the roommate ；xu minghao

twenty five

this chapter contains slight references to sensitive contents, there will be a warning before and after the part so those who feel uncomfortable can skip it.
enjoy <3

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

I came back to reality with a loud gasp, as if I had been drowning until that moment and finally was able to take a breath after reaching the surface. My heart was beating loudly in my chest, its sound filling my numb ears.

What was that all about? I couldn't truly comprehend what had just happened and what Meihui said seemed... cryptic. It was hard to understand the meaning behind her words, especially in a state like mine.

My shaky respiration slowly started to return to normal after a while, thanks to a few deep breaths and making sure I was holding myself to the ground of reality and not onto another mind dimension.  Shortly after I opened my eyes again, the dark living room signalling time had passed by and the afternoon had become night, despite the feeling that time hadn't changed one bit.

His lying figure made me widen my eyes, and I moved closer to him to examine if he was okay. His breathing, or whatever was sustaining his soul, seemed regular, his chest slowly going up and down as his whole body appeared frozen, from the parts that were still visible and not transparent I could, at least, state that.

Minghao seemed to be in a deep sleep in fetal position, his hand still holding onto the picture from before. It reminded me of his younger version, who cried loudly in the silence of that dark place, and I hoped with all my heart he found peace at last. And maybe, he could have brought it to his present self whose soul was broken and still hurting.

Deep in thought, at first I didn't even notice the glowing blue light that mysteriously covered his whole body, making the glass-like limbs sparkle thanks to their reflections. His hair shone with tiny stars which floated around his head, before vanishing and leaving space for new ones.

I was frozen but in awe and confusion: everything happened so fast that my mind was still trying to find a logical path to follow in between dark messages left from his memories and unknown images that still lingered and kept on repeating in my head. Just rethinking what I had just experienced made my heart ache in pain and sorrow.

I did want to tell him the truth, at least the half of it that I knew, but it wasn't my right to do so. Only one person could do it, however, he didn't seem fully ready the last time I had met him: there was an indescribable feeling darkening his eyes, and his voice over the phone wasn't as clear as before; from our call I could hear that something was bothering him to the point of shedding a few tears, even struggling to talk.

He was his only family and Minghao was his only too.

I didn't have the right to unveil such things. I couldn't bring myself to fully commit to that huge responsibility that was Seojun's only. 

I was no one compared to what they were to each other: to Seojun I was probably just someone who happened to live with the ghost of his son in his old apartment, which sounded crazy and out of the world thinking about it, and I happened to be stuck in a situation in which the Xu family and what seemed their agents were involved, willingly or not. To Minghao... who was I to him?

A friend? But we barely knew each other despite living together for months. An acquaintance? Most probably yes, and that was almost nothing compared to their bond. I wasn't anything too important to him, just someone who was helping him out and got drawn into his story.... I was a stranger.

My heart stung at that, watching him wasn't helping either as I realised I was only an outsider who needed to keep the necessary distance not to get too attached. Only a person who was giving a hand, that's who I was. That and nothing else.