Tales of Fire and Ruin

Guileful

After what my mother said in the foyer, I couldn't stop blood from flooding my cheeks as I entered Oleander's room and brought him water. I felt Oleander's eyes resting on me, but I didn't look at him as I placed the pitcher and a glass on his nightstand. It didn't feel appropriate to stay beside Oleander while he rested, so I didn't linger near the bed. 

I turned towards to the door. "I'll leave you so you can rest." 

"Wait," Oleander called out after I'd already stepped into the hallway.

Taking a deep breath, I peeked into the room. "Yes?"

"...Lord Montbow, won't you sit with me for a while?" 

Oleander's eyes glistened as he looked up at me. The sight of him holding back tears welling up didn't just tug, but ripped at my heartstrings. Poor guy must've been keeping a brave face before, pretending he felt better than he did. I couldn't say no to him. Not after he had just saved my family. I could hardly ever no to him, if I was honest. 

"Of course," I muttered. 

I re-entered the room. I grabbed the chair from behind the desk, placed it next to the bed, and took a seat.

"Is my neck looking better, lord Montbow?" Oleander asked. He tilted his head to the side, letting his cheek rest on the pillow.

"Uh..." I leaned in and peered at the wound. I wasn't the best judge of skin abnormalities, but the swelling seemed to be less severe than it had been outside. There was a froth of blood and greenish paste on Oleander's neck, but it wasn't bubbling or expanding. "I think you're alright."

"Thank you." Oleander turned back to me. 

I still read unconditional trust in his gaze, even after I'd betrayed him by letting Ytel's men insult him. A stone settled in my stomach. I'd even told him to stand down. 

"I'm sorry I didn't believe you," I blurted. "About the antidote, I mean."

A small smile appeared on Oleander's lips. "It was difficult to believe, I realise that," he said. "Don't feel bad."

Oleander looked at my right hand. After a brief hesitation, he reached for it. I shivered as his fingers brushed against mine. Oleander's palm felt warm and dry, and as if on its own, my wrist turned so our fingers could entwine. Oleander tightened his grip. I didn't let go either, despite my cheeks burning. If my mother or Endris or anyone walked in right now, this would be very incriminating.

"If this is too bold, please let me know," Oleander said softly.

I was about to open my mouth and tell him holding hands was fine since he was ill, but that didn't seem to be what he meant.

"If I may ask..." Oleander paused. "What happened to you family? Why are these men after you this way? You and Ytel seemed on good terms earlier when we met at the Last Stop."

I snorted. "That looked like on good terms to you?"

"You aren't? He calls you lord."

Oleander looked genuinely surprised, reminding me of his innocence in matters of the court despite being a brilliant herbalist. I shook my head with a smile. "Oleander, whenever someone from the knights or nobility smiles at you, remember, it may not actually be a kind gesture."

Oleander's eyes grew wide as he stared at me.

"No, not my smiles," I hastily added. "Those are real. I'm not trying to trick you."

Oleander gave my hand a small squeeze. "Alright. I would be sad if you weren't honest with me."

"I am honest with you," I promised, and I was, mostly. I didn't tell him everything. I didn't let Oleander know that my heart was pounding, and that I would hold his hand even if he wasn't ill and in need of support.