Camp Hermit-Blood - The Sea of Monsters

Ren

I give you
One of my most glorious creations:
Hermitcraft meets the Party Ponies

~~~

Ren found himself stuffed in Grian's pocket and struggling to hold on as all Hades broke loose on the deck of the Princess Andromeda.

Grian, cackling like the chaos gremlin he was, immediately shoved a leather name tag at one of his dracaena guards and yelled, "TAG!"

"NO!" the monster moaned. "I JUST GOT RID OF THIS!"

The other dracaena shrieked at the sight of the fear-inducing name tag and pushed other monsters out of the way to avoid being It.

The monster who was It lunged at Grian, who jumped out of the way. Ren dug his claws into the outer edge of the pocket.

Outside of the game of tag that Grian had apparently started (that was very much like him), it looked like a prankster's heaven. There were arrows tipped with springs and punch thingamajigs flying everywhere from an unknown source. A whole bunch of monsters were covered in... was that paint? There was a black pegasus attempting to trample everything. And Bdubs was screaming bloody murder. As Bdubs did. Monsters were running in every direction, whether from the unknown threat or Bdubs or the pegasus or the dracaena who was It, Ren didn't know. Possibly all four.

There was so much entropy that Ren couldn't even tell who was doing it until a centaur plucked Grian off the deck and placed him - and Ren - on his back.

"DUDE!" The centaur whined. "I WANTED TO HELP SHOOT THE GUNS!"

"No, we needed you for helping the campers!" another voice yelled back. A familiar voice.

The centaur that Grian was riding grumbled. Ren noticed he had one of those hats that had soda cans and straws. His shirt read, Party Ponies: South Florida Chapter

"That's all of them! Now, brethren!" the familiar voice called. "Think about root beer!"

"ROOT BEER!" all of the Party Ponies cheered, and then Ren ducked into Grian's pocket and Grian yelped and held on as they jumped into the air... and right off the deck.

They plummeted toward the docks but landed with hardly a jolt, or at least, Ren didn't feel it. He didn't know what the residents of Miami were thinking, but he was pretty sure he knew the origins of Florida Man now. The centaurs - there were about a dozen of them - whooped and yelled taunts at the Princess Andromeda as they left it behind.

Streets and buildings and pedestrians started to blur as they sped up. It wasn't long before the city faded entirely - it felt like each step was taking them miles. They raced through fields and marshes and swamps, until finally they slowed and stopped at a trailer park.

Except they were all horse trailers. And they had TVs and mini-fridges.

Grian nearly fell off of the centaur that he was riding. Ren squeaked. Grian seemed to remember he was there and let him out of the Pocket of Doom.

"Dude!" Their party pony yelled at another party pony. "Did you see that snake lady? She was like 'whoa, I have an arrow in my mouth!'"

"Yeah! That was awesome!" Another party pony laughed. "Head slam?"

"HEAD SLAM," the first pony said passionately, and then they ran and smashed their heads together, stumbling away with goofy grins.

"I wish they would stop doing that," a voice said. "They really don't have the brain cells to spare."

With a jolt, Ren realized it was Chiron.

Avoiding the tramping feet of inconsiderate centaurs, he made his way over to where the wise centaur and Percy were having a conversation.