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Sarge faces the camera.

Sarge: Name, rank, serial number, that's all your getting from me.

Dylan is now interviewing him. Everytime Sarge speaks, a military drumroll plays, only to stop whenever Dylan interrupts.

Dylan: Well, that's a good place to start. I have no idea what your actual name is. Every record I ever found just says "Sarge."

Sarge: I see right through your ploy clear as glass.

Dylan: There is no ploy. I just don't know your name.

Sarge: Ha! You THINK you'll just butter me up! When I least expect it: Whambo! You pry open my mind prison and suck out my brain beans! Well, I'm not falling for it. I'm ooooold past the interrogation game. Pay attention, missy! You might just learn a thing or two.

Dylan: Well, if we're not going to talk, we can just cut. I don't why you asked for this interview.

Sarge: To keep an eye on you. Y'see Temple and Surge don't trust you. They sent me to find out what you know, so while you think you're interrogating me, I'll secretly be interrogating you to find out what you know about them. Haha! Oh no.

Dylan: ...What?

Sarge: I, uh, I realize now that I've just spilled all my brain beans. ...Oh, damn, you're good!

Dylan: Please, if you could just...tell me your name?

Sarge: I underestimated you. The student has become the teacher. Touché.

Sarge begins making a weird howling noise. Dylan walks in front of the camera.

Dylan: Just cut, Jax.

Cut to Tucker approaching Temple.

Temple: Tucker! Thanks for coming in!

Tucker: No problemo. What's shakin'?

Temple: This feels a little awkward, but I-I wanted to express my gratitude and admiration for you, and your amazing performance back at the gulch.

Tucker: Temple, we just met, so I should let you know that flattery isn't going to get you anywhere. You can't butter me up! ...But do go on.

Temple: That was the coolest thing I've ever seen, man! You fight like a freelancer! It was like I bore witness to a bright star of hope, shone through the clouds amidst a dark and terrible whirlpool!

Tucker: Mm, I don't think I've been called a star before, but, if the shoe fits...

Temple: This fight has felt so hopeless for us. What we're going up against, I-I mean we're just a bunch of dumb rejects hurling ourselves against impossible odds. You give us.....you gave me, a real sense of hope.

Tucker: Well, it's not the first time I've helped a bunch of helpless people in need. I'm just doing what I do best. Well, second best, if you know what I mean.

Temple: (laughs) Oh, you know I do. (just to be sure) Sex, right? Yeah, uh, the other thing I-I wanted to bring up is perhaps a bit more sensitive, uh, it's about that reporter.

Tucker: Dylan? There's nothing between us.

Temple: What do you really know about her?

Tucker: Mmm...not much, she kinda helped out a little bit.

Temple: Yeah...I just worry about her agenda. I mean, those journalist types, they don't give a shit about real people. They just care about selling their stories and getting their book deals and leaving us plebs to our fate. We're kinda like lab rats to them!

Red Vs Blue Season 15 male ocWhere stories live. Discover now