His "Sister"

Chapter 17: Who to trust

This chapter is dedicated to, and I quote, "YOUR NUMERO UNO FAN" aka Tajul, she is just about the most amazing person ever okay that's all I have to say before stalling more.

Fear flooded my mind, what the hell is happening, swiveling my head towards Ashton i demand, "What is going on? Am I high right now? I don't even do drugs so this explanation BETTER sound somewhat sober."

He fidgets with his hands awkwardly in a way that has my stomach tied up in knots. "Well uh he's a liar so um just yeah believe me." Ashton pleas/lies in such a pathetic way.

Barking  in a fit of laughter Ryan manages, "Oh god Emerson he's such scum I can't even breathe right now oh god." and then doubles over with laughter.

"I'm glad you find this amusing, and I find other people's pain amusing, so if you would like to reproduce you should hush." A sharp glance in his direction causes the laughter to die down. Ashton is sweaty and pulling at his shirt collar nervously like I've murdered 7 people or something.

"Now, before Iose my shit and become very, very unlady like tell me why I went from cloud nine to in the middle of rush hour traffic."

"You know I love you Emerson, don't you?" Ashton stalls, I've had just about enough of this.

As immature and possibly ridiculous as this sounds, it freaks me out not to have any idea what's going on since most of my life has been pretty shaky. Waking up everyday and not knowing if my father was going to ease his greif in neglecting or beating me has never been a joyride. It has mentally ruined any trust in people I could ever have, since trusting only ends badly, with a metaphorical knife stuck in your back. The blanket of hidden anxiety and fear has settled back into my mind and made itself quite comfy and at home. Lovely.

"And that's why I wanted to date Skylar instead of you in the beggining because I knew it would end badly." Ashton huffs, looking relieved. "Okay see you later .... bye!" He scrambles to try and escape. but I grab his shirt.

"Not so fast speed-racer, I would like to request for you to slow down, rewind, and replay everything you just said I was in Emerson land. Don't judge me it's a fantastic place where chocolate is supreme and assholes don't exist." A dreamy smile spreads across my face like Nutella on toast just thinking about it.

The jump-anxious expression returns to Ashton's face, "Uhhm uhm  uh . ... I forgot?"

Ryan pushes him over, "What a pussy. Ashton was saying how before he asked you out he never stopped thinking about you . . . ever. And that he chose to date Skylar because he personally thought she was prettier, not that I agree personally, plius he didn't know if the school would make fun of him or not for being with you. So, he didn't grow balls and forget about society's opinion, and picked Barbie, which I'm thankful for. Another major detail that bastard left out was that he didn't actually break up with Barbie, even though he likes you better, since he still doesn't want to be judged by society. You were his back up girlfriend, hence me stopping your kiss, and the fact that you are the most beautiful and wonderfully weird girl I've ever met." Ryan delivers the news, adding his two-cents in where he found necessary.

As sweet as Ryan is, I"m astonished at what Ashton had hidden all along, my heart cracks thinking about the overall picture that has been painted.

"Wow, Ashton, that was quite the story Ryan just told me. And  you know what? If I'm so hideous and embarrassing I'll let you kiss my ass, since I'd hate to ruin your precious reputation. Imagine what ALL of your equally judgemental friends would say about dating a potato like me, that would be fucking tragic. So next time you just want booty call or someone to pretend to be your sibling hire a low paying prostitute, I'm sure she would be more than eagar, and ATTRACTIVE AS A BONUS!!!" My face is red and I"m ready to cry.

With both middle fingers in the air i shout, "I'M AN ACTOR, THEY'RE ALL ACTORS, AND THIS IS MTV'S DISASTER DATE!!" While once again running stupidly from my problems, I swat away the thought that nothing ever is solved that way. The impending footsteps behind me cheer me on to sprint faster.

"EMERSON WAIT!!!" Ryan shout's, his voice bekons me to halt in my steps.

He wraps his arms around my waist in a hug from behind. "Face me, Emmers." 

"No." I pout.

" I"m not the bad guy, remember?" His voice soothes.

"Yeah but this is me versus the world, Superman, everyone is a bad guy out to get me." A solitary tear rolls down my face.

"You don't need to push me away, you don't need to handle this alone. Look, I know that your father, a person who should protect you, isn't there. I also know that you just lost someone you have had tons of history with, who you probably day dreamed about, and not me. But I've noticed that you try to keep yourself together by removing people from your life, and I am not going to leave. Even if  I turn into someone like Charles and stalk you obsessively, you aren't going to be able to get rid of me with a restraining order. That shit will not work on me, as creepy as that sounds, I honestly care about you and want to comfort you. If dating is to soon, or you're simply not into it that much, I will wait, okay?" His hand lifts my chin up to face him, his eyes are silky pools of chocolate, damn I love chocolate.

"Okay, Superglue." I say quietly, "Drive me home I need to do some serous thinking."