ʜᴘ ~ sᴀᴅ ᴏɴᴇ sʜᴏᴛs||ᴇɴɢ

𝑪𝒂𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒎𝒆 (𝒅𝒓𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒚)

(On the train to Hogwarts at the begining of the 6th year/ NF – can you hold me)

!!!WARNING!!!

!Contains drinking blood and they're not vampires! A lot of self harm!

Harry

I was on the King's Cross and I was thinking about my life again.Everyone was happy, except me. I was the exception. Anyway, as always.

I'm The fucking Chosen One.

I was unconsciously following Hermione on the platform. I was at the very end. It was really easy to lose her in this crowd, but I didn'tcare about it.

I heard a sound announcing that we have to get on the train.

This year we especially didn't have time to say 'Goodbye' to Mrs and Mr Weasley. We just said 'See you' and got on the train.

With Ron, Hermione, Ginny and Luna we found a free compartment. I sat by the entrance from the compartment.

I'm kinda afraid of people and I don't feel comfortable in the crowd. So, if I would be sitting by the window, I'd be too much surrounded by them.

I was looking trough the compartment's window.

Along the corridor, Malfoy was walking with his gang, but he didn't look at me.

Well, if hasn't come yet to argue with me, then I'm sure he'll do it later.

Train moved.

I started to think about what I'm doing with my life again.

Ron loves Hermione.

I mean, they're not together, but it's impossible for me to not notice it.

Luna is... weird. Just her presence makes everone think you're a freak.

Dean and Seamus are dicks.

Neville is afraid of everything and everone thinks he's weak, so only his presence makes everone think you're also weak.

Ginny... She thinks I love her, but I don't love her. Moreover, she likes gossiping, so I'm afraid to tell her anything what is important for me and I don't want anyone to know. She has had a lot of boyfriends, so her 'love' towards me is rather a stupid infatuation.

During this holidays I didn't get any letter. From anyone. Even for my birthday. Everone forgot about me.

Well, I wouldn't complain if this holidays I'd have received a letter from Voldemort with question if he could kidnap me for a couple of days. Of course I know that it would end by my death.

I really wouldn't complain if it'd happened.

I hate my life.

I hate myself.

I would kill myself if weren't fucking The Boy Who Lived.

'Harry?'I heard Hermione's voice and I turned my head towards her, trying to hide the sadness in my eyes. 'Everything alright?'

'Yes, Hermione, don't worry.' I murmured in a respond.

'You don't look good, Harry. You know you can tell us about it.'

'Hermione,it's okay.' I said sharply, what could sound as an attack.

'Harry...'I stood up, interrupting her.

'I said I'm okay. What isn't clear for you?' I screamed.

She wanted to add something, but I looked at her that way, so she decided to be quiet. Ginny stood up from her seat and came to me. I started to panic a bit, but I was trying to hide it.