HOW TO RUIN YOUR LIFE (LGBTQ+)

39

    "I'm tired, Asa," he said, staring down at the ground.

    No.

    No, no, NO!

    Everyone around me seemed to be dying. One by one...

    I watched in horror and helplessness as Jonah smirked and pulled the trigger, and it seemed like slow motion as I tore from the men holding me still and threw myself in front of Percy, catching the bullet in my arm.

    "What the hell," Jonah hissed. "You were supposed to hold her down!"

    "Apologies," one of the men said. "She's just...really strong."

    Percy stared down at me, an incredulous look plastered on his face as blood leaked from my arm onto the wooden floor. I grinned weakly, my inhibitions seeming to melt away.

    Jonah rolled his eyes. "Fine, let's try this again."

    "Wait," I said, sitting up, my vision fading in and out.

    "Jesus, someone help her," Jonah said. "I want her alive, not bleeding out."

    He wants me alive.

    Why?

    I was supposed to DIE here.

    "If you kill him, I'll kill myself," I said, my voice wavering.

    Jonah pinched the bridge of his nose. "It'd be easier to just kill you both right here and right now...goddamn. But I can't just do that! I want you to work for me, Asa. You're cold blooded. I'm not, and most of my men are not either. I need someone like you to carry out assassinations for me. But I need you to come willingly." He put his gun down as my arm was being bandaged.

    Assassinations...?

    "I'll leave Percy alive if he pledges loyalty to me."

    Percy looked dumbfounded. "What?"

    "What do you want, Percy? I like to be a fair leader, so in exchange for your loyalty, what do you want?"

    Percy swallowed. He hesitated for several long seconds before saying, "My sister's body."

    "Ah." Jonah nodded. "Done. You can have it."

    I grimaced. This man was much more dangerous than Max. He changed his mind on a whim. He was unpredictable.

    Like me.

    "And Asa..." Jonah said, grinning down at me. "You're already a part of this company, yet you've never been the most loyal, have you?"

    What have I gotten myself into now?

    "Not to Max, or Izzy."

    Jonah crouched down next to me, squeezing my cheeks together, forcing me to angle my head up towards him. "I want to own you, Asa. I want you to be my vicious guard dog. How will you prove yourself to me?"

    I just...don't want anyone else to die.

    No one.

    I won't put my siblings on the line for this.

    And I won't put my friends in danger.

    I looked over at Percy, who was looking back at me. Jonah was intelligent. I had to tell the truth, or at least a half truth. Otherwise, he'd see right through me.

    "I...care about Percy," I said. "I won't do anything to put him in danger."

    Percy stared back at me, anger burning deep in his eyes, but not showing on his face. I could feel his hatred from the distance between us.

    Yet...I wasn't lying. I did care about him in a way. He had been an exciting opponent for me to face, and I had wanted his attention on me.

    I had wanted to see him try to kill me.

    I don't want him to die.

    Jonah laughed. "I see. I see. This is a good trade. Aren't you excited? We're going to do some great things together."

    I looked away from Percy, back to the ground.

    I should be dead right now.

    Yet...here I am.

    Why?

    Why am I still here?

    Why?