
1. act out (a past event)


It's taken five days for me to feel back to normal, luckily my arm isn't broken but they kept it in the sling so that it heals better

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It's taken five days for me to feel back to normal, luckily my arm isn't broken but they kept it in the sling so that it heals better. The only part of me that is struggling to heal is the constant flashbacks and raging goosebumps when I think back to that day.

Chills. Actual chills.

Bodi has been texting me non-stop, making sure that I'm okay and my recovery has been going well. He gave me space to be at home, be looked after by my parents but that's the last thing I wanted. I wanted him to be here and give me a cuddle in bed.

The hospital requested that I get victim support. I laugh at the victim part because I was violated by things that people don't even believe in. That will be a one way ticket to the mental detention facility.

Even my mother encouraged it. She didn't necessarily believe what happened but after a while she accepted what I said, she listened and she tried to help. She still is which I am grateful for. I don't want to keep thinking about it.

I just want it to be erased from my memory so I can move on.

Bodi being one of the people who can distract me from my own mind. He'd ring me late at night and we'd stay on the phone until I fell asleep because being in the dark and alone felt like being in a horror movie. And funny enough, a few nights ago I was the star of that show.

Carol popped over to see how I've been and graced me with the information that the council are deciding to drop the manor for those on probation, it's going to be taken over by a third party company instead. At least I know I don't have to go back there, Bodi either.

That place will give me nightmares for the rest of my life.

We agreed that I'd go back to my placement as soon as possible, I want this tag off my leg more than anyone. The quicker I get to having my hours completed, the quicker I can move on from this awful time of my life.

Except Bodi, he's the only silver lining in all of this.

I turn up at the probation office a day later, being instructed that I'll be on the streets cleaning litter, scrubbing graffiti and making sure the town is immaculate. If anything I preferred it like this, a bigger group, more witnesses.

When I'm directed to the location of other people on probation, I pray that Bodi is in the same group. Or he's around at least. I haven't seen him in what feels like forever and I've never missed someone as I've missed him.

I hope he feels the same.

My feet hurry past a group of people scrubbing off black words underneath a bridge, then I notice others picking litter out of hills of grass. Oh how the other half live and we had to deal with a manor, but at least me and Bodi got some alone time.

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