liz truss x priti patel: the complete story

6. January 2020

"Liz!" Priti shouted, seeing Liz down the corridor as she entered No.10, hanging up her coat and scarf on the peg.

Liz looked up from her papers, putting them on the desk as a smile spread across her face. They hurried to one another, holding each other in a tight hug, delighted to feel the other close again.

"I missed you so much." Liz said quietly.

"I missed you too." She caught a glimpse of the clock. "Oh! We have to go, the meeting's about to start." They pulled apart. "But, would you want to get lunch today?"

"Yes, definitely. Usual place?"

"Yep."

They walked to the cabinet room, talking about their holidays, and it was as if nothing had changed.

*

Boris was wrapping up the first cabinet meeting of the year. The mood remained on a high after the holidays, and buzzed with an anticipation that everything was going to plan.

"Any last comments before we go?"

Matt Hancock spoke up.

"I, uhhhh, I know we're all very focused on Brexit right now, as we rightfully should be, but I've been told to update everyone about the coronavirus situation in Wuhan, China."

"Come on Matt, don't be such a downer!" Boris interrupted jokingly, receiving a few quiet laughs. Matt looked more clueless than amused, and stopped talking completely. "I- I'm only joking Matt, very important stuff, do continue." Matt smiled awkwardly and continued after an awkward pause.

"The Prime Minister will be up to date about this but my department is currently working on a monitoring system and a statement with Public health England which will be published next week. We don't really know what's going to happen yet but it's probably nothing to worry about at this stage." Matt nodded to show he was finished.

"Right, thank you everybody! And remember, this is the month everything changes, we will get Brexit done!" He said triumphantly, as cheers filled the room.

*

By the final week of the month, the Brexit withdrawal bill had received full assent, and on the 31st January, at 11pm, the country would leave the EU.

Parliament square was decorated with union flags as lights illuminated the buildings around Whitehall. A clock projected onto No.10 counted down the moment Britain would leave, and inside the building, cabinet ministers gathered over canapés and sparkling wine.

"I know it's a momentous occasion, but how is this the fourth party we've had in six months?" Priti told Liz quietly as they walked into No.10. "I'm running out of formalwear."

"That's Boris for you, I guess. The only party we had for Theresa was when she resigned."

Priti snorted with laughter, as a butler passed with a tray of canapés. The night's forced attempt to use only English foods had resulted in a strange variety of options, which essentially dialled down to cheese and crackers and pub lunches dressed up with fancy names. Liz took a 'savoury shortbread topped with Shropshire blue cheese' from the tray and finished it in one bite.

"Nice to see Dominic's dressed up." Priti said scornfully, seeing him in his usual baggy jeans and shirt on the other side of the room.

"Only two more hours to go!" Liz replied, feigning excitement.

"Do we really have to stay the whole time? What are we meant to do?

"I kind of want to do some work."

"I know what you mean. We've only been back for a few weeks, it feels too early to celebrate."

"Shall we go to another room for a bit? I don't think they'd notice."

They went into the empty offices and sat in comfortable silence, finishing up on some work.

"What are you working on?" Liz asked Priti, whose brow was furrowed in concentration.

"I'm just looking over the youth deradicalisation plans."

"Oh, yes, the 'madness'." Liz laughed, referencing a criticism of Priti's plans.

"God, my department is hopeless. You know, I don't like to shout, but these civil servants don't learn, and half the time they're coming out with the most unworkable suggestions."

"Well, no wonder your plans were called 'madness' when half the people working on them sound like utter morons." Liz said affirmingly. "Are you still having problems with Rutnam?"

"Yes, I'm trying to get him to resign but I'm seeing no luck yet. Honestly I'm alarmed by the ineptitude of the civil service. Do you know what I think is to blame?"

"What?" Liz asked, humouring Priti. She loved seeing her passionate like this, the way her eyes shone as she spoke, even if what she said was borderline hateful.

"Wokeness. Yep, wokeness. They're always talking about how they're being overworked and it's 'bad for their mental health', well, if they don't want to be working overtime they shouldn't be working for the government."

"Exactly." Liz said in agreement.

*

With 11pm half an hour away, Priti and Liz returned to the party, which was even fuller now.

"Do you want to stay over tonight?" Priti whispered, and Liz agreed, until they were interrupted by a drunk Boris bundling over to them.

"Ladies, help me, I'm hiding from Dominic."

They exchanged amused looks and sheltered him behind them as they went to a corner of the room. He put a hand to his temple, exasperated.

"Golly! How can someone become such a bore when they drink! Right in my ear, going on and on, about Russia and, and Xenophon!"

"God, not Xenophon!" Liz said, neither of them having any idea who or what that was. Priti laughed, but Boris didn't get the joke and continued speaking.

"Anyway, how are you ladies doing tonight? Some- some very smart frocks you've got on there."

Liz and Priti chatted with Boris and were eventually joined by other ministers, most notably a wine-drunk Matt who was almost manic as he danced with one of his aides.

*

It was only minutes away before the country left the EU, and everyone had gathered before the screen to watch the countdown.

"10... 9... 8... 6... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1..."

The room erupted with ecstatic chants and applause, and Boris stood to deliver another unintelligible speech which everyone loved.

As the lights were lowered and the music turned up, it seemed that the party was only just beginning. The small space was no hindrance, as everybody danced with each other and sang aloud to Sweet Caroline, Don't Stop Believin' and (I've Had) The Time of My Life.

And as they partied through the night, only cities away, the country's first coronavirus case appeared.