•ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ ʏᴏᴜ• ᴍᴀᴛᴛ ꜱᴛᴜʀɴɪᴏʟᴏ

••ᴛᴡᴏ••

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Song recs- Half a heart- One Direction

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•Matts pov•

"Matt get up we're leaving in an hour!" I hear someone yell

I open my eyes and notice the emptiness of my bed. I take a look around, wondering if she's just gone to the bathroom, but her phone isn't on my nightstand. Her hoodie isn't on my floor. She left. 

I knew it was a bad idea to ask her to stay last night, it was selfish of me, because I knew she'd say yes. 

Being able to fall asleep in her arms last night made me rethink everything. I'm so deeply in love with her and everything in me is screaming to get her back. To apologize and tell her it was all a mistake. But I know I can't do that, I'm hurting her every time I leave for La. She always tried to play it off to me like she was okay, but Alahna and Nate told me the truth. How she'd spend hours in her bed crying, re reading texts or looking at pictures of us. It killed me knowing that she was hurting because of me, and it hurt even more knowing that it was only going to be getting worse as we become more popular. 

Leaving her seemed like the best option at the time. But everyday she's not with me I regret the decision more and more. I miss her so much. My life feels empty without her presence, Angeline always was the kind of person who was able to make people smile just from being around her. She was absolutely everything to me. 

The hardest part of my day is always first thing in the morning, I guess I'm still not completely used to her not being here in the mornings. I hate waking up alone, I miss her wrapping her arms around me when my alarm went off so I couldn't get up, I miss her laughs when Chris and Nick would barge in yelling at us to get up, I miss everything about her. 

Chris and Nick weren't too happy with me when they found out. They loved Angeline just as much as I did and they don't understand why I ended things. I think they're most angry that I've ruined things between all four of us, we'd never be able to hang out again without it being weird. 

Today we're leaving for La and as much as I am excited for everything that we have planned I hate I won't be able to talk to her at the end of a long day. But it's my fault this is happening in the first place. 

I finally decide to pull myself out of bed, walking over to my closet I open it searching for a hoodie. My eyes land on my black ransom one, I feel my chest tighten at the sight of it and my mind floods with memories of Angeline walking around in it, my clothes were always too big on her but she looked absolutely beautiful in them. I reach for a different hoodie and throw it on before heading downstairs to the kitchen. 

"How'd things go with Ang last night?" Chris asks

I just shrug not wanting to talk about it and sit down

"Wait she was here? Why didn't anyone tell me?" Nick yells

"She was here to give Matt his stuff back, but I never heard her leave.. I was kind of hoping you two worked it out or something." Chris says raising his eyebrows at me

I flick my eyes to Nicks and see him looking equally as hopeful as Chris. They want us to be back together just as much as I do, they miss her. 

I shake my head and look down at my lap, not wanting to see their disappointing stares. Luckily they don't press any further, things have been weird between the three of us since me and Angeline broke up. Which is mainly my fault.

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•Flashback•

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I've barely left my room in three days, my brothers and parents know what happened, and they've tried to come talk to me many times but I just don't have the energy. The only time I leave my room is to go to the bathroom or grab food. It's rare now anyone tries to talk to me, but if they do I just ignore them. I haven't been ready to talk to anyone about it yet. 

I know that it's probably time I do though, I need to just get it over with. I crawl out of my bed and head into Chris' room where I know Nick already is. Once the door opens they both turn to look at me and just stay quiet, probably not sure what to say. 

"I'm ready to talk now." I say going over to sit beside them

There's a moment of silence but finally Nick speaks up

"What happened?" 

I take my time explaining my thoughts to them, trying to hold in the tears that are bound to spill any moment. I tell them everything making sure to say every detail, just to make sure they understand why I did it. 

"No offence dude but that was the stupidest reason you could've come up with." Chris says after I'm finished

"Yeah what the fuck? You and Angeline could've easily worked something out. I don't get why you gave up without even seeing if it could work." Nick adds on

That last sentence hit a soft spot. I can almost hear her voice telling me the same thing. 

"It wouldn't have." I respond quietly 

"How do you know that?" Nick yells

"Because Nick it wouldn't have, I'm done with this conversation, I don't care if you understand or not!" I yell back

"No Matt you don't get to be done with this conversation because this breakup doesn't just affect you. You also ruined mine and Chris' friendship with her because you're an idiot. Not to mention what you've done to her. Jesus Christ Matt do us all a favour and think about someone other than yourself for once!" Nick continues to yell

"Think about myself for once? Really? The whole reason I broke up with her was because I was thinking about her, I was hurting her by leaving all the time you know that!" I shout now getting very angry

Why can't Nick just understand

"Oh Matt stop playing dumb, we all know the reason why you broke up with her and it wasn't because of her feelings, it was because of your own. Yeah Angeline was upset when you left I'm not going to deny that because I know that's true. But we all know the real reason you broke up with her is because of your own stupid insecurities. The whole time we were gone you'd always be stressed that while you were gone Angeline would find someone else! Which is fucking ridiculous because that girl loves you more than life and you broke her heart!" He shouts before storming out of Chris' room slamming the door

I stand staring at the wall, I glance at Chris and see him just staring at me. Clearly unsure what to say in this moment. I shake my head and leave, going back to my bedroom. 

I crawl back under the covers, where I know I'll be spending a lot of time until we leave for LA. 

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I write: MATT CHAPTER WOOOO, these sad chapters are painful to write lol..