Untamed (bxb)

33. darkness

"Why? It's not your fault."

"I'm sorry that you felt like you couldn't tell me because you were too invested with what was going on with me," I express and Bodi's dark eyes catch mine. "Maybe I should have realised what was going on with you instead of being so blind to it."

His lips part and I look down to them, he slides his hand across the table and grips my fingers. "Don't apologise, it was a crazy few weeks. But things are fine now, I think he backed down because he realised that I can beat him to shit and he doesn't want to put up a fight with me."

"You can always talk to me about your situation with your dad, you know that right?"

"Yeah," he nods genuinely. "I know but there isn't much to report right now. He's staying away from me, I'm staying away from him. I just want to get out of there as soon as I can but I don't have enough money right now. Once probation is over, I'm gonna move the hell away from him."

I find myself nodding. "Good for you, you deserve to be happy and not in the presence of that monster. I really hate your dad."

Bodi scoffs. "Join the club, I am the original member."

"But you're feeling alright at the moment?"

He gives my fingers a well needed squeeze and nods. "Yeah. You've really given my life a boost, you know? You make me happy and that makes life easier."

My head falls to rest on his shoulder and Bodi wraps an arm around me. "You make me happy too."

"Ugh," Bodi huffs out a grunt. "This cringeyness is killing me."

I laugh deeply and fight back a grin but I can't stop showing it. "You don't like the cringey talk?"

He pulls a face and stares directly out at the overgrown field. "I can hack some of it but too much will send me over the edge. You're the only exception, sometimes."

"Sometimes?" I gape.

Bodi grins back at me. "Sometimes." He clarifies.

"Idiot." I push his shoulder and he catches himself with his hand on the table.

"You know when we fought about the whole Ciara, party thing?"

"Yeah."

Bodi brushes a hand down the back of his head and twists his body towards me. "I remember you saying something about being used by guys for their own fantasies when they're not even gay, they just want to fetishise a gay person and their sexual experiences."

I hum because I have no idea where this is going. "Yeah..."

His brows crease deeply and he flashes me a strained look. "Have people done that to you?"

"Someone has, yes."

"Really? I'm sorry that happened to you."

My teeth clamp down on my lip. It's not really a subject I like talking about, at the time I told Britt but now it makes me feel pathetic and weak. As if I fell for all his shit when really he wanted to bang me whilst being engaged to a woman.

"I'm over it now but it fucking sucked at the time."

"What happened?"

I bite down on my lip and sigh, finding Bodi's eyes again. "I met this guy called Oscar at one of my castings, he was a part of the crew. I got his number, he wanted to take me out. At the time I really liked him, he was a bit older than me."

Bodi hums and places his soft palm on the inside of my thigh, I focus on his hand and the warmth it spreads throughout my body without struggle. He has that crazy effect on me.