In Front Of A Camera

• chapter thirty five •

Neither Harry nor Louis wanted to turn back to the doctor and face the reality of what else he had to say, but they didn't have much of a choice.

"So... um.." Harry's voice cracked and he quickly cleared his throat, blinking rapidly. "What can we expect over the coming months?" He wanted to make sure Louis was as comfortable and content as possible.

"Well, Astrocytoma varies from person to person, and symptoms can be vastly different," the doctor explained. "But the most common are headaches and nausea continuing to worsen, mood swings, seizures and some slowing down cognitively as well."

Harry swallowed thickly and nodded, looking back at Louis who was sitting and staring at the wall wordlessly.

They sat together and listened for the next several minutes as the doctor explained the need for appointments every couple of weeks, what medications he could take and some other things that would help.

Soon, they found themselves back in the car, driving home in silence, neither of them able to speak without bursting into sobs again.

•

A photoshoot was the very last thing Harry wanted to be doing the next day, but he'd rescheduled and moved so many things around recently that he had to go.

He had several photoshoots and appearances planned over the next few months, which he had to stick with, but he wasn't going to be taking on any new projects for a while.

Harry looked awful as he walked into the studio, an hour late. He had the biggest dark circles under his eyes, his hair a tangled mess, and his face was all splotchy and swollen from crying.

"Harry you're here! We didn't know if you were gonna make-" one of the makeup artists started to speak but Harry shook his head.

"Shut up. I'm fucking tired and I wanna get this over with so I can go home." Harry muttered, refusing to make eye contact.

"Harry," Mitch spoke and Harry's head whipped over in his direction.

"I don't want to talk right now Mitch." He said, plopping himself down into the makeup chair and closing his eyes.

He hadn't been like this in a long time. His moods and outbursts had appeared to be a thing of the past ever since Louis came along, and seeing this side of Harry again was startling to everyone.

At first, Mitch couldn't figure out what would have him acting this way. Though, as he started to remember the events of the last shoot, he started to realize maybe there was something wrong.

Louis being sick... leaving early... the dots were connecting in his head. Something was going on with Louis, and if Harry was acting up like this, it had to be serious.

Harry was extremely irritable and snappy for the remainder of the day, and by the end of the photoshoot everyone was grouchy.

Harry was gathering up his things and about to leave, when Mitch approached him. "Hey H, you okay? You haven't been yourself today... I'm worried."

Harry slung his bag over his shoulder and stood up straight. "I'm fine." He mumbled, but Mitch could see the way his eyes were filling with tears.

"Harry...." He said quietly. "You know you can tell me what's going on right? I'm not just your manager, I'm your friend. I care about you."

"Like I said... I'm fine." Harry replied, his nostrils flaring a bit as he pursed his lips and tried not to cry. "Louis um... he isn't fine though."

"Shit H, that's not good. What's going on?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"He um... well we got the results back from the doctor yesterday," Harry swallowed, "and he has a brain tumor."

"Oh gosh..." Mitch said, he hadn't been expecting something that serious. "Is he gonna do treatment?"

Harry shook his head solemnly, looking down at his feet. "No. It's um.. it's incurable. He has at most about three months left."

Mitch didn't know what to say, no words could make this any better. Instead, he wrapped his arms around his friend, hugging him while he cried.

Eventually Harry pulled away, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. "Anyway... um. I need to go, Everleigh's sitter has to leave in a couple minutes and I don't want Louis to have to look after her while he's not feeling well."

"Alright, please let me know if you need anything okay?" Mitch replied.

"For sure, thanks Mitch. I'm not cancelling anything I have booked, but I'm not taking on anything new, so if anyone reaches out can you just tell them I can't please?" Harry asked.

He nodded, "Of course H. I'll be in touch, say hi to Louis and Everleigh for me."

Harry nodded with a small sniffle, "I will. Thanks again."

With that, they parted ways and Harry drove home, eager to be back with his loved ones again.

•

"I'm sorry I didn't leave Liam sooner," Harry said that night as he and Louis laid in bed, Everleigh asleep between them, and the tv playing on low.

"Harry, listen to me." Louis said quietly, turning onto his side so that he could meet his gaze. "You don't have a thing to be sorry for okay? You were in an abusive relationship, and it wasn't something you could've just done over night."

"I know... but now we don't get as much time together and it's all my fault." Harry replied, starting to cry again, he didn't know how he had any tears left at this point.

"Hey hey hey..." Louis whispered gently, reaching over and wiping Harry's fresh tears with his thumb. "It's not your fault. Life dealt us some shitty situations, and neither of us are to blame. Please don't think like that baby."

Harry bit his trembling lip and nodded, "I'll try."

And he did try. He tried as hard as he could, but the guilt that washed over him that night while he sat behind Louis who was sobbing over the toilet, clutching his head in pain, wasn't something he could just erase.

He couldn't help but think about all of the miserable nights Louis had gone through on his own, while he was with Liam.

Louis fell asleep in Harry's arms on the bathroom floor that night.

Harry? He didn't fall asleep at all.

Hey guys! Thanks for reading, sorry for another slow update but life has been pretty busy! I hope you're still enjoying the story. Your feedback and support has meant the world 💛
-stella