To Heal is to Feel

Bells

I feel a hand land on my shoulder and squeeze it gently, but I don't turn to see who it is

Bells bells bells bells

"Someone's ringing those bells, maybe calling others." Glenn's says as we start to move again

"Could be signaling they found her." Andrea points out

"She could be ringing those herself." Shane points out too

"Come on." I hear rick say from close behind me and I know it was his hand as he squeezes me again before taking off in a run with us behind him, again

We slowly come to a stop in a clearing where there was graves in front of the church. My heart warmed at the sight.

I run  around the graves not waiting for the other but hear them follow not long after Shane said something.

I look at the buildings state before finding the front door and stomping up the steps with my knife held tightly in my hand and the other on the door.

"Lanna." I hear rick quietly tell me as he comes up from behind, I turn to him before he grabs my shoulder again and pushes me behind daryl who pushes me behind Shane who tells me to stay with the others as Glenn walks up to the three

I scoff but stay put next to Carl who tries to get me to look at him but I cross my arms and glare at the back of Ricks big head.

Lori hands Ricks a long sharp looking weapon before he, daryl and Shane enter the building and kill some walkers that were in there. Glenn hands daryl his weapon after taking his crossbow

Men.

Except Glenn.

I peeked inside and saw a dead woman, walker, that had a lovely dress on with a scarf thing on her head. I could tell she was really beautiful when she was living. Human.

I watch as the three guys kill the walkers , hitting there heads over and over ,even though they were limp on the floor with the first hit.

When they stop Lori checks that Carl is okay.

I look at the mom and son before rolling my shoulders back in hopes of releasing the feeling I felt when I looked at them.

I followed behind carol and into the building.

"Sophia!" Rick yells, there was rows of long benches on each side with a little room in the middle to walk up to a statue with a guy on the cross.

I think his name was Jesus or god... mom told me about him once.

She was never the religious type so I am not either. Unless of course Mother Nature is a god too ,then I am. But I don't think she is.

"Yo , J. C., you taking request?" I hear daryl say up at the statue. Is he religious? I never thought of him as I worshiping type. But I wouldn't mind if he was... he does whatever he wants.

"I'm tells you it's the wrong church. It's got no steeple rick. There's no steeple." Shane says just as the bells sound again but this time much closer

I put my hands over my ears and follow behind the others , stopping next to Carl who looks at me with a sour face before putting his hands on top of mine

Not that I needed him to do that but I did appreciate it.I won't tell him that. I see Glenn rip out some wires from a box attached to the wall and the bells stop

I take carls hands off of my ears while looking around for anything. A shadow of a little blonde girl in the trees looking at us, Sophia's pice calling to us, anything at all but there was nothing

"Timer. It's on a timer." Daryl concluded what everyone was thinking already

"I'm gonna go back in for a bit." Carol says from behind me, I turn my head and follow her with my eyes as she enters the building

The sun was seeming to bright for my eyes now and I decided to go back inside as well

I sat on the bench closer to the open sores, few rows behind where carol decided to sit.Lori came in a few minutes later ,and sat a few rows in front of me but still behind Carol

I could hear other footsteps but decided not to turn around.

I brought my knees to my chest and hugged my knife that I haven't noticed was still tightly wrapped in my hand till now. My bags sleeve is still over my shoulder but the pouch is resting besides me, letting me now that it's still there.

There was silence before carol started talking,

"Father forgive me. I don't deserve your mercy. I preyed for safe passage from Atlanta and you provided. I preyed for Ed to be punished for laying his hands on me and for looking at his own daughter. Whatever sickness was growing in his soul. I prayed you put a stop to it, give me a chance to raise her right, she's so fearful. She so young in her way. She hasn't had a chance. Praying for Ed's death was a sin. Please, don't let this be my punishment. Let her be safe, alive and safe. Please, lord. Punish me however you want but show mercy on her."

Carol finishes and times around , seeming surprised to see Lori behind her but she none the less goes to loris open arms for comfort.

I let out a sigh and get up, readjusting my bag on my shoulder before walking outside. Ignoring the eyes of rick and Carl, who were the footsteps I hated standing behind me.

I kept walking until I stopped at a grave that looked moldy and old. I sat in front of it and let my hands dig into the soft grass.

I see the group form a circle feet away from me but I don't move from my spot. Keeping my head down as I feel my hands sink into the ground.

I hear Shane's voice annoyingly say orders to the group but I slowly fade it out and close my eyes. I could feel the sun shinning over me as I close my eyes.

I start to be aware of my breathing pattern and open my eyes. It's so hot. The bright green color of the grass starts to seem brighter. I don't know what's happening-

"Lanna," I feel a hand on my shoulder and hum in acknowledgment, "...wanna come with me?" I recognize the voice as Ricks and nod before slowly standing up.

I don't know where he meant and that confused me but it's rick so it would probably be okay. I let out a deep breath I didn't now I was holding before being my hand up rubbing my chest. I lick my dry lips and realize that I haven't eaten or drank anything since yesterday.

I'm barely noticing.

I feel Ricks hand guide me somewhere and before I know it I feel the shade of the trees.  I don't feel plain, but more of a faded feeling.