ʜᴘ ~ sᴀᴅ ᴏɴᴇ sʜᴏᴛs||ᴇɴɢ

𝑻𝒊𝒎𝒆 (𝒅𝒓𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒚)

(After the war)

NF – Time

Draco's POV

Even if we both break down tonight and you say you hate me, and we go to bed angry, I know everything will be alright. I'll be here waiting and I promise I'm changing. I just need...

"Malfoy!" I heard you shout.

You were furious. I felt it. Interesting, what did I do wrong this time.

"Yes?" I stood up from a couch, placing the glass with alcohol on the table.

"You promised, YOU FUCKING PROMISED, that you will NOT drink!" I saw your face.

You were really furious. If that was possible, steam would come out of your ears. Your hands were clenched into fists.

I got scared. I already knew, what I did wrong this time. I promised I would not drink. But I couldn't stand it. A fire of guilt started to burn in my heart.

"I..." I started.

I didn't know what am I supposed to tell you. I knew I did wrong, but what could I do? Say sorry? It's just stupid, empty word.

"What again?! You promised!" You shouted.

I stayed silent. You approached the table, passing by me. You grabbed the glass with alcohol and you poured the liquid to the sink in the kitchen. I wasn't looking at you, when you were doing it. I lowered my head.

"Get out." You came to me, saying these words.

"Alright, but I'll come back for night."

"As you wish, but I won't open the door for you."

You were still very furious. Still with my head lowered I went upstairs, grabbed the keys and left.

I know I can be a difficult person and that I'm a cause of stress.

~•~

I locked myself in a bathroom. We had argued again. You're standing behind the door and you bang against them your head or fists, saying:

"Draco, please, get out."

I hear you're crying and that you're very nervous. You know I'm going to break soon. Always, when we are in such situation, I say something, that hurts you.

"Fuck you!" I shout "I hate you, FUCKING HATE, do you understand!?"

I act like I'm already gone, although only door is between us.

I wonder why you are shouting at me to get out if I'm not here.

"Draco!" I hear your voice.

"Get the fuck out of here!" I reply.

I don't like to be wrong, but I know that you too. But one of us must have been wrong this time. I hate it.

I know I make you feel like you're on the end of your rope, but that's why I look at you and tell you I'd be better alone.

"You're a fucking shit, leave me alone!" I shout as you stay silent.

But it's only my pride taking, isn't it? Because we both know that I'm a definition of wreck. When you look into my soul, it comes out, that I'm in a vulnerable place.

I made so many mistakes, that I'd like to erase so much.

~•~

"When I'm afraid, I get distant and I push him away as far as I can. But it's really not important, what would be going on, I'd do everything for him." I tell my psychologist.

"And have you bought him the ring?" He asked.

"No. I'm still not going to do this, but we fight with each other like he's already wearing the thing. Isn't it wonderful?" I reply.

"Yes. You are two passionate men, who are not afraid to say what they think. It often leads to a passionate conversation, when it's hard for you to agree."

"I always overanalyze everything but he knows me very well. He's always depressed but he's trying to find the better part of me."

"He's looking for something what is probably right in front of his feet."

"Maybe he's not as stubborn as me, but he's close to it."

"You just have a lot of issues, that you're trying to work through, but going to therapy for him is worth doing it, when you know, he was with you, when you were at your worst."

"I still am." I snore.

"I know it hurts to know, that you carry it all on your chest, making it very hard for you to open up."

~•~

I came back home in the evening. You were in the living room, smoking a cigarette. Hypocrite. You told me not to smoke and you do it yourself.

"Harry?" I stood behind you.

"What do you want!?" You growled, not looking at me.

"I wanted to say that I regret a lot of things and I'm sorry for all the stress that I'm the cause of."

You looked at me. I continued.

"This is not what I meant to do and I want you to know I love you too death when if..."

You stood up and approached me. I got scared a little bit and I stopped speaking.

"Continue." You said.

"...even if we both break down tonight and you say you hate me, and we go to bed angry, I know everything will be alright. I'll be here waiting and I promise I'm changing. I just need..."

"What do you need?"

I looked at the cigarette your were holding between your fingers.

"...time." I finished.

"And who told you this?" You snored.

"You won't understand." I murmured "You know what? Better leave me alone."

"But I want to know!" You shouted.

"My psychologist." I sighed.

You didn't know what to say. We were standing for a few minutes in silence, before you were the one to break it

"You... Go to a therapy?"

I was looking at the cigarette between your fingers.

"Yes." I answered.

"Why?" You were completely surprised.

"For you." I murmured.

"Take me to the next meeting." You said quickly "And, damn, look at me!"

I wanted to say "no" but I looked at you with tears in my eyes. You took a drag on your cigarette.

"You've got beautiful eyes. But, THE FUCK, do not cry!"

"Could you not shout at me?" I asked with fear.

"No!" You replied "Sorry."

"Hypocrite." I growled.

"You or me?" You mocked.

"Of course you, you dickhead. You tell me not to smoke, and you do it yourself."

"And you tell me not to drink..."

"Stop, THE FUCK, stop!"

I grabbed my head and started to pull out my hair. I started to cry. You put out your cigarette in the ashtray. You approached me and grabbed my forearms covered in scars. I looked at you.

"W-what?" I asked.

"Can I kiss kiss you?"

"Are you fucking joking?"

You slowly pulled my hands far from my hair. You grabbed my hands. You snogged me in the cheek.

"I'm not joking, you dickhead." You muttered, crying.

"Y-you can, b-but carefully." I answered.

You quickly found the way to mi lips. I gave back the kiss.