The Bad Boy and His Good Side (Shawn Mendes AU)

Chapter 38

A quarter of an hour later Vivian has calmed down and can actually breath. I ask if she needs anything.

"Just something to drink." She says standing then walks to her attached bathroom to splash water on her face. Minutes later when I come back she's emptying a pill bottle into her cupped palm. After tilting her head back, she pops two in her mouth.

What are those, is she breaking the promise we made in December. "What are you doing?! Were you trying to get me out of the room so I wouldn't see?" I say shutting her bedroom door behind me, though it's technically the whole floor.

"Taking my anxiety meds. Calm down, I'm not doing drugs. I should've told you, most people just guess I'm on a lot, and they aren't wrong." She kisses my cheek and takes the water. I follow her to the large window, which she opens then steps out onto the roof outside. Some time passes, probably twenty minutes or so. With only the moon and stars as light she hugs her knees to her chest,"Do you want me to tell what happened in my nightmare?"

"Only if you're comfortable." I take her hands, looking directly into her eyes. "Are you?"

She nods then crawls back so she is leaning to against the navy blue panels of the house.

-Vivian's Pov

Everything outside, sat perfectly still, it was probably two in the morning. The only sounds were cars on the busier street a few blocks away. I liked it the fact it seemed to be only us.

My teeth sink into my lip as Shawn gazes at me. I puff my cheeks up and exhale slowly. "It was about Ian, obviously," I start, "It was a flashback, to a few weeks after my birthday. So I was old enough so he couldn't get charged with rape and he got excited about that, like any guy would. Before I gave it much of a second thought, I told him that I'd have sex with him. Then I changed my mind about it, but he couldn't process that. He was just mad when I tried to explain, I can't blame him, I was already topless in his room. Basically he threw me against the mattress, and tore off the rest of what I was wearing. I started to yell for help, things got worse before anyone heard me. His friend did, and came running down, he did what he could to help me." I dig my face into my knees while holding back a few tears.

The colour drains from Shawn's face, he only mumbles an oh. He opens his arms, I crawl from the corner of the roof, across the shingles to him. He says nothing, but I know what runs over his brain, it was surprise and horror. Maybe even a bit of disgust. 

"You probably don't want to be with a girl who has this much weight to carry. If you want to run because you can't take this much drama: than I understand and you don't ever have to talk to me again. I'll move in with Aaron." I mumble while digging my nails into my clammy, red palms. It's around two in the morning I'm in a boys arms on a roof while I almost cry and he sits wrapped around me like he's looked at Medusa.

He snaps from his stone-shock daze, "It doesn't matter to me that you have anxiety, PTSD, and the meds you have to take for the abs- er shit you went through, I love you. I don't care if you're not over all of that, I didn't expect you to be when I asked you to be mine."

I purse my lips and blink at his words, I don't believe him. Though I really want to to, I can't.

The temperature drops some, we crawled back in the window.

"While you were starting to get this nightmare, I was having a fantastic dream about us." He backs up to look at me only to gesture me back into his arms. "Well our future: we lived a few blocks away from all the guys and even Aaron, somewhere far away from here," Shawn pauses to smile, "I got signed to a record label, and we had kids. Twins actually, a boy and a girl. We named the daughter Erin, we named her after him, I do like the way it sounds though. Then our son, his name was Alex. The four of us, we were a family and happy, you didn't have flash backs anymore. All the guys helped us out, and they were our family too. But it was us and our two dogs playing at the park, it was perfect. I hope that one day that dream, isn't just a dream but our life. Well as long as you want that."

I hold back tears, "Y-you mean that?"

"Yes, I want to spend my life with you. It sounds crazy because we're only teenagers, but I really do want you forever." He looks ecstatic, his eyes lit up as he talked.

All night, until we dozed off, we talked about how life will be in the future. The positive things made me forget all the negative. We talked about the life we'd have, he even mentioned that he would someday make me his queen but for now I'm his princess. By the time we fell asleep, the clock read after three am but still not yet four.

I open my eyes to a gentle light, the bed is empty beside me. In confusion, I sit up, Had last night, all been a dream? Rubbing my head and trying to think if it really happened, I hear shuffling downstairs. The sounds transfer up the steps and behind my door, I ball up in fear.

"Good morning, sunshine." Shawn says opening my door with mugs of coffee in each hand.

As I smile at the fact that night was real, "Good morning, handsome. Should we do something today?" I reach my hand out and lace my fingers into his.

He shrugs before sitting me up over his legs. After he sets one mug down, Shawn leans in, waiting for me to press my lips to his. Rather than leaving him waiting, I kiss him. The kiss lasts a few seconds, but it's satisfying.

My phone blurbs loudly, I groan that someone is calling. Who calls this early, wait it's like noon. The screen reads, Matt's contact name in my phone. "What Matt?"

"Can you come apartment hunting with me? I don't want to go by myself it's awkward." He asks, without having reason to do otherwise, I agree. In twenty minutes time his car pulls into my driveway, both Shawn and I climb in his jeep. "Did you screw my baby cousin last night?" He snaps at Shawn, the only thing stopping him from attacking Shawn was the tight seatbelt.

"God no, she had a nightmare and needed me." Shawn throws his hands up in defense. As Matt turns around, Shawn gulps uncomfortably in the back seat. "So why does Vivian have to come, can't one of the guys go with you?"

"Well it's important she likes it." Matt keeps focused on the road.

"Why do I have to like it?"

"Because."

So guys, what's up?

Also I don't know what kind of car Matt has, or even if he does so I guessed.

Are any of you on break yet?

Oh, and Shawn looks so adorable in his tour pics, one of my friends gets to see him and I think meet him.

Anyway, I think thats it.

-love y'all, grace

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