The Queen's Maid

fifteen

I was not sure how long I ran, or how much I cried, or how many people I shoved past. When I came to my senses, I had collapsed onto the floor in front of the Queen and the Sanggung.

"Seul-Ki!" the head palace lady exclaimed. "Insolent brat, you are not allowed to barge into Her Majesty's room like this!"

Ignoring all etiquettes, she sprung to her feet and stomped towards me, her expression that of a raging fiend. I flinched at her harsh strides, but before she could reach me, the Queen spoke.

"Sanggung." The voice was a gentle warning. "Leave us."

"But this girl dares to—"

"Leave."

My vision was blurred, but I could hear the Sanggung's strained, "Yes, Your Majesty..." followed by her reluctant steps out of the room.

Then, a pair of arms wrapped around me. I found myself curling into their warmth instinctively.

"What's wrong, Seul-Ki?" the Queen whispered into my ears.

My heart was still beating out of my chest, and my head was still throbbing from the blood rush, but the Queen's embrace soothed me enough to speak.

"Why... Why are people so mean to you?" The memory of Seul-Na's words stung me more than the tears in my eyes. "Why do they... say such... cruel things... about you?"

The Queen said nothing. Instead, she tightened her grip around me, pulling me closer. And into her shoulder, I sobbed.

I could not get Seul-Na's disgusted tone out of my head. The way she had talked about the Queen, her eye roll, her wrinkled nose, her absolute disbelief that the Queen was anything but dazzling. I could not believe my sister.

And I could not stop crying.

The Queen let me. Without a word, she let me cry until I ran out of energy. I was staining her fresh robes and weighing her down, but she let me.

After my sobs turned into quiet sniffs, she finally broke the silence.

"When I was told I had to marry the King, I was not happy."

I lifted my head and frowned. The Queen caressed the tears away from my cheeks as she continued.

"I knew I had to, for my family, for... the country. I knew it was my duty. But that did not stop me from being angry at the world. And I was... so angry." She sighed. "I... wasn't the best version of myself. I took my anger out on everyone around me. I refused to try and make my relationship with the King work, even just a little bit. And I was... cruel too. As cruel as people now are about me. What they say about me now, I probably deserve it."

I shook my head so vigorously that the Queen had to withdraw her hands away from me. "No, Your Majesty, that's just not true!"

Smiling, she cupped my face. "I know what people have been saying about me, Seul-Ki. I've always known, and I never bothered to do anything about it. But what I did not know is that one day, I will meet someone who does not care what people say about me. Who is willing to get to know me first."

She leaned in, her lips a hair away from mine. "You changed everything. That day... you didn't look at me the same way new servants always looked at me. You looked at me like... you weren't afraid. Instead, you were..." —a breathy laugh— "You changed everything, Seul-Ki. You changed my life."

I was so shocked by this confession that I almost did not register the kiss she planted on me. But when our tongues met, I melted into her. Her hands cradled my cheeks as she kissed—hard and passionate, as though she was trying to extract the sadness away from me.