I feel my face lift into a smile, shit. Dave strider always makes me, happy. I don't fucking understand this hornbeast-shit.
"Hey Karkat you wanna go see the mayor with me later?"
"SURE. BUT DON'T YOU GET TIRED OF HIM EVER?" His obsession with the mayor makes me jealous and I don't get it. What the fuck okay though.
"The mayor? Never. He's my best bro."
"OH." his best bro? I thought I was his best bro? Why do I even care? Why does it hurt so much to hear that?
"Oh- Karks no- I didn't mean he was better than you we've just known each other longer and he knows all my shit. I still love you-" his face turns red and he freezes in place. even through his shades I can tell they're wide open.
"WAIT. YOU LOVE ME?"
"A-as a bro of course."
"RIGHT. WELL I LOVE YOU TOO *BRO*" it hurts too admit this but I think I love him for him and not because of some stupid friendship bro code fuckery. We've been on this meteor together for years, so I'm sure of my feelings. But why now? Just when our friendship is getting stronger? Now I have to wait to tell him. I sigh.
"Hey uh.. I think I'm gonna go talk to the mayor.. alone."
"A-ALRIGHT. SEE YOU STRIDER."
"Later Karks." and at that he walks out of the basement area and down the hallway that leads to the mayor. I pout and scratch at the floor. Douche. Bag. That. I. Love.
~
I walk down the corridor with hands in my pockets. I whistle to make it less creepy. I end up running. I'm not afraid. I am definitely afraid. I break a sweat and just fly. I don't usually but in situations like this a pchoo couldn't hurt. I can't help but let Karkat's beautiful smile slip into my mind. He is so perfect. And lovable. And amazingly breath taking. And loud. Which is adorable and ironic because he is so closed off. Oh man- I bet he thinks I don't like him or anything. I just left. Shit. I just needed to consult the mayor about my feelings so they're affirmed. He'll forgive me soon.
~
"Hey bro." aw man the mayor is so cute I could just fist bump him all day. "I actually came here to tell you about my feelings." "well since we're tight I figured you could help me." "Yeah it's about Karkat." "So we've been friends for a while now, even bros. But I think I love him." "He just never leaves my mind and I feel so at home and relaxed with him. Yunno, like I could spend the rest of my life with him and be extremely happy the whole time." "Well yeah I know every couple fights but you know what I meant." "And with him it's not about me. it's about him, it's not always about lust. It's about just generally being in love with this person. Troll. hah." "You think so?" "Tell him!?" "What if-" "fine I will tell him. but when?" "What if he rejects me?" "I'd rather be friends with him and hurt on the inside than have him know and hate me." "What do you mean the pain would be overbearing?" "But I would never section myself from him." "Wait and see? Okay." "Thanks bro." we bump fists again and I leave.
~
God damnit Dave! He has my heart in a fucking knot. No, I think it's just my mind. My heart knows what it wants. I wish I could tell him. I wish I knew if he felt the same way. He has an even better chance of being in love than I do! He's a human! The closest thing I've felt to love is flushed feelings... but even then. This is so much more, so much more, so much more enduring. I've heard and read about love. My romcoms teach me a lot as well. The different types of love. Like family or sexual or friendly. And then the love where it is so, so involved. That person becomes your everything. You, love, them. You could consider this flushed feelings but it feels like all the quadrants in one big cluster fuck. I need Kanaya.
[[{ A/N }]]
Hey yeah so I guess this is happening. not the best but you know. heh okay.
