Kagaz

Chapter 8

After 3 hours of sitting in a Cafe, all alone, my mother finally comes. Ofcourse, she flew in from Delhi so I am not complaining. Besides the 3 hours really did help me. I called the prince to let him know where I am. I just need this time alone. I don't even know why I am so upset about this. I've known something like this would happen for a long time now. But seeing the reality of the situation is much scarier than I imagined.

My mother settles down in the chair across from me. Her high heels and pantsuit looks all prim and proper like she did not just got out from a flight. Age has nothing on Samaira Rajvansh. It's like she stopped aging after my brother was born. Same with my father. Both of them still look like they are in their early 40s, which looks unreal. But Satan and his witch did not age. My mother holds my hand which brings me out of my daydreaming. "Kya hua beta? Kisi ne kuch kaha tumse?"

(What happened child? Did someone say something to you?)

I know if I say yes, then she will be out with her dagger to hunt whoever said anything to me. It's like, she will murder people who cross her children and then dad would bail her out of jail. "You already know what happened mumma." She sighed. Ofcourse she knows. I told her a little bit and nanu would have told her the rest.

"But you already knew something like this would happen Aaru. You told me that yourself. Then why are you so upset about it?"

"Because mai thak gayi hu mumma. I am the heir to a throne that I have to fight for every single day. Isn't it my birthright? Then why the hell is it so goddamn difficult?" My breathing picks up and black spots start appearing in my vision.

(Because i am tired, mother)

Fucking panic attack.

I don't quiet down though. Me speaking up will only get my brain to calm down. My mother shifts closer to me and wraps her arm around my shoulder. "What wrong did I do mumma? To not help fill those ministers pocket? To not be as lenient towards them? Mai bas logon ka acha chahti hu. What is so wrong in that?" Why the fuck am I crying? That too in a public place.

(I just want the good of the people.)

My life has become a fucking disaster. It's so awful. "Calm down Aaru. Take deep breaths bacha. Listen, look at me." I turn to her, still struggling to breathe. My panic attacks are not so easily conversed through. I always have big ass episodes. My hands tremble as I hold on to the table, so to stop them from shaking. My head is weirdly all over the place. It's probably hormones.  I don't dwell on it much as my mother grabs my attention.

"You are an extremely strong woman, Aarohi. You get that from your family. Your grandmother, your grandfather, your father. You might be a Raichand now, but you're a Rajvansh before any of that. Rajvanshi's don't give up. They fight. No matter how long. I understand that you're tired. Anyone would be but you cannot give up. Do you understand? Too many people have put their trust in you. You cannot let them down. Your father and I are so proud of you Mera bacha. Now you have to make your people, the ones that support you proud. They trust you to be their queen. And you will be. Think of Kabir. He gave up his life in Delhi to come and live with you here. You need to do this for him, if not for yourself."