HOW TO RUIN YOUR LIFE (LGBTQ+)

25

It was almost dusk when I made it back to my house. I had stopped at a gas station, using the phone inside to call Sterling back so he wouldn't come to my house. I'd destroyed my phone on a whim, but I would buy a new one. This time it would be a flip phone. I was tired of smart phones at this point.

    I was absolutely exhausted, and in no mood to go out. But I didn't want the three of them to come snooping around my house, which they would definitely do. Sterling would, at least. It was in his character. So I would have to go.

    A part of me wanted to go too. Seeing a few friendly faces felt needed after what I'd done.

    After I did a few things first, of course.

    I crashed through the front door, my legs screaming at me and my mind hazy. I stumbled through the rooms into the kitchen, yanking on the faucet handle until cold water poured, and I stuck my head under it, gulping for what felt like minutes on end, struggling to quench my burning thirst. I had walked for 13 hours straight, with only one stop for water at that creek under the bridge.

    I lifted my head from the faucet, gasping for air, and leaned over the sink again, my body convulsing as I retched up half of the water I'd just swallowed.

    "Ugh," I moaned, leaning forward onto the sink. The water poured over my neck and soaked into my sweat-drenched collar. I lifted a shaking hand up, turning the faucet off, and then my knees buckled, taking me down to the ground.

    Max would send someone to the house, most likely tonight. He kept a tight leash on his sister, and it had been 24 hours already.

    I jerked my head up, eyes wide. "Cleo."

    The payment wasn't made. She was deadweight to the organization now, simply a liability if she was kept alive. If I didn't dispose of her, one of Max's subordinates would.

    I grabbed the edge of the counter, using it to pull my body upright, struggling to think clearly.

    I have to kill her.

    Max will want proof of her death.

    What's one more?

    I'd been under Max's wing for ten years now. If I told him that Izzy hadn't shown up to my house at all, or that she'd shown up and then left when I refused to run away with her, he wouldn't immediately question my loyalty. I could use his sister's slight insanity against him.

    Yes, he'd believe it.

    But Cleo.

    She was just a child, with a father who didn't love her.

    "I don't want her to die," I muttered, slowly shuffling over to the basement door. My heart rate rose as I heard myself admit it.

    I don't want her to die.

    I don't...

    ...want to kill her.

    No. I had to. What else could I do?

    I opened the door, staring down into the blackness. My vision was blurry at the edges, and I closed my eyes for a few seconds, breathing in...out...in...out...

    In...out...

    I opened my eyes, and began my descent.

    Cleo was sleeping as I approached, the water jug empty. She hadn't had new water or food for a day. I dropped to my knees next to her body, and began to mechanically unfasten the manacles on her wrists and ankles. She stayed asleep the whole time. Or maybe she was just pretending. Either way, it didn't matter to me.

    I tried lifting her into my arms, but my entire body was seeming to shut down and fall apart. She woke up amidst my struggles, her dark eyes pinning on me.

    "It's you," she said. She looked down at her free limbs, then back at me, most likely taking in how frazzled I looked.

    "Your father doesn't want you back," I whispered to her, bracing myself on the basement floor. "He refused to pay the ransom money."

    She watched me with an unchanging expression. "Are you...going to hurt me again?"

    I looked up, chuckling a bit. "No. I don't want to."

    Yes, you do.

    I froze.

    The voice was back.

    "Do you want to live?" I asked.

    Cleo nodded. I could see her eyes shining with unshed tears, her small body trembling with emotion.

I nodded back. "Okay. Stay here, I'm gonna grab some things." To fake her death.

I had to make it real. When Max's subordinate arrived, I would need some kind of proof. I'd already used Izzy's phone to tell Max that the 'package was deceased', so Max wouldn't have much doubt in his mind. I would use a camera. And then I would hide her.

What's the plan, Asa?

You're gonna hide her, lie about Izzy's death, and then what?

Be her mom?

Live happily ever after?

I shook my head clear of the thoughts, and got to work. It was over quick enough. I instructed Cleo to play dead, and I took a few pictures of her with a low quality camera, and then led her up the stairs, not bothering to cover her eyes.

At this point, it didn't matter.

I'd be lucky to make it out of this alive.

All that mattered was watching after the ones I cared for, and now, I cared for Cleo too. So I took her outside, into the woods, to an old treehouse that had stayed together for decades, and told her to stay inside of it. To lay low until I told her otherwise.

And when I returned to the house, a black SUV was in the driveway.