you don't get to make
stupid decisions when you're a kid
then blame me for existing
as if i ever asked to be here
you don't get to dictate what i do
and be disappointed when i turn out exactly like you
the apple doesn't fall so far from the tree after all
i guess i hate you just as much as you hate me
but if i do, then why do i wish
you'd come around and say you're proud
of everything i've done on my own?
call me your little girl, welcome me home
why do i call out your name
whenever a boy breaks my heart
in hopes you'd come running to me
with wide open arms
wipe my tears and slash his tires
curse at his mother and tell her
she didn't raise him well
and then we'd go home laughing together
what's a little girl supposed to do
when she was thrown into the world at the age of two
all by herself, with no one to turn to?
the bruises on my skin
they may have faded away
but my heart carries all the pain
from years ago like it was just yesterday
when he hit me,
where were you?
when they pushed me,
where were you?
was he so endearing
you'd forget your own daughter?
was he everything you wanted,
everything i wasn't?
the perfect new beginning
while i was a mistake of the past
and i remember not thinking of you
for years or my dad
i didn't really understand what parents were
why everyone had their own all around me
told myself i didn't need either of you
i fought everyone who stood against me
since i was young, i had my own back
but now i'm twenty-one, crying in my studio
wishing i had a mom to go home to
and tell her how my day at work went
but if you're here again,
you'd probably just tell me to suck it up
you never wiped my tears anyway
since i was two, i was an adult
but it never really did feel like i grew up
