Stray Gods (SLOW UPDATES BUT NOT ABANDONED)

Chapter 22

'Binnie, can we talk?' You asked hesitantly.

'Sure baby, what's up?' he asked as he let go of the bar and got up from his seat.

You quickly grabbed the towel that he had already put on his bed to wipe his forehead with. But as you reached out for him, his face suddenly seemed startled and he took a step back.

You lowered your arm with the towel.

'What's wrong?' you asked worriedly.

'Nothing,' he said quickly, his face bearing a smile that did not reach his eyes. He stuck out his hand for you to give him the towel and you handed it to him awkwardly. He grabbed it by the tip as if he was trying to make sure you wouldn't touch him. 'Thanks,' he said with a smile, dabbing his forehead. 'So, what was it you wanted to talk about?' he asked calmly.

You sat down on his bed but he stayed standing a few paces away from you.

'This,' you said, gesturing with your hand at the space between the two of you. 'You've been acting weird the past few days, Binnie, sending me and the others to our rooms, barely touching me, hovering around me all the time... What's going on?' you asked.

'Nothing, it's just you guys need to sleep more, and you should probably focus on school more,' he shrugged, evasive.

'That's bullshit and you know it, Bin,' you said, shaking your head stubbornly. 'Please, come sit with me,' you asked, patting the sheets next to you.

Changbin came to sit next to you, just far enough away so you wouldn't touch, something he didn't use to do at all before. Changbin loved touching you and the others, and he'd never missed an opportunity to do so before.

'Give me your hand,' you requested, sticking out your own to receive his. Changbin's face was flat, his jaw slightly tense as he slowly stuck his hand out for you, but just before you could touch him he balled it into a fist and pulled it back.

'Sorry, I can't,' he said. His voice sounded defeated and his face looked like he was in pain.

'What's going on, Binnie? Please, tell me,' you couldn't mask the desperation in your voice and he looked up at you. His reddish-brown eyes locked with yours.

'I...I'm scared,' he whispered, finally giving in.

'Why?' you whispered back.

'I... I'm scared that... that I'll burn you,' he admitted, his jaw tensing again.

'What? Why?' you asked, confused. He bit his lip, looking at you embarrassed before he looked away, closing his eyes in pain.

'I'm afraid I won't be able to control myself, my powers,' he said softly.

'Why? I mean, you've never burned me before. What changed?' you asked, not understanding.

Changbin frowned painfully, still not looking at you.

'You're... well, we don't know what you are for sure, but there is still a chance you might be human, y/n. At least partially,' he began. 'We, us gods, we heal quickly and pain isn't as bad for us as for you. If I'd burn you... I could never forgive myself,'

'But why would you burn me?' you repeated, still not getting it. Changbin looked at you, his expression tortured.

'Because I'm afraid I might lose control,' he admitted. 'Y/n, you're driving me insane already, I can't stop thinking about that night you slept with me and I keep wanting to touch you and kiss you. So far, I was able to keep my head quite cool, thanks to the others, but you telling us you're taking contraceptives now... Like, you're basically telling me you want to get fucked,' he spoke crudely, making you blush. 'And god, how much I want that, you have no idea, but what if I mess up, right? What if I lose control and burn you by accident? The idea of hurting you is just...' he spoke, shaking his head as he pressed his lips together.