Lost and Found

Chapter 30

Meredith ran her palms along her thighs, trying to compose herself. The onslaught of emotions and memories and thoughts was almost too much. But she couldn't move from her spot on the stairs. Closing her eyes she breathed deeply in and out, in and out, carefully tucking each thought and emotion away to deal with later, in the privacy of her own home, buried under the covers in her bed.

"Dr- I mean, Meredith?" she felt Penny's hand lightly touch her knee.

She exhaled loudly and opened her eyes. Penny's pained and guilty expression looked back at her as she slipped her hand away, but Meredith caught it, "Thank you," she said. She couldn't blame the young doctor. And frankly... while it was still painful... it felt... good to know what happened, and that someone she knew was there with her baby, if only for a moment.

For her part, Penny squeezed her hand but said nothing.

"I was going to name her Grace," Meredith said. "I hadn't told anyone yet, I was still debating in my head... Her grave, it just says Baby Grey-Shepherd, because no one could come up with a name in time for..." She sighed. Her body ached. She wanted to go home. Crap. She had to get home... Janet was doing a home check.

Meredith shot up, catching the handrail for support, and nearly knocking Penny over. "I have to go," she said.

But Penny grabbed her forearm. "Grace. It's a beautiful name, and no matter what her gravestone says, she is still your Grace."

"Yeah." Meredith had to go. There was another little being that needed her, and she needed to pass this home check. She pushed past Penny and scampered down the stairs, feeling lighter than she ever felt in a very long time.

xxx

Lexie scrabbled for balance on the crowded subway while checking her emails on her phone. Mark wanted to drive her to work today, but the subway was actually faster, and honestly, she felt that if he drove her to work, he'd probably want to do more than just drive her to work and she'd probably let him.

She snorted to herself and shook her head. Ever since her confession that night, Mark seemed to be walking on cloud nine. This morning, she found him googling baby names. "Not yet!" she had laughed, smacking him on the arm.

Speaking of baby names... She smiled when she saw pictures of Meredith and Zola. They'd been texting back and forth randomly, and Meredith sent her a selfie with a curious Zola and the Anatomy Jane doll. Lexie was happy for Meredith. The smile on her sister's face in the picture was one she hadn't seen in years.

Even on the crowded subway, covered in commuters, Life was looking up.

The train took a sharp turn, and she swayed again, gripping the bar tighter, still engrossed in her old work emails. Wait, what was this? A fellow Neuro Attending had emailed her scans... of a tumor... A massive tumor. "Holy crap," she muttered, shifting position so she could free her hand to zoom in. "Holy..."

It was inoperable. She was sure... but... she looked at it again... zoomed in, zoomed out, rotated it. Maybe...

But what did it matter? She was in DC. The tumor was in... Lexie glanced at the email.,the patient was a fellow doctor, from Seattle. And this was sent to her weeks ago. She sighed. She would love to attack this tumor... but she had brain mapping to do. Reluctantly she forwarded the email to Dr. Shepherd, the new Chief of Neuro, with a subject heading, 'Inoperable? Only if you're unimaginative..'

The screech of the brakes got her attention, and Lexie looked up, realizing she was at her stop. Sighing, she hefted her bag on her shoulder and pushed through the white and black suited people on the train.

She should have let Mark drive her. Washington was so dull.

xxx

Arizona picked up the chart and entered the patient's room confidently. "Hello, I'm Dr. Robbins, I'm here to do an ultrasound to see how everything's going along with the baby, okay?" she smiled and picked up the wand and jelly.