The White Wolf

Chapter 16

"Come on. Let's go watch the stars." Bucky spoke up after we had had been sitting quietly for awhile. I looked over at the clock, it's flashing 2am.
"Bucky, it's 2 in the morning." I said as he took my hand in his and pulled me up from the couch and walked up the stairs that lead to the roof.
"So? We used to do this all the time. We would stay out there until we couldn't see the stars anymore." He said, happiness ringing in his tone as we walked out the door to the roof. I could only smile. He remembers.
"You remember that? I didn't think you remembered much yet from before. Did the Wakandan's help you with that too?" I asked and sat down on the cold cement, him following suit next to me.
"Yeah. It was some sort of exercise that had me do multiple times a day. Let's see if I can get it to work with you. Turn towards me." He said and grabbed both my knees to turn me towards him. Our knees now touching.
"Okay, now take a deep breath and close your eyes." He instructed and I did as I was told.
"Picture an open valley just outside of the military camps we used to live in all the time. Nod when you can see it clearly." He said calmly. I remember the camps. We were constantly in and out of them as we grew up. Both our parents were military so we were always on the move. That's how Steve, Bucky and I met. Our tents always seems to be right next to each other.
I nodded when I finally got the clear image in my head of the valley.
"Alright, now picture me. Hair slicked back, clean shaven, dressed all spiffy." He said, and I could hear him smiling.
He was so handsome back then. When he wasn't dressed in uniform, it was slacks a button down shirt and a black trench coat. His hair slicked back. I don't know though, I think I like the new Bucky more.
I nodded, knowing I have his precious self clearly imagined now.
"There's a blanket laid out on the grass that we would lay on..." he continued on but that's when the memory started to play itself in my head. I don't remember this night.

-memory-
"Hey, doll. You doin alright?" Bucky asked as he walked towards me. We had arranged to sneak out of the camp to watch the stars tonight. Him and Steve have a mission coming up and Bucky wanted to spend some one of one time with just me for some reason. Not that I'm complaining, I've been in love with him for quite some time now. But why wouldn't he be preparing like Steve is?
"Hey, get out of your head. Don't leave me like that." Buck said, laying his hand gently to my shoulder.
"Sorry. Just trying to figure something out is all." I said and sat down on the blanket, focusing on the stars.
"Yeah? What's that? Maybe I can help." He said and sat down next to me.
"Alright... I can't figure out why you wanted to spend your last free night with me instead of partying or doing what Steve is. Preparing. I'm not special." I asked, not looking away from the sky. His hand gripped my chin and forced me to look at him.
"Yes you are. You are important. You matter. Steve gets all worked up the night before only because there's a lot of pressure on him as captain. He doesn't want to mess it up. So he sits and stews over all possible outcomes and things of any way possible he can fix it if needed. My job is to have his back and do as I'm told. He doesn't tell me what to do on these nights. So I choose to spend it with you. The most important girl in both mine and Steve's lives." He said and all I could do is stare into his eyes. He's not saying something else. He's keeping something from me.
"But Bucky.." I started but he cut me off.
"From now on, any time Steve and I get sent out or even just me... I promise you and I will find a place to sit and watch the stars. All night long until the sun comes up. It'll be our thing. Our tradition. I'll make sure to spend time with you whenever Steve can't." He said and finally let go of my face.

—end of memory—

"Hey, come back to me. Baby, come on. Get out of your head." Bucky said, bringing me back from my memory trance. I blinked a few times and settled my eyes on his. He was worried.
"There you are. You scared me. These things aren't supposed to last that long." He said and that's when I noticed the sun starting to peek out from the horizon.
"How long was I in there?" I asked.
"A few hours. What happened? When they did that to me in Wakanda, it only lasted a few minutes." He said and waited for my answer.
"I saw it. I saw the memory you were trying to show me. But it... it just kept going. It played back all the times we would watch the stars together. All the way up to the last time before your last mission. But the one that sticks the most is that first time. You were trying to explain to me why you wanted and chose to spend your last free night before every mission with me and not out partying or prepping. I could tell you were holding something back and at the time I didn't want to ask. I didn't want the answer to be something around the lines of you had to or Steve told you to." I answered.
"You want the full response to that? I remember what I was thinking back then. I remember it all." He offered, brushing a strand of my hair behind my ear. I nodded.
"So...once Steve became captain I knew he wasn't going to have a lot of down time if any at all. And I wasn't okay with him just leaving you behind. So I made it my responsibility to watch over you. Spend time with you whenever I got the chance. And it wasn't because I had to. It was because I wanted to. Back then, and even obviously now.. I had a thing for you. For a long time. I started to notice it when you were 16 I think. Actual dates are still fuzzy. Every fiber in my body was telling me to make sure you stayed safe. To be there for you. I couldn't ignore it. I never said anything back then because I didn't want you worry more than you already did about Steve and I. Had we gotten into a relationship then, I can't imagine how much worse things would have been for you when you thought I was dead. So I kept my feelings to myself. But every part of my soul was telling me to never let you go. So I didn't." He finished telling his story and staring out at the horizon.
"You know I felt the same way for you, right? I always have." I said and he turned to me, his metal hand lightly gripping my thigh and his other caressing my face.
"I love you. I have loved you since that first time we watched the stars together. And I will never stop loving you." He said and at first I couldn't respond. I've waited what feels like forever to hear him say those words. I used to dream of it.
"Bucky... I have loved you that same amount of time if not longer. And every single day... that love got stronger. I have waited so long to hear those words come out of your mouth." I said and he pulled me into his lap. My legs straddling his lap, my arms around his neck, one hand running through his now short hair. His metal arm wrapped immediately around my waist, the other pulling my face to his until our lips finally crash into each other once again.