Ash is a fashion model, not by choice but the desire of his projecting mother. People think he's too cocky for his own good, judging him based on what he posts online. But Ash hates the brush he's been painted with, along with the stereotypes of the...
unfixable: (adjective) 1. not able to be repaired or put right.
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The last place I wanted to go is home after probation today. Ash fucked my brains out and then walked away, telling me that it's what I wanted. But it's not, it's far from what I want and maybe I should have been clearer with my intentions with him from the start. Open and honest.
Things might have turned out differently if we spoke about what the hell is going on between us and what we want from each other. Because now I know, I know exactly what I want. I was scared, fucking scared to admit these feelings but keeping them inside is not worth this pain of not knowing what we could have been.
I wish that I could go back and force myself to tell him how I really feel. Tell him how he makes me feel and that I've never felt like this with anyone. Guess I was just too terrified to admit the truth, to put my heart on my sleeve and become vulnerable for the first time in my life.
When I leave placement I drag my phone from my pocket and click on my messages, the last person I want to text is Ciara, but I know I need to. I have to put this situation to bed, leave all this crap behind us and move on.
Bodi Hawk
Are you around today at all? Think we should talk.
Her response comes almost instantly and I glance at my phone as I walk down the street.
Ciara Huntsman
Okay, where were you thinking?
Bodi Hawk
Cafe on the highstreet, I'm almost there
Ciara Huntsman
Okay see you in a little while
I head straight for the cafe and get a seat at the back, I didn't want anyone to see us together. Especially not Ash, God forbid if he saw us together, that would be the end of everything.
My eyes are trained on the laminated menu that has various coffee stains across the words. I'm not going to order anything unless they make us, I just needed a central place for us to meet. Somewhere that won't lead to Ciara trying to sleep with me.
I'm sure this cafe is the biggest turn off in the world so I think we're all good.
The door swings open and I turn my attention to the sound of the bell against the wall. Ciara steps into the cafe with her long blonde hair over one shoulder, she's wearing a black playsuit and tortoiseshell sunglasses.
She swipes them to the top of her head as soon as she sees me, face kept in a neutral glance. When she sits I clear my throat and clench my hands together on the table, she can barely look at me.
