𝔸 ℂ𝕠𝕦𝕣𝕥 𝕠𝕗 𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕎𝕣𝕒𝕥𝕙 (Book 2)

Ninety-Eight

We hadn't spoken since last night, though that was not saying much. The two of us had danced and laughed and smiled the entire night of Starfall. Returning in the early hours of the morning when the stars had ceased falling at the sun crested on the horizon.

I did not want to panic. Didn't want to retreat into my cowardly ways just as I had done at Summer Court; as I had done after that day on the roof. And yet...though I had let go of my reservations last night, there disappearance was very much temporary.

Maybe it was a sign that I dreamed of Astrid and Flynn, of the good memories we had in our shared childhood. And then the day they had died.

No matter my feelings. No matter my wants. No matter that everything in me just wanted to relive last night over and over again. I couldn't add Rhys's name onto the list of people I cared for and lost.

I inhaled a soft breath, shrugging ever so slightly. "There's much to think about." I replied, bringing the porcelain to my lips as I sipped from my warm mug.

"Indeed." Rhys said with a small sigh as he lifted himself from the threshold and waltzed into the kitchen. The soft scuff of his boots across the polished floor being the only sound save from the soft rise and fall of our chests as we breathed. Rhys rounded the small island I sat at, standing directly in front of me as he braced his hands on the cool countertop.

There was a moment of silence as I sipped from my tea. Basking in the morning light filtering through the windows, it couldn't have been passed six and I'd scarcely got an hour of sleep. I inhaled deeply, tipping my head back as I allowed the sun to warm my face.

It was nice. A pocket of peace in an otherwise sorrowful day.

When I looked back to Rhys, I asked, "Are you ready for today?"

He angled his head slightly, arching a brow, "Are you?" the High Lord retorted. I merely spared the male a look that told him I saw right through him. Rhysand looked down before his gaze tangled with mine again. "I am...sad to leave. After so much time away I wish we had more time to enjoy it here. But I also know that staying is a risk in itself." he paused for a moment, a vacant expression on his features. "It's for the best."

He didn't want to leave. That much was clear on his face and in his words. But...darkness lurked in his eyes. Something entirely different from the grief or sadness of saying goodbye to friends or leaving Velaris.

"If you believe it's for the best, why do you look so..." I trailed off, looking for the right word. "Haunted."

He didn't respond for a long moment. So long I wasn't sure he would reply at all. But his voice finally cut through the silence, precise as a blade. "I never thought I'd come back here." Rhys answered, voice quiet yet strong. "During Amarantha...I gave up hope that I would ever return. To leave again, I suppose it's reminding me of what's beyond these borders. What can happen."

Bitter understanding flowed through my veins just as it had last night. His trauma...I couldn't begin to fathom it. And I knew it would not just disappear.

But I did not know how to help. How to console him. How to ease his pain. I didn't there would ever be a cure for that sort of agony, no matter how much I wished there was.

I had a feeling that even if I told Rhys I understood—that I was there for him—he would not believe it. Would keep everything to himself even as it wrecked him inside. Self-sacrificing bullshit, if you asked me. I wished he didn't believe he had to bear these things alone.

The thought put an ache in my chest. A deep ache that felt like an anvil weighed on my lungs.

I stared. Gazing at him thoughtfully before I said, "We will return." It was more of an affirmation than an assurance. A need to believe that we would come back. That this war would not take everything.